Questions and Answers

It’s cold today and for some reason it is making me homesick. Apparently it’s the coldest day on record makes me question the logic of global warming.

But now I shall introduce to everyone my new obsession: Yahoo Answers.

Its fun because I can either be really serious or silly.

Here are some examples of questions I have answered.

Who agrees with me that Wikipedia is the sequel to the Bible?

You're a Bible sequel to Wikipedia!No it is not it’s more like a encyclopaedia of everything that is open to manipulation because anyone can edit it.

Source(s):
You’re Face!

Why did they built the great wall?

To keep the rabbits out!No, no just kidding it was to keep out the Mongolians...pretty much what everyone is saying.

Does running my hair dryer outside cause global warming?

I'll global warming your hair dryer outside :P Global warming is caused by an excess of carbon dioxide and methane in the atmosphere produced by humanity, by the clearing of forests, the use of cars and energy. So I guess the energy you use to run a hair dryer could contribute in a small way. My suggestion use the sun it does just as good a job as a hair dryer.

How do you know that you’re in love?

I have always thought that maybe its different for everyone, but when I think of love sickness you cannot eat, when you think about them your stomach is nothing but butterflies and nerves, you can't sleep, you cannot stop thinking about them whether you want to or not, you dream about them, you hope you see them just to see them, you feel warm and fuzzy when they smile or talk to you and you feel constantly happy as if they were floating on cloud nine and nothing can bring you down to Earth. It’s almost a euphoric feeling. I could go on but I think you get the point. You'll definitely know when you’re in love.

Help with writing? I'm writing a novel and need some help coming up with a last name for one of my characters, Ace. If you have any ideas please help.

That's awesome your writing a novel!It’s hard to say what the last name should be. Sometimes it depends on the story itself. For instance I am writing a novel that is somewhat abstract and silly so it seemed to fit when I gave the characters silly names both first and last. It helps when the name fits with the personality of the character as well.This may sound really weird but the characters name usually just come. I always say listen to the character let them tell you what his last name is. I've also looked up historical figures and sometimes I look in the thesaurus for ideas as well as phone books. You can also choose names based on the meaning of the story and the character as a whole. It's all what is best for you as the author and your character.

And here are some questions I asked…

Did dolphins and whales ever have legs? This one would make Philis mad actually to be honest this made quite a few people mad. I guess there are plenty of Philis’ in the world. Actually when I asked this I had Chris in mind.

Is it true that Neptune has a vast inner ocean? Another Philis type angering question…

Can you use the word beautiful to describe a male? Or Is a strictly feminine word?

Fun stuff I say…I was chosen for two best answers yay! Go me!

Also I took down the pictures of Officer Octogenarian in case he sees my blog and thinks I am a psycho obsessed type, which I think I am for some reason. I had this entirely dastardly idea to invite him over for spaghetti bolognaise but I am not sure how to go about it. It would involve asking my flatmate for his number…and me sounding like a twelve year old girl. However, most people I ask think it’s a good idea...My reasoning I want to test the theory that the way to mans heart is his stomach to see if it works or not.

P.S. Chapter 54 is coming soon!

Imaginary friends what a concept!

Joan :)

Antonia :)

I made some more pictures :) They are of Antonia and Joan because I didn’t want them to be left out. I did the pictures entirely on Photoshop. What I did was outline the basic lines of the person in a photograph and then filled it in with colour…its not as complicated as it sounds.

Yes yes I am writing another blog entry…I am just spinning them out aren’t I? Actually I am writing today because it are a special day. I have been here ONE YEAR and FOUR MONTHS! It seems like yesterday that I came here.

Actually to take my mind of things that are bugging me lately and there are A LOT of things bugging me. I wrote a short story which I plan to submit for a short story contest. It’s called An Imaginary Love and it’s based on things that are happening lately and past experience with imaginary friends. I have mentioned my imaginary friends before in this blog but it was ages ago. Actually I am really interested in the concept of imaginary friends for some reason.

I found these interesting articles about the phenomenon called imaginary friends. Apparently its normal and imaginary or pretend friends are actually a good thing.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/lifestyle/202632_imaginary07.html

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2004-12-19-real-play-usat_x.htm

P.S. Joan your in my thoughts I hope you get better soon!

A Title because Joan wants to read my new entry and I can't think of one!

Today because of a conversation with my mom Hev-Lady I have decided to clear something up. Officer Octogenarian and I NOT a couple nor are we dating although I wish we were because he is entirely beautiful. THE END! I should also add that what I said about the picture making me sad was entirely cryptic and umm related to the umm dating type thing. Because I was being all put down like on myself and saying well more like thinking that umm I am not pretty enough for him? Wow that was entirely personal wasn’t it? But Hev-Lady told me she disagrees and said “honey you are a very attractive young lady and you have your own beauty that one can match!” Thank you Hev-Lady! We can all agree that Hev-Lady is very wise!

Oh did I are mention he is really cute!

Oh yeah Hev-Lady saw my old blog entry I wrote about her in February and she left a comment. It was nice too! I are miss my mom.

Well this sounds sad but I think I might go home to Canada for awhile so I can get my drivers license…My goal to drive a car because licence plus car equals journalism job. YAY! Then I can apply for permanent residency for Australia while I am there as well! Then come back! Definitely come back! Of course this is just and idea.

P.S. Its official everyone agrees (including Hev-Lady) that my Officer Octogenarian is cute. Yay!

My Officer Octogenarian!

Me and Officer Octogenarian

Today I find myself hating pictures for some reason. Specifically this one. It makes me sad but strangely in a good way. I am entirely confused by the emotions this picture brings me. Yes, yes this is MY OFFICER OCTOGENARIAN! I have a vision that one day when my book is published no longer one will say this person is the one I desire but this is my Officer Octogenarian. It will no longer be a name but a code word for a secret love and beauty in the eyes of the person reciting it.

Sadly I missed out on my chance to ask him what the big brown dogs name is…There is always I next time Chris. I promise I'll ask him next chance I get.

Here is some more pictures I made too…these ones make me happy. YAY!

Yes I forgot Antonia :( I'll make a picture for her soon!

Amy! Chris and Amy

Chris!

Here it is again play lists from selected Song of the Superheroes characters.

Finbarpurpleton’s angry eyed music

1. Takin' Care Of Business - Bachman Turner Overdrive (B.T.O)
2. Its All Been Done - Barenaked Ladies
3. Told You So - Barenaked Ladies
4. 5th Symphony - Ludwig Van Beethoven
5. My Prerogative - Britney Spears
6. Making It Work - Doug And The Slugs
7. I Just Wanna Live -Good Charlotte
8. Basket Case - Green Day
9. It's My Pride - The Guess Who
10. A Boy Named Sue - Johnny Cash
11. Alert Status Red - Matthew Good
12. Bad Blood - Neil Sedaka
13. Supermans Dead- Our Lady Peace
14. Is Anybody Home? -Our Lady Peace
15. That Don't Impress Me Much - Shania Twain
16. This Is Such A Pitty - Weezer
17. Shut Up - Simple Plan
18. Brain Stew - Green Day
19. Rollin - LimpBizzkit
20. Symphony No. 9 (Scherzo) - Ludwig van Beethoven
21. Ode to Joy - Ludwig Van Beethoven

FERGUS! Fergus’ broken hearted playlist

1. Alternative Girlfriend – Barenaked Ladies
2. Lovers In A Dangerous Time - Barenaked Ladies
3. Come Together - The Beatles
4. Fools Paradise - Buddy Holly
5. It Doesn't Matter Anymore - Buddy Holly
6. No More Tears (Enough is Enough) Donna Summer
7. Fergalicous - Fergie
8. She - Green Day
9. A Wendesday In Your Garden - The Guess Who
10. Something Don't Feel Right - Guy Sebastian
11. Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress - The Hollies
12. It Aint Me Babe - Johnny Cash with June Carter Cash
13. Breaking Up Is Hard To Do - Neil Sedaka
14. Our Last Song Together- Neil Sedaka
15. U +Me =Bad - P!nk
16. Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
17. Long Dark Road - The Hollies
18. Broken - The Guess Who
19. Take It Like A Man – Bachman Turner Overdrive (B.T.O)
20. I Am Gonna Set My Foot Down - Buddy Holly
21. You Aint Seen Nothing Yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive (B.T.O)

P.S. I are think I are in like!

The Most Beautiful Boy in the Entire World.

I made a pretty picture…

CHAPTER 53 is done! YAY!

I know I should have been writing Chapter 54…but I decided to give another story I haven’t touched in a while a brush over. I re-wrote Chapter 1 of Journey to the Fifth Continent. Tis much better now and I even started Chapter 2. It’s now over 3,000 words.

Today my thoughts are about alcohol. Why would people purposely make themselves feel sick? It makes no sense to me. Especially since I did it myself...

For the last couple of months I have been lucky enough to see who I think is the most beautiful boy in the entire world. Unfortunately I think he is too beautiful for me and even though he has talked to me probably doesn’t know I exist. Besides I think he has an entire girlfriend. AN ENTIRE GIRLFRIEND!

P.S. My entire keyboard is dirty and I have a headache…no thanks to Finbarpurpleton!

This time last year...

I find my life somewhat humorous lately.

Why is it humorous? I was sitting around attempting to write Chapter 53 yesterday when I realised that Carol never came to visit in February like she said she would. We made a pact and everything. Ha ha ha I just find it hilarious that I completely forgot and I only remember now four months after the fact. It gives me the silly Melissa giggles.

It is cold lately and for some strange reason it’s making me homesick. It makes me long for the days when I would huddle under blankets, the frost covered windows, bundling myself in layers just to walk to the corner store or to go to college and I don’t know a HEATER! I find this funny because a year ago I would have not found this weather cold, which means I’ve probably acclimatised a bit. To think I used to snicker at people who said thermal underwear weather was 10 degrees C. Sadly I can see where they are coming from now. Mind you I can still say to people. “You think this is cold? Well I’m from Canada….how about some sub zero temperatures for you eh? Now that’s cold!” However, if I say I’m cold people use my Canadian background against me saying “but you’re from Canada?”

Here is an excerpt from my journal June 8th last year:

“Yet again my Grandma was very curious about the time zones. She insisted it was 4 p.m. when it was really 2 p.m. here. I’m like Grandma; ‘I think I would know what time it is here.’”

Too funny! It’s the only thing that hasn’t changed since I’ve been to Australia. My grandma still is keen on the time zones. Perhaps it’s the science fictionyness of it? Case in point I’m aware that ‘fictionyness’ isn’t a word. A word by dictionary standards that is, but by Melissa standards it’s an entire word. I made it up the end! Go me!

Actually this sounds bad but my grandma is making me annoyed, she out of her oh so helpfulness contacted Mormon church members (Officially called the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) here in Rocky. Now I am being stalked by Mormon members, Mormon missionaries, and Mormons questioning and pressuring me to go back to church. In fact two missionaries are coming to visit tomorrow, but I said it was alright because I’m not mean enough to tell them to piss off. Or should I say I lack the adequate supply of backbone material?

If only I had a wee little bit of backbone growth! I could tell my flatmate and her boyfriend to keep it down while they shall I dare say it…make bouncy bouncy. I’m scarred for life now no thanks to them. Tell certain people to back off when they are trying to be inspirational, but failing with there I am so great in my knowingness speeches and no that last one isn’t directed at anyone.

P.S. It was around this time last year I was hanging out with my A.E.S.M. friends Chris, Amy, Antonia…Chramymelonia! Gosh I miss those days!

Rainy Day Snippets

Just a quick entry to say Chapter 52 is up. YAY! I’m going to start chapter 53 after I have a nice long nap.

Because I am too tired to write a in depth entry… (I promise I write one tomorrow or the later) I’ll just write random snippets of information. For instance…

Things I’ve noticed today:

Today was a very rainy day and people looked so dreary. It makes me sad. I find it funny when I tell them there are torrential rains and flooding where my mom lives and people here ask me if that’s good? Ummm… NO ITS NOT! Then again this view is coming from a drought stricken area of the world. Still I am under the impression that flooding is bad. BAD!

I’m obscenely tired.

It’s the rain that is making me tired.

Giraffes are herbivorous! And I’m the only one weird enough to invent a giraffe that is carnivorous.

My novel would be an entire 500 page pack of paper. AN ENTIRE PACK! I are will have to edit it down much to the dissatisfaction to my friends.

Chris is obsessed with Song of the Superheroes.

I proved that Norma Normington/Mrs. Bruce Willis Man are writes differently than she are speaks…you’ll see once you read Chapter 52.

I’ve decided to stay in Australia. This would make my mom sad. SAD!

I like toasted sandwiches.

I’m so poor a pauper is richer than me.

My name is indeed in fact Melissa…NOT MEL! I’ve been trying to tell certain people not just Joan that I like to be called Melissa. If only they knew how it irritated me so.

That is all I have to say.

P.S. Its raining its pouring the old bear is snoring he bumped his shoulder on a big, big boulder and didn’t wake up till the morning.

What to Write about

What to say?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing comes to my mind that I can write about, maybe it’s because I’ve been writing all day.

Chapter 51 is finally finished. Yay! It took forever, the damned characters didn’t do what I wanted them too…so eventually I just stoped and listened to what they were telling me. They didn’t like my ending I had planned for some reason. That was the entire problem and they like to argue a lot so a majority of chapters just have them trading insults with each other. It’s hard to explain without sounding a bit eccentric. But the characters they talk to me in writer talk, they tell me what they want to happen. I had this plan for a dastardly ending, but now its may not end like I wanted it too. It doesn’t make me sad, just confounded on how things change in a story that you didn’t expect.

I am almost done Chapter 52 in fact I think I am almost done the novel. It’s been seven months since I began this story and I am anxious to finish it so I can edit and possibly try to get it published. Maybe even start one of my other projects…as I have two other novels I’ve started as well, namely the science fiction one Journey to the Fifth Continent and the sequel or spin off of Song of the Superheroes Fizzy Lemonade.

P.S. I make my own identity because I know how to mould stuff. And people are not made of play dough so they’re unable to be shaped by this so called media.

Cuthbert Higgensbottom's views on Mel Gibson

Tee hee! I left another comment for the misogynist. First it was womans vagina’s causing global warming and now apparently woman ruined Mel Gibson?

Heres what Cuthbert had to say:

I disagree my good friend. Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum was once called sugar tits as she is a police officer and they need a tranquilizer just to calm the poor woman down. But I digress would a man police officer be just as angry if you called him a dickhead? cockhead? fuckhead? Or some other comment about his masculinity? I Think so! I've been called this many times and its gets me so angry. ANGRY! And for the record I RUINED MEL GIBSON! And your a big stinky poo head in the pants. Case in point if you are not nice Mrs. Lachlan's Mum will come and beat your with her autographed copy of the Female Eunuch.

That is all
~Cuthbert Higgensbottom

P.S. I have shown this link to my good friend Nigel Bottington and he has determined that you are gay. GAY!

Amy asked why I like to bug the misogynist? Because I can! Misogynists make me angry. ANGRY! I hate it…all this website is probably some ugly man with an opinion that has nothing to back it up. But then again it’s amusing what this guy comes up with…Case in point I propose a proposition to Chris or should I say Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum to make a regular habit of posting stupid comments on his site. Ha!

Today I spent the bulk of it researching for an essay due on Monday. So far so good. I promise as soon as this essay is done I will finish Song of the Superheroes.

Yesterday was stressful enough said! My documentary on global warming is somewhat complete but the lecturer said it was a good story. Also to clear some confusion Windows Media Maker is not used some other fancy program is, but because this fancy program wasn’t working on the computers it was offered by the lecture to do the editing process for us. So I just had to rely on the production script and various visuals. But now it is done! And it wasn’t as disastrous as I thought it would be well that was until the file with my production script became corrupted and I thought I might have to retype it! I almost pulled my entire hair out. MY ENTIRE HAIR! Luckily I found a way to recover it and now all is well. Then there was a dastardly group assignment, which I do not want to talk about. If you that desperate to hear e-mail me!

Hence to say I am still feeling Finbarpurpleton…and I will for a couple of more days so be careful around me I might be a little be mean. In fact I apologise in advance.

P.S. I’m done uni in five months :( It are makes me sad.

Random Angry Ramblings...FINBARPURPLETON!

I am not currently entering a Finbarpurpleton mood. Now I’ve explained feeling Fidonio, but to feel Finbarpurpleton? That means I am easily angered by stupid things, except I don’t pee on NO DOGS ALLOWED signs, because not only am I not a dog, but that would be just plain weird and disgusting.

Also quite currently I am supposed to be working on my dastardly documentary about global warming I am almost finished filming. I have an interview with some all knowing expert personage at 2 p.m. and I am worried that I won’t be about to film it because
1. need a microphone so it sounds all professional like
2. .Another tape…I only have five minutes left on one of them and
3. I have no idea where I am supposed meet this all knowing expert personage…some wheres on Quay Street or Fitzroy River?

Sounds like a triple combination for disaster! DISASTER! That reminds me I haven’t done voice overs yet or even put the entire thing together. I am doomed. DOOMED! And this is making me angry and agitated. Hence miss evil eyed snappy pants Melissa has been around for the last three days and hence the intertextual reference to Finbarpurpleton. Her claws are out beware!

For randomness sakes here is the acrostic poem for Finbarpurpleton

Furry
Intelligent
Nomad
Alphabetical
Battler
Radical
Pretty
Unique
Random
Powerful
Livid
Extremely
Tense
Ontonagon
Notional

Jo told me yesterday that I seem to have very deep and meaningful dreams, in which my imagination seems to run wild. I haven’t had one dream that I could not use in a story somewhere, the problem is I forget some of them. But I have dreamed entire chapters to superheroes…remember Chapter 45 and Chapter 46…all from the same dream!

On Monday as a form of procrastination I bugged the misogynist with another post by Cuthbert Higgensbottom. Now the poo head is going on about how there is no hate on his site when it’s full of it! Apparently woman are fascists? I think he and Nigel Bottington would get along. I have a plan for Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum. With her awesome power of femininity she will beat Mr. Bottington with a copy of the Female Eunuch at a Sunday brunch, which isn’t quite breakfast and isn’t quite lunch, but has a nice piece of cantaloupe with it…or honey dew melon if you dine at Antonias.

That reminds there seems to be many things that have sparked my interest lately.

1. Honey dew melon I haven’t had any since I was 10! Come to think of it I haven’t had watermelon in a while either.
2. Creationist Science vs. Evolution Science…this fascinates me is it just religious influence or more? I’m I do agree that the Earth is over 4.5 billion years old and there is fossil evidence to prove we were not hanging out with dinosaurs.
3. Global Warming…I think I’ve said my bit enough about this topic.
4. Getting a job…HELP!
5. Narcissus…try explaining this Greek tale to a drunk girl :P She was vain! VAIN! But also drunk…He he drunk people are funny.
6. Finishing my documentary…see above ramblings
7. Misogynists! They make me sad :(
8. Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum she makes me laugh
9. Wondering if in fact Multimedia Guy II does like me…thinking maybe I DO like him back.
10. Where is Amy…the ravened haired one?
11. Should I stay in Australia?

And that’s all I can think of for now.

P.S. Chapter 51 is being written…and ummm….GLOBAL WARMING IS BAD!

The Outside World

Today I finally got a bit done for my documentary about global warming. Phew! I interviewed some one in conservation. For some reason I thought she was a little old lady with a green thumb or a Rambo Greenpeace type with dreads…its interesting how stereotypes can get into your head.

Speaking of global warming I was searching around Google and found this. Apparently this guy, (who I might add is a misogynist) believes women’s vaginas are causing global warming. For some reason it made me laugh.

So I pretended to be a man because lets face how are they are going to tell on the world wide web of invisibleness? My code name: Cuthbert Higgensbottom… and My response was:

It’s too bad you don’t like vaginas. Perhaps you’re jealous that they don’t like you? Or maybe you’re threatened by femininity? Is there any evidence that penis’s don’t cause global warming as well? Seeing as this a global issue that affects us all we should be equal in the blaming of human genitalia. Does this also include vaginas from different animals inhabiting this VAGINA invested planet? Is there a scientific source other than your all knowingness?

I however have another theory:

A. you’re a big ugly and know woman would come near you or

B. Maybe it’s because you’re gay! GAY!

That is all

Cuthbert Higgensbottom

Well aren’t I ingenious and yes I just realised I said know instead of no…hmmm I wonder if that will show off my femaleness? Probably not? I don’t think my vagina is causing global warming. In fact I think that’s the strangest theory I’ve heard in my entire life. I also just realised this is the first time I used VAGINA in my blog or talked about any type of genitalia, but if you read my story you’ll find I used the word quite a bit, especially in the beginning chapters and it wasn’t meant to be sexualised, it was put there mainly for shock value or humours sake even.

So what else have I been up to lately? Hmmm well today I was told by the all knowing Justin ‘I don’t fit into the outside world nor can I exist in it.’ Apparently, like Jo I am suited for Academia, but that’s so not what I want to do! Maybe it’s true and if that’s the case maybe I shouldn’t have been born! This lovely comment was followed by others which stated what I should do with my oh so not fitting into the outside worlds type life, that “I should fuck off and see Australia!” That’s the first time I used the f word too now that I think about it. I have to say this, but I am seriously tired of Justin’s all knowing trying to be inspirational, but failing type speeches. I know he means well and he isn’t a bad person, but it’s annoying.

By the way Chapter 51 is on its way. I plan to work on it this weekend. If I am so inclined to do so, meanwhile why not review a random chapter say Chapter 38 or Chapter 19, maybe even Chapter 27?

P.S. I had my first kiss! But I broked Admiral Ogre’s heart :(

On Moonlight Bay

Yesterday was an entire year and three months since I came to Australia. AN ENTIRE YEAR AND THREE MONTHS!

What do I have to say about my day today 15 months since I left on a plane from -22 degree weather. I did absolutely nothing. NOTHING! I was a bit off with the fairies yesterday. I think I still am.

Lately when I am not vandalising Wikipedia, my new obsession or writing my novel, I often procrastinate, which isn’t a good thing because I have three assignments due in two weeks and they are all worth 50 per cent of my entire mark.

Yesterday rather than work on university work, I watched a musical on television called On Moonlight Bay staring Doris Day and Gordon MacGrae, which was made in 1951. The movie centres on Marjorie "Marjie" Winfield a young girl, in 1917 America. She is tough, strong and independent. She plays baseball and did anything she felt like, but of course that all changes once she meets Bill.

It begins with Marjie and her family moving to a new neighbourhood. When we first see Marjie she is gruff and masculine, which clearly upsets her father because girls shouldn’t be strong, tough, independent and play baseball. It becomes apparent even in the first scenes that her father wants her to marry a good high calibre guy as well as become more feminine

Her road to proper femaleness begins one day when her brother Wesley and his new friend decide to play with a gun, said to be from Jessie James. Marjie was playing baseball with some guys at the time, who obviously at first were reluctant to let her play because of her apparent femininity. However, while playing sees her brother in danger and leaves a base ball. She attempts to stop her brother Wesley and his friend saying you shouldn’t play with guns because they are dangerous. During the struggle Wesley shot down the barn door with the gun, which toppled on William “Bill” Sherman. Bill and am assuming represented the time period took it upon himself to discipline the two boys and Marjie, by taking her over his knee and spanking her, clearly mistaking her for a boy because of her as of yet femininity.

In the next scene Marjie is wearing a very pink party dress and Bill. The mother was wise and kind. She was helping Marjie get ready for her big date. It’s apparent she doesn’t conform to the expected norms of conduct because she opens the door for herself and she walks on the outside of the street. Her mother enforces this by saying “I keep telling her a gentleman always walks on the outside.” Their date revolves around a moonlight boat ride talking about the state of the world. Marjie social awkwardness towards men becomes relevant. When they dance as she keeps stomping on Bills feet.

During the movie Bill a college student at Indiana appears to be a free thinker, which is completely acceptable for him as a man. He announces his belief he doesn’t believe in marriage because it’s slavery for a woman and prison for the man. Saying if a man and a woman love each other they shouldn’t have to rely on social institutions to be committed to each other. It’s interesting to note that this ideal is constantly rejected by the other characters, including Marjie, who does want to marry Bill.

We soon see Marjie rejects her tomboy ways during a kiss when she hides her base ball cap and ball. She falls in love much to her conservative father’s distain, as Bill is not studying to be a lawyer or a doctor, but in English literature, her father rejects the idea that he could be a good husband, because a good thoughtful husband has to be able to support his wife. It becomes even worse when Marjie’s father finds out about Bill’s beliefs about marriage. It is because of this Marjie’s banker conservative strict father keeps pushing on his daughter a good stable, well thought of man named Hubert.

Marjie being so dutifully in love takes dancing lessons so the next time her and Bill meet she can dance wonderfully. Unfortunately a snowballing type fight/accident renders her unable to do so because she sprains her oh so feminine ankle. Unfortunately it is found out that Bill is about to be shipped off to war. However, this still leads to the happy ending where Bill and Marjie finally decide to become married ad her father finally agreeing because he is reminded that he was a young man once too by Marjie’s bratty brother.

I know that university is changing my perception because I could see all the cultural analysis type stuff coming in when I was watching it. Specifically the innocence of the time this movie was being made and emphasis on gender roles. The emphasis of marriage and meeting the right guy is also relevant to day. I could go one about the movie, but I think I’ve said enough. This just proves I think too much. To be honest, I find that I often culturally analyse movies. I actually find it to be rather enjoyable. This annoyed Kate one day after watching Because I Said So, with her and Joan. She said analysing a movie takes the joy out it; movies shouldn’t make you think because it takes away the escapism element. I agree to an extent, but I do like to think about what I watch it makes it more meaningful to me. So I wonder am I meant to be a thinker and writer or a career, work till I die type person.

This goes out to Chris: Sorry I haven’t bee around lately. As you guess I did drop off the face of the earth, Philis made a dent and fell through it a deep dark hole.

Anyways, I know exactly what you’re mean in terms of financial difficulties that is, but I know I am not exactly being proactive about the job situation. Today I had the opportunity to apply Sizzlers, but I was too lazy to ride my bike over there. I should apply online or the next time to apply would be on Tuesday, because that’s what the job add specified.

I’ve also been having some really strange garbled type dreams lately too. Last night or was it the night before I dreamt I made kissy with Officer Octogenarian, not the character the guy I like. It was strange because I was watching my self kiss him and thinking wow it’s really strange to have kissed some one. Then I watch Multimedia Guy II flirt with a rather grotesque girl and thinking who cares I just made kissy with the other guy.

I am also having a lot of end of the world dreams again. I think it’s because I am almost finished here in Rockhampton. It feels like the end. Of course when I start something new I’ll have survivor end of the world dreams about rebuilding as well as alien dreams. Do your dreams about being in Rockhampton represent your connection to home? The first few months I was in Australia I kept dreaming I was back in Canada. I think now it was because I was finally independent on my own and I wasn’t quite ready to let go of home yet. What do you reckon?

Now some very good news!

CHAPTER 50 of Song of the Superheroes is complete! Also because I completely forgot my oh so compulsory entry for Chapter 49…here is the link for it here :P This entire story would be finished five chapters ago if the bloody characters would stop arguing and just get on with it. You’ll see what I mean. I am now formulating Chapter 51 and it should be done next week I hope. Hopefully I didn’t waste my time writing 110 thousand words of nothingness!

P.S. I am a telephone space cadet!

Describing my day. PROCRASTINATION!

Procrastination has still got the better of me…whether it’s playing solitaire or meddling with computer graphics

Here are some examples of my procrastination.

What do you think?

I would add more writing but my brain is on vacation, a sweet blissful vacation, where no one is invited except me.

But if you want some interesting things that I’ve done today…

I applied to teach English in Japan…I really want to go there now for some reason.

My mom wants to come for my graduation because she hasn’t missed a single one yet. Even though there have only been two graduations in my life time!

I’m worried that Carol is mad at me because I haven’t talked to her since February. FEBRUARY! That’s terrible!

Chris and I discussed the use of the word beautiful and the way it’s used particularly when describing a guy. I remember a time when my old flatmate Maria before she moved to a different flat. She would pay me out; sometimes get upset if I used the word beautiful to describe a guy, even if I was talking about Officer Octogenarian in my novel. So my question to you is, can you use the word beautiful to describe a man? Or is it a feminine word and the word handsome be used instead?

That reminds me I am obsessed with my novel! But those who read this blog probably already know that.

P.S. Yes, yes I know Chapter 49 isn’t finished yet….

Fairly, Invisible, Dog, Only, Now Interesting this October.

Today I will start off my blog with some very interesting quotes I found…

“Albert Einstein was asked one day by a friend,
“Do you believe that absolutely everything can be expressed scientifically?”
“Yes it would be possible,” he replied, “but it would make no sense. It would be description without meaning–as if you described a Beethoven symphony as a variation in wave pressure.”
— Ronald W. Clark, Einstein: The Life and Times

To become human one must make room in oneself for the wonders of the universe.
— South American Indian saying

Sorry about the angry blog entry yesterday. I was feeling very “Fidonio”…a mixture of anger and sadness it’s something the character is based on.

For instance in Chapter 38 when Hev-Lady made the attempt to comfort the disparaging big brown dog named Fidonio. He reacted with hostility, saying.
“Leave me alone. I don’t want your sympathy!”
Or when Sarah attempts to give a sobbing Fidonio a hug he reacts moments later with “Stop hugging me. I don’t want your sympathy!”
The one difference is I am not a lonely big brown dog, nor am I forgotten or invisible.

That’s how I’ve been feeling the last couple of days. So the book vs. movie conundrum made me unusually irritated, so I have a depressingly doomed love life. It makes me feel so self centred. I am in a dark angry place and I desperately want out. Luckily I have friends who offer a shovel every now and then so I can dig myself out of this dark angry place.

That reminds me Chapter 48 is done…Chapter 49 is still making me mad, but I’ll try to finish it by tomorrow after I work on some of my assignment that is.

That reminds me…I’m not sure if this sounds silly or not but on Saturday night I hugged Officer Octogenarian at the night club and when he did it felt like time stopped. I’m not sure how to describe that feeling of time stopping, but you know it when it’s happening… The night clubs: It’s the only freaking place I’ve seen him! It’s stupid because he goes to the same university, but I haven’t bumped into him. May I remind you he is not the character from my book, but the actual person I have named after him for anonymities sake.

P.S. Fidonio in case you don’t know stands for: Fairly, Invisible, Dog, Only, Now Interesting this October.

Miss Rant a lot...

Things are making me mad lately!

My story is making me angry. I am the entire author but the characters don’t seem to think so. I spent five hours just trying to make them move out of the planetarium in chapter 48. And now in Chapter 49 they still refuse to leave.

The most annoying thing I’ve been told lately is “You’ll meet the right guy he’ll sweep you off your feet.” I feel like it’s the biggest lie imbedded into people consciousness. Is it Disney or some fanciful advice given to a lonely girl? I sorry but I officially say that I don’t believe in love. I’m becoming celibate. It’s something I’m good at.

And another thing that doesn’t make sense is someone saying they like the movie based on the book better than the book its self when they haven’t even read it. You can’t compare the two if you’ve only seen one. Also how can someone say they appreciate someone’s authoring style but they haven’t read anything by them? This question goes out to Mr. I don’t read books Justin features and his all knowing opinions about Harry Potter and J.K. Rowling. I’m sorry but Justin gets on my nerves sometimes. Why can’t know it alls find something else to base their entire self esteem on? This question goes out to me, myself and I? Because I 'm sure I sounded overtly know it all type cruel about that last statement...

P.S. Sorry if I sounded like a bitch..I'm going through Neptunian puberty!

Procrastination, Nerdiness, Love and Vandalism

Procrastination: To put things off till the last minute. The inevitable enemy towards the uni student. It is something I have become familiar with in my academic university career. For instance rather than work on my essay on the “Civilising Mission” for Technology Communication on Culture. I vandalised Wikipedia by spreading the word about Irish Evil and played spider solitaire on my computer. I made plays list for Song of the Superhero characters Philis and Officer Octogenarian. Some song choices are based on the name, others are based on lyrical content and some are pure randomness.

Philis Philmore – Philis’ FAT music

1. Who let the cows out – Weird Al Yankovich
2. Eat it - Weird Al Yankovich
3. Fat - Weird Al Yankovich
4. Pink Triangle – Weezer
5. Boom, Boom, Boom – The Vega Boys
6. Addicted – Simple Plan
7. I Am A Rock – Simon and Garfunkle
8. Potato girl – Our Lady Peace
9. Man eater – Nelly Furtado
10. Explode – Nelly Furtado
11. The Hungry Years – Neil Sedaka
12. The Other Side of Me – Neil Sedaka
13. Milkshake- Kellis
14. He Ain’t Heavy…He’s My Brother – The Hollies
15. I Can’t Tell the Bottom From the Top – The Hollies
16. Yummy – Gwen Stefani
17. Shakin’ All Over – The Guess Who
18. Hungry Like A Wolf – Duran Duran
19. Rave On – Buddy Holly
20. Rock This Party – Bob Sinclair.

Officer Octogenarian – Beautiful Me

1. Beautiful life – Guy Sebastian
2. My Beautiful friend – Guy Sebastian
3. Beautiful Disaster – Kelly Clarkson
4. Beautiful You – Neil Sedaka
5. Beautiful Day – U2
6. Beautiful Liar – Beyonce and Shakira
7. Celebrity – Barenaked Ladies
8. Glamorous – Fergie
9. Fergalicious – Fergie
10. Brown Eyed Handsome Man – Chuck Berry
11. Love to Love you Baby – Donna Summer
12. Love Me- Buddy Holly
13. This Fire – Franz Ferdinand
14. Glamour Boy – The Guess Who
15. Star Baby – The Guess Who
16. Dancin’ Fool – The Guess Who
17. Just One Look – The Hollies
18. Let Me Entertain You –Robbie Williams
19. Star of All the Planets – Ryan Malcolm
20. Absolutely Perfect – Ryan Malcolm
21. Conventioneers – Barenaked Ladies
22. Sell, Sell, Sell – Barenaked Ladies

Painstakingly hilarious aren’t it? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Then again if it isn’t procrastination that is getting me it is matters of the heart…

Love a word or perhaps a feeling that is on my mind lately.

As for love in the romantic sense, I am under the belief from past unlucky experiences you don’t choose who you like or love it just happens. I’ve never been in love but I have been seriously in like, but is it just physical attraction or something more? I think these things happen for a reason.

For instance, I recently have begun a minor infatuation with a boy at uni who I will call Multimedia Guy II (to allow for anonymity.) Jo says we are very similar. We have the same sense of humour. I can make a smart ass like comment and he will completely understand it and react with a smart ass comment of his own. We both like to read and we like science fiction. Today we had a D and M about Stargate, Harry Potter and Star Wars. It’s a fact were both NERD nerdy retarded weird people. I wonder if he likes me back because he goes out of his way to talk to me and after class today he walked with me to the bus stop.

However, something happened on Saturday night that makes question the logic of the matters of the heart. I met Officer Octogenarian. Well not physically as he doesn’t actually exist seeing as I created him in a strange garbled over imaginative story. He is more of a metaphor of the guy of any girl’s dreams, which is partly what the character is based on. He almost looks like Officer Octogenarian. He has the black curly hair and brown eyes. He isn’t the most beautiful boy in the world, but there was just something about him that made me like him. I can’t explain it. I told Amy about him and she said that I have never talked about a guy like him before.

More proof of my procrastination a blog entry from my alter ego :P

Dear blogosphere of hopefully intelligent humans:

Today my mom Hevlynn not Hev-Lady explained to me one of the many aspects of coming into Neptunian womanhood. That’s right I am experiencing “Neptunian puberty.” So now I look forward to turning obscenely blue when I am angry, developing outer rings of star dust around my waste to symbolise fertility and enhancement to my brain melting catacleptic powers.

In fact the last factor is full on. During a dinner party at Princess Jo’s about a week ago, I simply explained how Fergus uses of a blender as well as the mechanics and the invention of this useful device to Officer Beautiful Face…a.k.a. Oliver. Moments later he was rolling on the floor in complete agony. At first I thought it was because of Fergus’s name, but then I realised I had accidentally given him a brain melting attack and I wasn’t even trying to be a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl know it all.

I would also like to point out to certain villains masquerading as heroes to desist in calling my friend Philis Fattybumstockings.

Now I shall share with you music that I am listening to as of the moment.

My NERD nerdy retarded play list….

1. White & Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovick
2. Star Trek Rhapsody – Weird Al Yankovick
3. Too Little Too Late – Barenaked Ladies
4. In Repair – Our Lady Peace
5. Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles
6. Space Rock – Weezer
7. Mr. Roboto – Styx
8. Solitaire – Neil Sedaka
9. Its All Been Done – Barenaked Ladies
10. Grace Kelly - Mika
11. 5th Symphony – Ludwig van Beethoven
12. Walk Like an Egyptian – The Bangles
13. Intergalactic –The Beastie Boys
14. Love Me Or Hate Me – Lady Sovereign
15. Buddy Holly – Weezer
16. That’ll Be The Day – Buddy Holly
17. Why Bother? – Weezer
18. When Doves Cry – Prince
19. Kryptonite – Three Doors Down

~ Ashleigh D3 McGlonagick.

P.S. I asked out a NERD nerdy retarded weird boy!

My Compulsory Entry

I spent most of the day attempting to write at least two chapters to Song of the Superheroes….and I have good news!

*Drum roll*

Chapter 46 and Chapter 47 are now ready for your viewing pleasure.

Apparently whenever I write a chapter for my story I am required to write a blog entry.

So here it is…Insert fascinating thought or insight here.

THE END!

Happy now :P

P.S. Being and Irish Nerd is better than being a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl.

I am happy and confounded!

“God is the dad and he is like a parrot.”

“The sun warms all living beings like the sun.”

By reading those last two phrases its apparent they make no sense. But they made an audible appearance in another confounding dream last night. Those two sentences were uttered when some kids read an online Bible? A Bible that is made so its “easier” to understand.

And how did it get to this point that I read this online Bible?

It was near the end of the world. Why it was near and not the end I do not know.

I was talking with my step dad in my dream, (who is a real poo head by the way.) We were discussing the end of the world. I was a young child and I was crying because I wasn’t ready for it and I was worried Jesus would leave me behind. He then suggested the Bible made for kids.

Then as I was reading it went black, the earth was burning, fire was every where. But I wasn’t scared. I was a teenager again. Then a comical cartoon looking white spider wearing a green top hat was chasing me and trying to kill me. I some how knew I was pregnant and the spider wanted to transplant his DNA into it so it could make mutant spider people. But I tricked it and the spider fell down a gap in the ground and died.

Soon after it became winter and I was standing in the middle of a frozen lake. A handsome man came to save me riding a white elephant. I then realised that this man was my husband. Then the ice began to crack and fell in.

Was that strange or what?

On Saturday night Chris, Joan and I went out clubbing. It was fun. I however under a sugar and caffeine high decided to initiate “The Philis Dance.” The floor was scarce so my dance was very much seen by others and soon after I became the centre of attention and not in a so exactly positive away a negative making fun of type way. I became very self conscious. Luckily the self conscious feeling subsided once the floor became crowed and I decided to stop caring what complete drunken strangers think.

I am happy today because I am going to attempt to make my favourite dish. Green bean casserole, which consists of canned green beans, mushroom soup and plain potato chips. I hope I remember how to make it.

P.S. Whoo! Fat Bandit! I mean boo Fat Bandit! I’M FAT!

Irish Evil the sarcastic approach!

The coolest Cartoon I’ve seen in a while.

It relates to my assignment in Communication in the Digital Age, which I swear has driven me to the end of insanity and back! I’ve had enough of Wikipedia. I am almost tempted to rage Irish Evil upon many article. He he he….

Go the insanity! Snaps for madness! Jo and I have agreed to go mad together.

I’m in a very sarcastic mood.

I know when I have enough of assignments when I write the following for a television journalism assessment.

“The environmental person of all knowing expertness believes otherwise.”

Imagine if my tutors Bridget or Bruce whose names coincidentally begin with B and have very journalistic sounding names read that.

It amuses me for some reason and I am tempted to actually leave in the script.

You see my script is about global warming. Yes, yes I know global warming. Melissa is obsessed with global warming, snaps for Melissa the all knowing expert of global warmingness.

And I know I’m obsessed with global warming because I keep having nightmares about sea levels rising and drowning in a massively large ocean.

And by the end of writing this every so sarcastical entry I am finished my assignments. Yay! Although it’s Friday the 13 and it’s a very unlucky day to do assignments. That’s if you believe in superstitious mumble jumble.

Now for a brief interlude to the assignment madness…I plan to finish Superheroes during the week break. Yay! So stay tuned for a fantastical conclusion.

P.S. Whoever invented TV journalism is a poo head for making poor students work so hard and digital communication has eroded humanities ability to talk face to face. Mwhahahahahahhahhahahahha

Humanity Vs. Enviromentalism

Recently I’ve been told that I’ve gone on an environmental kick. That’s true!

Then there have been those who said I’m anti human and anti babies NOT true!

I guess that’s what I get for reading a chapter titled Go Forth and Multiply…in David Suzuki’s book It’s a Matter Of Our Survival. Some scientists and anti-poverty groups suggest abortion could be used to control the overpopulation problem on earth in third world countries, that because of the over population, these people are in poverty. It goes on to say that encouraging woman to have babies in Western countries through financial incentives just furthers the problem of overpopulation which drains our resources.

Suzuki says three North American children are just as deadly to the environment as 103 Bangladeshi children. However, I don’t think this isn’t just a matter of environmental concerns but cultural and societal differences. No where in this chapter does it mention the aging baby boomers or how maybe corrupt governments hold a card in the poverty dilemma as well.

I being silly, read this near Joan who desperately wants a baby, for reasons still unbeknownst to me. Then I was insensitive and said I agreed with some of the points, like overpopulation being bad. Silly me I forgot about Jo’s 16 year plan to have four kids. I feel terrible because it isn’t my place to judge who has babies and who doesn’t. I wonder if the environmentalists consider the fact that if we stop having kids the human race will end. Humanity and the environment go hand in hand but it seems that they are also opposing forces. It’s a never ending conundrum.

P.S. Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum is expecting her first litter of children….

Gods Eye

A couple nights ago I had a truly confounding dream.

I was in a fancy 19th century living room with lush red carpets and delicately engraved artistic walls. Joan was following me around.

I saw a shelf it had a book on it. It was a magazine that profiled me as an author. I read about how my current novel Song of the Superheroes was number 3 on the best sellers list. It mentioned the sequel and other works of brilliant non-fiction novels I had written about humanity and the environment. I tried to get an idea of what it said exactly but my eyes kept drooping as if I were tired and I couldn’t open them. I would then try to read it again and the same thing would happen before I could finish the paragraph. I do remember reading about how I mentioned in the article how my friends in Australia were the most inspirational and how much I missed them and I can’t wait to come back and visit.

So I told Joan in my dream that I thought this was a divine message and she replied that it was mostly likely from the underworld. Then suddenly I saw a giant eye peering at me through the ceiling. It was God’s eye. He called my name several times. It felt an almighty presence and I knew it was God. God then said to me. “Wake up! Now! Now! Now!”

When I woke up again I was in the same living room and Joan was shouting the same thing at me repeatedly. But this time she had turned into Lisa Simpson. I then saw a fatter version of her in a purple yelling at someone on the couch. I am not sure who it is.

I woke up again in my room and I picked up a baby. It was wrapped in a purple blanket and I shouted at it “Wake up! Now! Now! Now!” I then became the baby and I saw my eye looking at me.

Then if that wasn’t strange enough I was then in the Song of the Superheroes universe and Officer Octogenarian was sleeping in the front seat of the police car and Mrs. Lachlan's Mum in the back seat yelled at him to: “Wake up! Now! Now! Now! He then shot a hole in the roof because she had startled him. Then oddly enough there was a laugh track like in the sitcoms, and mysteriously though the hole in the police car was God’s eye again looking at me.

It are was strange. I wonder what it means.

Global Warming: Its a Matter of Our Survival

From reading Amy’s blog, I see she has a strong passion for indigenous rights. And although it’s hard to agree with everything said, I have respect for her. We need people to campaign and take an interest in important issues in this world.

As for me, I have a growing interest in environmental issues, particularly global warming.
Greenpeace, environmentalists, conservationists, preservationists are groups of people I have great respect for. They might be seen as crazy anti-human, anti-progress tree hugging weirdoes. They tend to go to extremes, but someone has to be brave enough do it. One may say I am turning into a greenie. Of course I’m not going to tie myself to tree or join an anti whaling expedition, but I do agree the planet is dying and it needs my help even if I am just one person.

Global warming is an issue that has made its way into the news on frequent basis. Scientists warn its global issue that affects the lives of everyone and everything who call Earth their home.

Canadian Environmentalist and geneticist David Suzuki in his book It’s a Matter of our Survival, says in the world is not infinite as we may believe, but it is actually finite. Humanity has this ideal that they can fix nature and take more than it gives back believing the Earth will replenish itself magically. When really were causing more harm than good. Nothing in our evolutionary experience or social conditions prepares us for the limits of a finite world.

Suzuki compares global warming to the phenomenon biologists call “boiled frog syndrome.” Basically if they put a frog in a pot of water and gradually increase the temperature of the water from 20 degrees C to 30 degrees to 40 degrees to 90 degrees, the frog would sit there unaffected, but when the water boils at 100 degrees, the frog would die. Environmentalists and scientists often use this example as a metaphor for the human situation. We are literally heating up the world with out recognizing the danger. Scientists’ warnings go unheeded. By seeing the world as infinite rather than finite we may not be aware that our local actions have global consequences.

Because the frog has no evolutionary experience with boiling water he is unable to see it as dangerous. Just like the boiled frog our senses are not attuned to the warnings of imminent danger. We don’t feel the acidy of the rain, feel the ultra violet radiation seeping through the ozone hole, taste the toxins in our food and water, or feel the heat of global warming. Just like the frog we feel the heat as gradual, therefore endurable.

Scientists constantly warn us that a five degree rise in temperature will mean the end of life on this planet as we know it. Imagine a world of famine, disease, rising sea levels, severe storms. It is not a science fiction movie, but a reality. It’s already happening and it might too late. We all share the same air, the same ocean the same home, yet we don’t seem to understand the dangers of what we are doing.

The plight of this situation may also scare others who feel there is nothing we can do to stop what is happening, but the truth is there is. Suzuki says if we start locally it works globally. Ideally if we all do something small it becomes bigger.

For me I recycle when I can and even rescue cans, bottles thrown into the rubbish bin my flatmates. They tend to think I’m a bit strange because of it. My mom composts green waste for her plants. If you have any clothes, or items you need or like anymore you can donate to the local second hand shop or sell it at garage sale. My grandma always said that “some else’s junk is another’s treasure.” It uses more energy to make something new. Conserve energy! Why have your computer or your TV on all day if you’re not going to use or watch it? Walk to the corner store instead of driving up the street. Take public transit if applicable. It’s your choice, but I believe it’s also your responsibility as a citizen of planet Earth.

Global Warming is an issue that is under constant debate. Whether you believe it is happening or not, it wouldn’t hurt to take care of the home we live and breathe of. I am under the belief that although human rights are immensely important, so is the environment. The Earth is like an island and if we deplete the elements that sustain us there is no human rights to fight for because humanity will extinct. Remember extinct is forever there is no going back.

P.S. This just in: Fergaria-Finbarton’s neighbouring island country Ferbaria-Purpleraria has just been covered in water due to rising sea levels and a severest most terrible cyclone every recorded.

No Dogs Allowed!

“Every human body has its optimum weight and contour, which only health and efficiency can establish. Whenever we treat women’s bodies as aesthetic objects without function we deform them and their owners.”

~Germaine Greer: The Female Eunuch.

I found that above quote interesting. It makes sense to me for some reason. When I read it, it jumped out to me among the garbled words that lay before me. Yes I’m reading the Female Eunuch. It’s strange.

I’m in a ranting type mood…so I apologise in advance if this blog entry sounds mean or whiny. I however won’t apologise for how I feel.

I’ve encountered some bad luck…

My new job ceased to exist after only 3 ½ hours. It made me mad on so many levels…Apparently according to the all knowing manager and his experience of all knowingness about the service station industry, I wasn’t suited for the job and it was better if I was told sooner than later. Rather than making me wait till the shift was over. I am not even being paid for it. Its one of the moments were I wish would have told the manager to go wank off and demand to be paid for my time. Even the enormous bowl of spaghetti I made didn’t quench my anger.

Today I was dragged around with my flatmate Maria. I don’t think she likes to be alone. I’m the exact opposite.

Here is a list off all the places we went for four long wasted hours.

1. Cleopatra's Beauty Salon
2. Wellness centre. Took her forever to find this place.
3. The University
4. Back to Cleopatra’s
5. A Tattoo and piercing shop
6. An adult shop. (It’s not anything X-rated.)
7. Diva- girly jewellery shop
8. Kebab shop
9. Angus & Robertson Bookstore
10. Another wellness gym type centre.
11. Subway
12. The Heath food store at Shopping Fair
13. Australia Country Living
14. A Pet store.

This whole entire day was a waste of my time. I wish I never went.

If that wasn’t bad enough, the pet store made me depressingly sad. I saw two puppies that looked exactly like my old dogs Shelby and Heidi. The little puppies were in a small dingy cage and looked so lonely and sad. I was tempted to pay for both of them just to get them out of there. I hope some nice people come to rescue them soon. Maria didn’t like them. Perhaps they weren’t fashionable enough?

Maria and her quest for a dog a strange interesting story indeed. Maria wants a dog because according to her she needs companionship.

She once had a cute golden puppy named Honey for about a day and a half at our flat. She ignored the fact that she couldn’t have one. It’s in plain English in the renters’ agreement NO DOGS ALLOWED. A depressing statement, which would anger a certain big brown dog named Finbarpurpleton. And perhaps his brother FERGUS!

She then coming to her senses, realising she couldn’t have her own way, tried but with no avail to find someone who would take care of it for her. She then gave it away to a pet shop. Then she blamed her sadness of losing the dog on Jo and me. The nerve of her!

Sadly, more like ironically, as is usually the case, she found someone after who could take care of her dog? However, new people attracted to the dog’s beautifulness, bought Honey from the pet store. Now Maria is mad because she couldn’t get her puppy back and she paid $50. Oh poor her. The world does not revolve around her.

DUH! If I was the new owners I wouldn’t give her back. It’s her own damn fault. I find those actions entirely selfish. She could have gotten Tarynn and me in trouble with management. Not only that, I was under suspicion that her puppy was a fashion accessory and not a flipping pet…THE END, which is probably why the cute sad dirty lonely puppies I saw today weren’t even considered.

PHEW! I’m done!

And now for some house keeping:

Note to my friends who keep asking me about what were in the secret files Sarah found in Chapter 45. I said what they were. If you read to almost the very end you’ll read this.

“… a folder with secret love letters to Paris Teddington, travel plans to the outer reaches of the solar system, a deadly virus, parasites and confidential files from the superhero agency, the police department and both Bamboozle Times and Bamboozle Chronicle Herald.”

I checked my story when I was asked and indeed I wrote what these secret files were. Read the chapter again if you don’t believe me.

P.S. I’ll carry your blender!

Attending the unattended...my blog

Someone keeps asking about my blog, namely a Princess Jo.

Why?

Is it because I’m interesting?

No it’s merely the fact that according the wise princess that I and many of our blogging friends have neglected our blogs. But then again if PJ is really interested to know my insights she is one of the friends that have the advantage of face to face communication.

My heads been in other places lately…In fact my head is full of thoughts that could be written out. I go through these phases where my head is so crammed full of questions and musings it hard to concentrate.

So here are the top five things I’ve been thinking about, in no particular order or importance.

Writing
I was reading my text book for Technology Communication and Culture where I read something quite brilliant. Scholar Andrew Robinson wrote that writing is among the greatest inventions in human history, because it made history possible. He also notes that many people don’t stop to think about how they write or how they learnt it.

Also I’ve finally managed to write Chapter 45 of my story. Not to mention I keep thinking about other stories, as well as assignments I should be writing. Because they are due Week 6!

Ghosts and the paranormal.
It’s actually something that quite interests me. I am not so sure I believe in the paranormal but I believe in the unexplained. That perhaps there is a reason for it.
Is my house haunted? Jo thinks so…I kind of wonder, seeing as strange things have gone missing, but it turned out to be something else, which I don’t think I should go into at the moment.

Getting a job
This thought has been on my mind for months. I finally have a job. It’s at Caltex as a kitchen hand. I start Monday at 6 a.m. Hopefully things work out.

Journalism
One of my classes I have undertook this term has been Television Journalism. I’ve been thinking about television in the sense that it’s different from newspapers. It’s helped me realise that, although very interesting, I don’t want to work in that area of journalism.

Dream interpretation.
I and many of my friends and flatmates have had some odd dreams lately. It makes me wonder why people dream certain things and why. I often to go to Dream Moods and visit the dream dictionary, but sometimes it still don’t make sense.

P.S. Red cordial just add water!

My defining motto

“A writer writes always.”

It’s a favourite quote of mine from the movie Throw Mama off the Train starring Billy Crystal and Danny DeVito. Its become my motto as a writer.

A few months ago when I was first embarking on my novel writing journey, I suddenly realised this isn’t just another fanciful short story its going to be something big.

To describe the secret of novel writing basics is too complicated to tell for some reason. Perhaps it’s because I believe every writer is different and has their own way of writing their masterpieces.

Writing sadly can be an egotistical thing. I think it’s the one craft or art form that doesn’t quite mix with criticism. Perhaps it’s because it’s something that comes from inside oneself, from their heart. It’s a part of the writer. No one likes to be told they can’t write.

Criticism is different than a critique. A critique if properly told or written can be a good thing. It lets the writer know what they are doing well and what can be improved upon. Writing is the one thing that can always be improved. It is constantly a learning process. Its good to listen to what others have to say.

So instead of telling you how to write, I’ll share with you some tips I have learnt through my writerly experiences.

When going to college back in Canada my journalism instructor told the class that as a writer you should write for the ears and not the eyes. He didn’t mean how it sounds when being broadcast on TV or radio, but it’s how it sounds when you read it silently to yourself. Does it flow fluently? Can you read it easily and enjoyably?

Another tip I learnt when writing is to show not tell. When possible that is. It’s far more effective to be shown a character acting eccentric or evil than being told they are eccentric or evil. It’s also a clever to write in scenes because it shows what the characters and his/her environment is like and sets the mood for the story.

Cliques = death. Avoid them. Here is a list of cliques to give you an idea of what I mean. Originality and cleverness are key ingredients. No one wants to read recycled garble.

These sites had some good advice as well.

Advice on Novel Writing: http://www.steampunk.com/sfch/writing/ckilian/

How to Write a Novel: http://www.spacejock.com.au/WriteANovel.html

What not to do: http://secretgeek.net/nonwriter.asp

How to write a novel in 100 days or less: http://peacecorpswriters.org/pages/depts/resources/resour_writers/100daysbook/bk100da.html

Oh yes Chapter 44 is ready for your reading pleasure. Stay tuned for Chapter 45.

P.S. Princess Jo is a dinner party expert.

Things that make me laugh or mad depending on how you read this entry

Chapter 43 is now finished. I have started Chapter 44…. It’s on its way slowly…

I there has ever been a word, phrase or name that makes one laugh, mine has to be the classic line from Terminator.

“Come with me if you want to live!”

I was watching Terminator Friday night and once I heard the line uttered by the protagonist Kyle Reese, played by Michael Biehn I burst out laughing. I have no explanation of why I think it’s so funny I just do. Maybe it’s like Chris and his unexplained giggling due to a certain name.

FERGUS!

Ah yes the guy I mentioned from New Zealand a few entries ago. I probably should have mentioned, but forgot. He is an old man married with a kid and I was merely sitting at the pool writing after a swim having a political and philosophical discussion. So certain people hoping a romantically type story. Don’t expect it. I’ve decide to become a journalist nun. THE END! I wish people would stop hinting at a potential love interest every time I mention a guy. It seriously annoys me. No offence to my family or friends, but STOP IT! That’s my rant for the day.

I might also add that I judged my new flatmates Tarryn and Maria just a tad to quickly. It’s slowly getting better I’m not ruling out a lifelong friendship.

Despite a funny light bulb incident, more like bizarre occurrence. Some how when Tarryn changed the light bulb just above the hallway upstairs it fell out of the socket and smashed all over the place. I watched her change it and everything. So how many uni students does it take to change a light bulb? Five! When Tarryn’s friends come over they offered their assistance as many good friends would. It was funny watching them inspect the light socket and such. You’d have to be there. Don’t worry I’m not ruling out stupidity.

P.S. Why is the sky blue?

Meet Ashleigh McGlonagkic: A nerd NERDY retarded weird girl.

This entry will be all about strangeness….How a sudden real life moment, dream or people can inspire a story… Chapter 43…is almost done. I promise!

Never mind I’ll turn over my blog to my alter ego Ashleigh McGlonagkic seeing as it was brought to my attention that she is not a fully developed character as the others in my book. I thought perhaps a blog entry on her would be insightful. Actually it was something Amy said in her review, that Ashleigh is a prominent character in the way that the other characters feed off of her. I know what she meant but I am not sure how to describe it.

So here it is…introducing the nerdy one.

Dear blogosphere of hopefully intelligent humans:

I am Ashleigh “Ash-Lady” D3 McGlonagkick. As most of you may all ready know I am a former Neptunian science droid from Neptune’s inner core. I’ll make it clear now that my family and I have legal Fergarian citizenship. So all you wanksters out there who keep trying to have my Mom, Grandma and brother and I deported…you better shut your pieholes!

The strangest thing someone has said to me recently, since moving to Bamboozle would have to be Nigel Bottington. Philis usually takes the cake on random eccentricities (more like eats the cake) but Nigel is another exception.

On February 22 I received news about myself I never even knew. Nigel told me during an interview as a potential photojournalist for Bamboozle Times, that in there’s a statue of me in Quebec Canada, where everyone celebrates Ashleigh Day?

Read Below:

Nigel: I didn't know they had a statue of you in Quebec!!
Me: What?
Nigel: There is a big statue of you in Quebec made of marble and gold.
Me: As if!
Nigel: And February 9th is National Ashliegh McGlonagkic Day and everyone has to wear homemade Rottweiler hats. And in workplaces, it's a competition and the person with the coolest hat gets a lock of your hair as a prize!
Me: Yeah right! Do they read from the sacred Ashliegh McGlonagkic text?
Nigel: Absolutely! Every Sunday, there is a big meeting in the place where your statue is and they prey for you to come back.
Me: My ass they do? I never heard of this so called celebration.
Nigel: That's because it are in Toronto. When was the last time you were in Toronto?
Me: I was 11 the last time I was in Toronto. Also Toronto is in the province of Ontario a completely different province to Quebec.
Nigel: I See? It uh... was only started a few years ago.
Me: Oh really...
Nigel: Yes…

Recently before applying to Bamboozle Times my good friend and me Philis Philmore a.k.a. the Fat Complainer used to work at a sanatorium in which we cared for frail pregnant old lady men. After we were fired for a indiscretion, no doubt caused by Philis, we each applied for numerous jobs as waitresses, astrophysicists, marine biologists, ice cream makers and coffee specialists.

This brings me to my next point. I am tired of is Philis constantly calling me a nerd NERDY retarded weird girl. She says it so much I keep looking in the mirror before I go to bed and reiterate the phrase over and over again.

I would also like to write some random fascinating fact for you all to read but I’m afraid that the computer might explode and the readers mind will implode causing them to collapse into a heap.

Thanks for you short span of attention,

Ashleigh

My new look! Its classy and sassy

My new haircut!

It makes me feel beautiful

Sophisticated!

I give it a 10 out of 10

That pretty much sums up the last couple of days.

That pretty much sums up the last couple of days. Oh yes the random photo shoot by Joan. These are just some of many. My original pictures I tried to take….lets just say I’m better at talking pictures of other people. As for Joan, she too has photogenic skills. Snaps for Joan!

Joan says it looks like a 1920s girl type of cut. I realised strangely enough that my hair contributes to a fraction of my identity. A small fraction.

A couple of nights ago I had this bizarre dream staring Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum and Officer Octogenarian. I thought perhaps I could add it to superheroes, but I think it stands out all on its own. You can read it here.

Don’t worry, Chapter 43 is being written and it is NOT up yet. So if you start e-mailing it saying you can’t find it…that’s probably because I haven’t posted it yet.

Apples vs. Oranges

A random question has been in my mind all day, is there away to ask someone to turn the music down with out sounding like an irate pregnant old lady man?

Want to know what a pregnant old lady man is? Read my story.
Today I had the most hilarious conversation with my flatmate Tarryn at the pool.

Tarryn: Have you ever been to America?
Me: I’ve been to Alaska.
Tarryn: So Canada is on top of America right?
Me: Ummm…yes? Both are on the same continent. North America.
Me thinking: Hello? Of course it is.
Tarryn: So its part of the same county?
Me thinking: Huh?
Me: (somewhat confused) Ummm… no they’re separate countries. They share the continent North America.
Tarryn: So they’re separate countries?
Me: Yes…
Tarryn: Oh OK.
Me thinking: (somewhat judgementally) IDIOT!

And its time for me to have a good laugh to myself thinking back to this hilarious anecdotal situation.

PHEW!

I’m done.

So what else happened today? I spent a good deal of time in the pool because Tarryn invited me to swim so I thought why not. I was dealing with writers block at the time so I thought perhaps a good swim would clear my mind. I ended up talking to this really smart guy from New Zealand. I can't remember his name it begins with a K and his half Maori. We had the most interesting conversation. Now for some reason I badly want to go to New Zealand.

We mainly talked about the environment. I believe in human rights, but I think environmental protection should come first or at least be at par with the importance of it. Because if there is no environment to sustain us then we die and there is no human rights to fight for or protect. I believe humanity and the environment go hand in hand.

Which now brings me to the point of this entry…Today, the silly conversation, the deep thoughts about environmental issues has made me realise how different I am from my current flatmates.

My flatmates are the complete opposite of me. They are oranges and I am apples. They like a good glass of wine…I like a good glass of water. They like to party. I like to study. They spend their time worrying about boys and hair. I spend my time thinking about intellectually stimulating ideas and writing.

I am sure if I tried and intellectual conversation with them their brain might implode from because the unused electrons wouldn’t be able to cope with it. They wouldn’t understand any of my witty jokes if one came as presented itself right in front of their pretty face. And yes I’ve stereotyped them, filed them in a box called oranges, placed myself in a box called apples and judged them. They are so different to me I find it hard to bond with or understand them. It’s a sad fact but I feel like an outsider.

P.S. The sunflowers know all!

The most beautiful boy in the world?

So how was my day today? Despite the constant noise from my flatmates limited pop culture musical stereo. She plays the same five songs over and over again. I was awoken at 8:45 a.m. this morning by it. I felt annoyed and I was tired. I was so mad I wanted to tell her to turn it down or I’ll punch her in the face, but I’m no violent type.

Today has been creative. Chapter 42 is now available for reading.

Once I had a strange dream…

Chris, Kate, Amy and I were making my book Song of the Superheroes into a movie. Of course this was during the time Chris suggested it.

We each were going to play the main characters of course, but we need Officer Octogenarian, the most beautiful boy in the entire world. Many actors came to mind during this dream. In this dream because I was Ashleigh otherwise known as Ultra Nerd I could fly so while my friends drove down a city road in a white convertible listening to killer tunes. I flew above them in serenity.

Guy Sebastian the future Officer Octogenarian? I'm not so sure about this one.

It was decide that Officer Octogenarian would be played by Guy Sebastian. This I have no idea why. So my friends and I sent out to find Guy to personally ask him to be in our film version. Chris and Kate went else where why Amy and I went opposite directions as well.

Near the end of the dream I found Guy at a friendly house somewhere in the suburbs. For some reason in the dream a legion of girls were at his house, furthering our reasoning he should be the beautiful officer. I knocked on his door and when I asked if he would like to be in our film. He glared at me and slammed the door in my face.

This dream has brought me to this very question what does Officer Oliver Octogenarian look like? Its clear to me the Officer Octogenarian has become a complex character and is more than just a beautiful man and here is why.

He is first introduced in Chapter 5. According to Officer Octogenarian himself he is a young robust but “a young robust 23-year-old rugby-playing male.” He believes he is the most beautiful man to grace the entire planet.

Inspector Cathy Such And Such (Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum) his police partner often accuses him of being Carly Simon like. (Think the song “You’re So Vain.) Fergus, Inspector Such And Such’s husband believes Cathy would be keen on making sweet, sweet love to the beautiful officer, but as Cathy puts it. “He is not attracted to her femininity.” – Nigel Bottington is, as well as many others…

This quote pretty much sums up what he looks like and the love interest the main character Sarah Evans develops.

"Then she (Sarah) sees him. The most beautiful boy she has ever seen in her entire life He has brown eyes, which were dark and mysterious, coffee coloured skin, berry coloured lips and a head of stunning black curly hair. Oooh his smile she thinks. She almost faints from eating her hair."

Her love at first is based looks. A love at first sight type deal, but clearly this develops to more of a personal level near the end. She becomes a love sick puppy. He is the man she wants to marry and have babies with and she often imagines stuff about him some of it X-rated some of it not. But even though she really likes him his certain characteristics annoy her. Not to mentions she stays true to herself.

He is sought after romantically or sadly probably just physically by many female and male characters, due to his beauty.

One of which is Norma Normington, Sports Editor of Bamboozle Times upon their first meeting she says “he are GORGEOUS!” and often propositions him to make sweet, sweet love to her through out the story. He repeatedly declines in a not so thoughtful manner. It should be noted now that he can only make sweet love as sweet, sweet love is too much work for him.

Another is Nigel Bottington Editor in Chief of Bamboozle Times said he is a, “very good looking 23-year-old robust rugby-playing male.” He later propositions him, admitting he is attracted to the beautiful officer. He has also said ‘Officer Octogenarian makes gay boys exceptionally happy, woman week in the knees and heterosexual males question their sexuality or become really, really jealous?”

Fellow Bamboozle police woman, Officer Rosie Cheeks attempts to steal a kiss from him when he had fallen due to a brain melting attack by Ultra Nerd.

Ashleigh McGlonagkic (Ultra Nerd) the most sensible character even considers the idea of making sweet, sweet love to him in the early chapters, but she becomes one of the characters to prejudice him because of his beauty in an almost jealous type of way. Maybe because she secretly knows she could never have someone so beautiful. Her best friend Philis Philmore faints from looking at his beautifulness. More about her later…

Sports reporter Mike Queensburry pointed out to fellow reporter Paul McNewberrys (who was found out to be bisexual) is attracted to the beautiful officer. Paul responded by saying everyone is attracted to him.

Although Officer Octogenarian is extremely gorgeous, he is discriminated for being the way he is. His colleagues often tell him to be a model or a movie star something he’d be good at because of his physical appearance, but he perseveres as a police officer something that hasn’t been said why as of yet. He wants to be smarter and use his brain and longs to be accepted for his insides, the person he really is. The only person who seems to know the real him is his sister Princess Jo and possibly Sarah.

He is also attracted to two women through out the story Sarah Evans and Philis Philmore. It’s known to the readers that Sarah loves him back, but its unknown if Philis does. She constantly rejects him saying it’s bestially and he wouldn’t like her because she is fat. Little does she know Officer Octogenarian has a fetish for heavyset girls and he has stuck up her several times when people have said she was fat. And upon first meeting her thought her to be the most beautiful fat girl he had ever seen. It hasn’t been decided which girl he will chose although unfortunately it seems to be in Sarah’s favour. I want him to choose Philis because she is the underdog.

And what is a girl’s idea of the most beautiful man? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Officer Octogenarian in my story represents this world’s constant longing for beauty.

Stay tuned for more character profiles and blog entries.

P.S. When vacationing on Mars near Mount Olympus always wear a helmet

Oh the Anticlimactic writing possibilites

So how do you like my new blog layout?

My head at the moment is filled with many questions. I suppose you could say that this is a rather random entry as I really have no theme in mind.

What is there to say about today? Not much…It was warm. I was still sick. I wrote Chapter 42 of my story today, but it has yet to be typed up. It is sitting safely written inside my notebook.

Ah my notebook, my main tool for the endless writing possibilities, random inquires and memories. I have 10 notebooks I have written in since I was 17. Six of them are packed away in Canada. Four of which I have filled up since being here in Australia.

Then of course there’s pens. I don’t use pencils because they smudge and I get greyness on the sides of my hands as it rests on the note book. And I don’t like pens because the same thing happens with the pen ink. I think my mom was worried at one point that I may unwittingly tattooed my hands with blue mess, sometimes black. So why don’t I just use a keyboard and type it all up. I have no idea.

So far I have come to the conclusion while writing my story that it is highly confusing and anticlimactic. But I digress it now officially novel length at over 80,000 words. I guestimate that is will be at least 100,000 to 120,000 words. As the infamous Lauren Such And Such would say “It are a long book.” And I often wonder while still writing it: will it be published one day?

I was surprised to find out how many of my friends formed an emotional connection to the story. So when I finish it how do I credit the ideas my friends gave me?

I am surprisingly excited and nervous about university next week. So far I am enrolled in

Communication in the Digital Age

Technology Communication and Culture

Television Journalism

Its hard to believe that there will only be two more terms left before I go back to Canada, but that is months away.

P.S. There are ways to tell the evil counterparts apart…stay tuned.