Dear Universe, those who care to read, those who don’t, etc,
I am attempting a return to blogging. Mostly because I love writing and I think the reason I have been down as of late, (although, I am feeling better) because I haven’t been using words to express myself. Maybe not in this blog but another…
The reason I stopped blogging was for a number of reasons.
- I wrote what I thought, no filters, and no remorse (at the time). I once wrote a nasty entry about someone I knew at church based on irrational jealousy. It was over a guy who was shall I say it not really worth it. He wasn’t the one for me. I am thankful for this. I just need to learn when someone is not interested.
- I lost my passion, for weeks I would go with out writing in my notebook and constantly it was the same phrase over and over again.
“I should write more!”
Yeah well I should but I don’t and it hurts my creative soul. Figures! I guess I could say it is a form of severe writers block. Not that my imagination ceased, it was more along the lines I have this awesome idea in my head and…for fuck sakes how do I get this out of my head and on to paper and/or computer screen. RAWR!
- Being that I suffer from depression and anxiety I’ve had to take something to help me, shall I say NOT to melt down at work to feel somewhat normal. I feel it has stifled my writing ability. But I am healing so I guess that’s a positive thing right? Also I am NOT ashamed to be suffering from a mental illness.
- This sort of relates to the first, because I’ve written things I shouldn’t have and so I am worried I will offend people.
- People have used the “you’re a writer” against me! There is a difference between catching me saying a grammatical blunder. For Example: “I’ve got a friend, “instead of “I have a friend.” Or mixing up their, there and they’re. And saying to me “ah that’s grammatically incorrect aren’t you a writer haha de haha de ha!” Compared too snarkily saying I should learn to use my words better because I’m a writer. To the first comment I respond “I write differently then I speak.” To the second I say “This is why writers have editors, I’m not perfect.” In fact I should not even worry about the above two statements. I worry about what people think too much.
Writing for me is therapeutic. Words are like my soul food, so hopefully, I can get back on track and regain my lost passion and not let it melt into oblivion or get lost in the scatterbrainedness of my mind.
P.S. I like someone again! J Hopefully its different this time!