Twilight series sucks!

It’s 12:30 a.m. and I suddenly realise (or maybe I am just reminding myself) that I really don’t like the Twilight series even though I was a douche and bought the whole set because I heard such rave reviews on how amazingly awesome it is. I decided to give it a read because I think vampires are cool or mysterious. I’ve not quite wrapped my head around the whole undead thing mind you.

Actually it was this is a conversation between me and another cashier I will name Wilma and another associate I’ll name Bill to protect there anonymity because I like them. J Bill is funny and Wilma has interesting opinions on stuff. Anyways it kind of pointed out the irony of reading something I don’t particularly enjoy.

Wilma: (sits down at table with me. Looks to big fat black book of all boringness sitting beside me.) You still reading the first Twilight book Melissa?
Me: No it’s the third one.
Wilma: Do you like it? I quite liked the series I really enjoyed it. (Note she says this every time.)
Me: Uhhhh it’s alright. I don’t really like it.
Bill: (Obviously eavesdropping) OK so your reading it and you don’t like. Hmmm that makes sense.
Me: I like it. I just don’t really like it that much. I’ve read way better.
Bill: Yet you’re still reading it…
Wilma: I quite liked it. I really enjoyed the series….

Yeah well this conversation isn’t really funny…but it was funny earlier when Bill discussed his hatred for stupid people. :P I just can’t remember what he said…

Note this blog entry may see scatterbrained and garbled because it is almost 1 am and Ummmm….yeah!

However, I will note that the general idea is pretty creative, especially the good vegetarian vampire thing and the whole idea of them having special powers. Stephenie Meyer’s writing style is easy to read too. It’s flowery and pretty, but it really isn’t all roses either.

I can also see why girls may like it. Beautiful vampire often compared to a Greek Adonis loves average girl who leads and ordinary boring life. Girl meets vampire beautiful man and her life seems better. It’s true love and its everlasting undying love because even if Bella dies (I haven’t gotten to the fourth book yet) Edward will still love her. He will die for her by going to those Italian jerks the Volturi and ask him to take his very life because he would rather end his immortality than be with out his precious Bella Swan. What teenage girl wouldn’t want that kind of love for them? Not to mention its forbidden love because Edward could cave in and entirely kill her being highly attracted to her scent and all. I mean vampire human, predator prey it all comes down to binary opposition. One’s bad one’s good. Vampires being inherently strong with supernatural abilites and abomination against nature being undead and all and then there is humans who are weak, normal abilities and living beings. It would be a very interesting series to write a cultural type essay about, but I digress.

Anyways…So what are my issues with the books?

The author tells the story rather than shows it. She tells you how sad Bella is and uses like a paragraph to describe one item. It’s dumb. To me showing the reader what is happening captivates them.

Let me see 2 dimensional characters if your entirely lucky to come across one! A lot of them are just cardboard cut outs relegated to he said she said roles. They did this and they did that…Who cares? I know nothing about the characters except that the guys at Bella’s high school are all instantly in love with her, which makes sense because she is so entirely plain. And her girl friends are all about gossiping and other stereotypical girl stuff. Rah! I just hope none of my characters are like that, because that would be entirely demeaning to them. I love my characters and my stories.

Also, I’m sorry but I think Edward is a steaming pile of Gary Stu. AN ENTIRE GARY STU! He can do know wrong and is entirely beautiful and good and everyone hates him for it. Pretty much every chapter Bella is like oh “he is so beautiful” or “there he is a male supermodel with his golden topaz liquid eyes,” and blabedy blah! Urgh! I understood the fact that he is beautiful the entire time, stop friggen reminding me of it! I also find it contradictory that Bella insists she isn’t with him because of the way he looks or his money but she constantly describes how beautiful he is and how he is rich. Also Edward and Bella are so co-dependent on each other one of them leaves and they descend into entire gloominess. Especially Bella….

In fact from the three books that I have read…Bella mopes a lot, she’s clumsy and her whole entire world is about Edward and one day being an entire vampire….oooooh.

Currently I am reading the third book and I don’t know why. I just want to read all the books so I can say that I read them and I think they entirely suck. ENTIRELY SUCK! Then yesterday I misplaced one of the books, thinking that I lost it and I panicked, not because I wanted to finish reading it, but because I spent money on it and I couldn’t finish it to tell people how much I think it sucks. Yeah I am weird. I reading a series I entirely don’t like just because I have nothing better to do.

P.S. You Suck: A Love Story is a good vampire story…so there!

They take up way to much valuable space on my bookshelf. In fact let me be entirely callous and add the library as well. There are so many good books they could have at the library in town but they instead make space for the waste of words and trees that The Twilight series is. For instance more Robert Rankin books and Jasper Fforde books. Or maybe the entire series of the Acorna the Unicorn Girl books, I mean they have all of them except one and, and, and it just doesn’t make sense to me. My brain might implode from the insanity of obsessions.

I’m done with my scatterbrained rant for tonight.


P.S. Die hard Twilight fans will probably come after me with flame throwers and pitchforks now.

You’re a book!

Because today was Mothers Day, I wanted to show her I care. My mom (Hev-Lady) has had a recent surge of reading I decided the best way was to write her a small short story, to coincide with the bookmark I made her. My mom and I have our differences and we clash on more or one occasion, but I still appreciate her despite our issues. After all it is Mothers Day. And what better way to show this than to write, something she encouraged me to do through out the years.

So here is it. Staring no other than Hev-Lady and Ashleigh McGlonagkic complete with an inside joke. I have been attempting since I’ve gotten back from Australia to teach her word play insults. If that’s what you call them? She is slowly getting the hang of it.

You’re a book!

“I’m going to read a book,” says Hev-Lady, resting comfortably on the living room couch, entitled to rest it being Mother’s Day and all.
“You’re a book,” Ashleigh replies automatically. Hev-Lady’s sighs echoes through out the small house.
“Then why don’t you read me then?” Hev-Lady questions. “If I am a book as you say.”
“You’re hard to read,” Ashleigh says, “one of a kind, like any book. That’s why for Mothers Day I am giving you a bookmark to read other books.”
“You’re a bookmark,” Hev-Lady says. “Did I say it right?”
“Yes mom,” says Ashleigh. “Then I say...’I’ll mark your book,’ to which you reply?”
“You’re face is?”
“No! “I’ll book you’re mark,” Ashleigh sighs exasperated from trying to teach her mother word games all day. “But seriously I made you a book mark.”
“It looks thrown together,” Hev-Lady replies, still happy about the present mind you.
“I kind of procrastinated,” Ashleigh admits. “But it has flowers on it. You like flowers!”
“It has scribbled flowers all over it,” says Hev-Lady. “But I like it just the same.”
“You’re scribbled flowers,” Ashleigh retorts. “I’d had limited resources and time.”
“Enough of that now,” says Hev-Lady. “Let me read. The bookmark will still serve its purpose.”

P.S. Mom liked it!

14 out of 100 entries :S 86 more to go!

Deep thinking...?

I can’t wait to see the new Star Trek. I am so excited to see it. I thought it was kind of funny that some of the purists don't like the new film because it doesn't stay true to the original cannon. I prefer to think of it as a different interpretation of Gene Roddenberrys vision. It’s a different take on the original cannon so to speak. I am looking forward to the newer look. I believe William Shatner said to the die hard trekkies or trekkers or whatever the hell they are called "to get a life." I can understand why maybe the purists to the original series may not like the new version. Maybe it’s like some people when they make a book into a movie. If I see the movie version I hardly ever leave satisfied. I'll always love the book version no matter what and it irritates me what Hollywood does to my idea of story. If they ever made a movie version of Thursday Next series, I'd probably cause a riot. Characters are foremost belong to the author, but they can also belong to the readers or viewers in the case of Star Trek in a different way. They are peoples heroes they love the story that the author created so much any tampering or changing in there opinion maybe considered a downright assault or attack on their imagination and there emotional connections to the character and the story.

It kind of reminds me of Roland Barthes and his idea that there are no authors only readers and the author is the first reader. So the author created the characters and story and sees it one way, but different individuals would see it differently than the next individual. So could Hollywood merely just be another reader and putting a different text out there to be interpreted by more readers, to the point that the meaning and the original meaning of it is endlessly deferred. Like Jacques Derrida’s example of how meaning is endlessly deferred and compared it to the dictionary, that there is no same meaning for the same thing. So the story or the text the author started out with is totally different than what he or she intended. Does this mean there is no such thing as creative enterprise if not seen how it’s intended and is there a such a thing as an original idea? Is there an author? Is there only creative readers?

Case in point I am ultimately putting to much thought into this subject again. Of course all of this is purely my opinion. I digress, I like Star Trek, but I am not obsessed and if I look at it as a different interpretation of the idea then it doesn't bother me too much, because I to am a reader and different than all the others readers out there in my views and interpretations of books as well as a Star Trek.

I almost got hit by a car last night. It was so close I could feel the front tire right by my foot! The groceries I had in my bag were damaged. A box of granola bars were dented right in and my bread was flattened into an unspeakable mass. It was a close call and I got me thinking what if? It was the scariest thing I've had happen in my life, including the time when I was eight and I was electrocuted by my great grandfather’s night light that he gave me. It's safe to say I've had two near death experiences now. It's kind of creepy. It makes me wonder if there is a set time for everyone to enter the world and then to leave it. I hope I leave peacefully and that I am content with how I lived my life when it happens, but I think everyone wants that. I don't think we have a choice in the matter sadly. Much like the act of reading and everyone’s different interpretations and views on it. I have no choice how people will read my work and I have no choice about when I die, but at least being a writer I leave myself and my words behind for others to read and interpret. Funny how I bring a near death experience back to reading and writing, maybe it’s because it’s a BIG part of my life. It’s what I do and enjoy whilst I am living.

Again…thinking about things way to deeply again.

P.S. I write at work, but not for work so I am technically being paid to write, but merely for my own amusement. :P

13/100 entries