Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Rice and life!

So what have I done since Saturday when I updated this dastardly blog? Not much and the only reason I am updating my blog is because Jo demanded it. Just Kidding.

Re: Rice! Sounds like a product placement of some kind. :P Rice, rice, rice…rice is life! How about that? Yes I completely understand what Jo and Chris have said. First off it wasn’t my entire rice it was Dave’s (the non-talking antisocial flatmate.) Second it’s OK if there is a prior agreement of some kind to take anything you need if one is not around, but its common courtesy to ask. If you ask before you take something that isn’t yours then I believe that it’s technically stealing. That is all that I am saying. Also I understand what Chris means by the whole flatmates are looking out for #1. Living in a share house is quite annoying at times, but at others it’s rewarding. It has its benefits as well as downfalls. I miss having a flat to myself, but I won’t go as far as Chris did in the movies Flat To Myself 1 &2.

Actually I have Flat To Myself type of dreams. I’ve had two that really stick out, and they are a bit graphic to share. So I won’t go into much detail. It always involves an evil midget with blonde hair who wants to kill me. It starts with me at my back door and I know she is outside and I and my flatmates are in danger. So lock it just in time but she still manages to get in. Anyways she always comes at me with a knife and just when I am pretty badly wounded the police and paramedics arrive and save the entire day. After which I am distraught or course, but then safety leaves and the evil midget comes back and a door appears out of nowhere. The recent dream I had this time had Sue-Woman on the other end wanting to hurt me and I managed to lock her out of my flat but the evil midget let her in. In which both attacked me. There is other disturbing things too in these confounding dreams, which if you really want to know in detail you can ask me.

Work at Pixi Foto is alright it you can handle the entire c-word thrown at you just for doing your job. Well it hasn’t happened yet but I met and old promoter who did the same job I did and she said that it happened to her a couple of times. I get more no’s then yes’s. I guess not many people are keen to have professional portraits taken? The irony is I get paid to be rejected. Another thing is it’s the ones that aren’t interested in the first place are the ones that want to stop and have a chat with me. I keep thinking this is an entire time waster, but I guess if I am nice the no’s now they will be future yes’s?

So far I’ve met some pretty interesting people. I had a pregnant old lady man widow tell me I should get married. Perhaps she was conspiring with Sue-Woman? Come to think of it pretty much all the pregnant old lady man wives or spinsters all wear pink so I can never remember who I asked last. A majority of them have also died their hair an unnatural purple colour, which makes it even harder to distinguish them from one or the other. The pregnant old lady men they wear a lot of blue and it’s pretty much the same idea as the female polms.

I have also noticed there are a lot of families and babies around too and 90% have already had photos taken for their little bundles of joy. And the other 10% aren’t interested because they either have a digital camera or they have had “professional” portraits taken…this is where I want ask them what do you think Pixi Foto is then?

Big W is boring enough said. I pretty much tidy up shelves and make everything nice for the next day. It’s is a nice change from the other job. My first night on the job at Big W. I spent fixing and rearranging the men’s underwear. The second night I spent tidying the shoes. The shoes were by far the worst, customers are so lazy they don’t even bother to put the bloody shoes back on the shelf but instead toss them across the aisle. I also didn’t have an name tag so customers thought I was weird and old staff had no idea I was asking the questions I was.

So there you have it an entire updated type entry of all boringness!

P.S. Sue-Woman doesn’t know I am staying!

Saturday, November 24, 2007

An entire lake of grudges? Just add rice!

OK so I am quite tired after busy week as I have officially started both jobs and now the fun part comes where I try to juggle the both of them. I might even be tired from the allergy medication I tried today. Who cares as long as it works!

Anyways I thought I should at least write something on this blog.

What happens when you put three Asians, two Koreans and on Japanese (and a missing shower curtain. You get an entire lake. AN ENTIRE LAKE! You see the shower curtain in the bathroom was mouldy and smelly so I decided to soak it over night in the tub. I told both flatmates, one of which still hasn’t said boo to me that I had done this. My Korean flatmate invited two of her friends over to stay the night, both of which both had showers, with out the curtain, then this morning Jenifer had a shower. So the entire bathroom was a hazard zone. A HAZARD ZONE! She wondered why I was mopping the floor this morning and kept asking where the shower curtain was. I then told her for the fifth billionth time that it was down stairs soaking in the entire laundry sink. THE ENTIRE SINK! No offence, but you’d have to be pretty stupid to have a shower with out the curtain! Needless to say I was a bit cranky about it, but I am not now because I think it was partly my fault for soaking it, but how was I too know she’d invite all her friends over, who would end up staying the night and taking shower after show till there was no hot water left. I felt bad for felling cranky so I mopped it up.

In fact I am cranky altogether from lack of sleep no thanks to my Korean Flatmates late night talking.

I also nearly missed having my rice in my cupboard eaten on me too. Jenifer and her friends took my other flatmates Dave’s by mistake thinking it was mine and that I wouldn’t mind. Actually to be honest I would have been quite angry because I can’t afford to feed four people. Not that it matters she said she was going to fill it up on Monday, but still. Once I told her that it was not my rice they had eaten she got quite scared. I told her if he gets angry which I doubt he will. I will stick up for her. I think she reckons Dave is a gang member with all his tattoos. So the lesson from this is to ask before you take, (she could of txt me) not take then ask to avoid situations like this. It irritates me something fierce when people don’t ask before they take and assume they can just let me know and pay me back later. I’ve had flatmates in the past do this as well and they wonder why I get kind of cranky with them. I know they say oh I didn’t think you would mind and I’ll pay you back, but I was brought up that if you take it before you ask that’s stealing. Maybe it’s just an Australian thing? Perhaps I am still cranky about people taking stuff with out asking because my bad experience with a previous flatmate who actually did steal.

Don’t get me wrong I like Jenifer a lot. She is really cool and her friends are lovely too. They just do things that make no sense to me.

I suddenly realise I get cranky about random things and I stay cranky about them for years. I am still upset about certain things that have happened years ago. I am still annoyed about the flatmate who would drink my milk and assume I had to share because that’s what flatmates do but when I drank his milk got pissed off at me. I think I hold grudges but there over really stupid trivial things that I shouldn’t really be dwelling on.

Hmmm….what else?

I’m not to sure about hugs from random people I’d rather just hug myself….

I am obsessed with Super Mario Bros game.

I am still hung up on my Officer Octogenarian. I told him about Plan 10 From Outer Space via txt, I should have rang him up or ran into him, but I thought I better let him know soon. So he doesn’t make any plans. He’ll probably never reply. So there goes part of the plan.

I am making some new friends….

I like Korean food :) I am so going to the Asian food shop and buying some!

The middle shelf in my entire fridge broke in half!

My flatmate still isn’t talking too me.

I started the third draft of superheroes a little while back. It has changed a bit since the first and second, but it is actually better in the long run. I won’t run the surprises I added. :P

I am homesick because of Christmas and stupid potential customers and staff keep reminding me of my Canadianess and asking me a million billion questions about home.

I’ve become interested in politics

P.S. I miss Carol :( I miss our friendship…its falling away at the entire seams. THE ENTIRE SEAMS!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

My wondeful list of things I miss.

Hmmmm lets see I think I just heard the most confounding statement of all time recently. You see was talking to my flatmate Dave and the Unilodge Manager about homosexuality. I found the remark Dave made very strange

“It’s not right! I don’t believe in God, but the Bible says it’s not right so that’s what I think.”

Well I think that’s a steaming pile of contradictory bullshit. BULLSHIT! Sorry it just bothered me. How can you say you don’t believe in God, but quote the book that’s supposedly his word in your homophobic justifications? It seriously made me mad for some reason. So I told him I thought it contradictory and now he hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks. It’s really quite awkward. It’s not like I had a go at him about it or tried to push my beliefs on him. I just I told him his statement didn’t make any entire sense. ENTIRE SENSE!

Ah yes so now after a hiccup or two things work wise are working out entirely. I can feel things starting to get better. I think it’s because I changed my mind set.

Then I have somehow developed annoying allergies. ALLERGIES! All the more excuse to go to the pharmacy and get something for them…Its not stalking if I have terribly itchy dry eyes and sneezing every ten bloody minutes.

Hmmm what else ah yes my mom Hev-Lady said to make a list of things I miss from home and she might send it too me if budget allows and customs as well.

So here it goes:

Kraft Dinner: They have something like it here but it just isn’t the same. There is a joke that Canadians can eat their own weight in Kraft Dinner and some people even reckon it’s an entire food group when mixed with hotdogs and ketchup.

Honey Nut Cheerio’s and Apple Cinnamon Cheerio’s: They are like the best breakfast/ snack ever in the entire world. They only have multigrain ones here and it makes me sad, so very sad. No I am not talking about sausages either. Its cereal baby! Good old cereal!

Kellogg’s Corn Pops: Same as the cheerio’s. It’s another breakfast cereal that has yet to grace the presence of the supermarkets here.

Dads Oatmeal Cookies: Chocked full of preservatives. These have to be the best cookies in the entire world. THE ENTIRE WORLD! They have just the right sweet taste and they are crunchie in just the right way.

Tim Hortons Coffee and Tim Hortons hot chocolate: It’s kind of like the Kraft Dinner thing except Tim Horton’s is an iconic restaurant chain in back home, that serves hot drinks, deli style sandwiches, soups, muffins, donuts and other deserts. My favourite desert is the Iced Cap, which is basically an iced cappuccino. However, you can by their drinks separately to take home and make…I want a bit of Canadiana to share with my friends here!

Timmy’s is the best! It makes sense they are so popular seeing as Canadians eat more donuts per capita than any other country and the atmosphere is much different than most places. In fact it seems like there is a Tim Hortons in every town on almost every block. They seriously outnumber McDonalds Actually come to think of it some towns are cranky if they don’t have one. It would be the best place to take some one on a get to know each other type date or a place to see friend and just chat or read the paper and catch up with strangers about the weather and current affairs. What I wouldn’t give now for a large double, double and a 24 pack of Tim Bits. A double, double is coffee with two creams, two sugars except I always grab extra sugar because the coffee is so strong and Tim Bits are the donut holes left over.

Tim Hortons Mug: To drink my coffee and/hot chocolate. Mine lost the logo on it because one of my previous flatmates decided it would be funny to scrub it off.

Ketchup flavoured potato chips: Oh gosh what I wouldn’t love them. They smell kind of bad but taste so good and there red, my favourite colour too.

Souvenirs for my friends: I don’t really think this needs explanation. You can get this at the local dollar store where I used to live, but I didn’t get enough sadly. It be nice to have a stock pile to give to some new friends and stuff. She might not even have to go there. She could send Canadian Tire money or random packaging with the French and English on them. On the other hand my mom might want that to use the money I don’t know Canadian Tire and she might think I am weird for wanting random boxes and packaging. In case you’re wondering Canadian Tire is kind of like Mitre 10 and those types of place here in Australia.

Oxford Canadian Dictionary: Yes I know they have dictionaries here but not the one I want! It’s got Canadian words in it, like shit disturber and toque. Ummm….I am really homesick right now.

My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures: because I am an entire nerd. There not the new ones out either but the old retro ones...They also remind me of my brother in a very nostalgic way.

And that’s all I can think of. For now…as I think I’ve gone over board. Going over this list makes me feel selfish.

P.S. Plan 10 from outer space! Yay! I can’t wait. It’s seriously going to be awesome fun.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Sarcasm is rude?

Melissa’s Obsession Day 7: Melissa will soon be put in looney bin. LOONEY BIN! A bin full of Loonies and by that I mean the nice golden coins from Canada with the picture of the loon on them. This whole paragraph made no sense whatsoever

I was thinking to day that if I had to pick a song right now that best described what I was thinking and feeling it would have to be Easier Said Than Done, by the Essex.
My friends all tell me,
Go to him, run to him,
Say sweet, lovely things to him,
And tell him he's the one
Deep in my heart, I know it
But it's so hard to show it
'Cause it's easier, easier said than done
My buddies tell me,
Fly to him, sigh to him,
Tell him I would die for him,
And tell him he's the one
Although he gives me a feeling
That sets my heart a-reeling,
Yet it's easier, easier said than done
Well, I know (I know) that I love him so
But I'm afraid that he'll never know
Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy
Each time that I look him in the eye
They all tell me,
Sing to him, swing with him,
And just do anything for him,
And tell him he's the one
I got a love so true
And yet I'm sad and blue
'Cause it's easier, easier said than done
Well, I know (I know) that I love him so
But I'm afraid that he'll never know
Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy
Each time that I look him in the eye
They all tell me,
Sing to him, swing with him,
And just do anything for him,
And tell him he's the one
I got a love so true
And yet I'm sad and blue
'Cause it's easier, easier said than done
Easier
Said than done

Now I am not sure yet if it’s a love so true deal not to mention because the song was released in 1963 I think the lyrics reflect the era it came from. I reckon this part of the song sums up what I am feeling the best besides the easier said than done bit.

But I'm afraid that he'll never know
Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy
Each time that I look him in the eye

So what else has been happening? Actually things are going quite well. I have two jobs now. TWO! I now have an entire job at Big W. Everyone kept saying to quit Pixi Foto but I really like it there too. I came into a major conundrum when the induction for Big W was scheduled in at the same time I had a shift at Pixi Foto. Everyone said call in sick and such, but it felt dishonest and mean. So I told the truth and said I had just been offered another job and you know what the manager at Pixi Foto understood and said that we can work around the hours just as long as I give her enough notice and let her know when I am available. For once I finally listened to myself. I knew the manager would understand and I know I can do both jobs. So there people telling me what to do all the time! :P Hah I made up my entire mind by myself. MY ENTIRE MIND!

Strange things have been happening lately. I got good marks with uni, but I noticed I had an RO or Result Outstanding for Desktop Publishing. Turns out the lecturer lost my entire assignment. MY ENTIRE ASSIGNMENT! I swear that class is cured. He didn’t even admit he lost it he just said “oh I don’t seem to have your assignment and I assumed you did hand it in on time, but can use please resubmit it?” Urgh what a retard how do you lose someone’s assignment? The lecturer is a nice guy don’t get me wrong, but it still made me mad.

That reminds me I made Grandma Sue-Woman mad. You see I sent her an e-mail that sounds very much like the sarcastic writing in this very blog and I had a bit of a go at her about the whole liking a guy thing. She asked me if I read over my e-mails before I sent them too her. She reckoned I was being rude because sarcasm is rudeness. I was merely being honest and telling her I was frustrated. Hev-Lady even agreed with me. I finally let her see the real me, but she rejected it. She still thinks I am this classy goody, goody granddaughter who is so smart, nice and innocent and perhaps sometimes sarcastic with a bit of a chip on her should, as she often says. No Sue-Woman your granddaughter, doesn’t drink alcohol and go out partying occasionally, she doesn’t say the f word when angry, she hasn’t thought about not waiting for marriage to participate in adult like activities and she isn’t sarcastic oh goodness me no she definitely is not.

Then she was upset because I never comment on certain tid bits about her life. Well sorry Grandma, your life isn’t that interesting. I mean what am I supposed to say to her when she goes on and on about how its morning and how her big expensive motor home is not working proper, the stupid dog they have called Sir Mutley and his bowel movements or some problem with a restaurant not cooking their food properly. Big deal I could stand NOT to get an e-mail from her like that. What happened to short but sweet? I’m still her thinking of you I am not dead, the end.

My life isn’t that important that I have to tell her what I have for breakfast or how I am living my life. From now on I send her a friendly greeting and let her know I am not dead. So I guess you could say I am mad at Sue-Woman too.

P.S. The dress is gone now :(

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Grandmotherly expectations

Under the direction and request from Amy I am again updating my blog. Goodness me I don’t why seeing as I can’t really think of what to write about. I wasted my weekend feeling really anxious for some reason and playing Donkey Kong Country 3 till I can feel that tired feeling in my eyes. The only reason I played was to keep myself focused on something else.

My grandma (Sue-Woman not Val-Lady) is hilarious. I wrote her a mandatory e-mail yesterday. I say mandatory because she is my grandmother among other things….. ask me sometime1

Anyways I barely even mention my crush and it’s the first thing she picked up on. She sent me an entire e-mail on how she wants to know more about him. Then she writes a sentence on what I consider the other more important information, like my new job and how things are going really awesome lately. I swear she wants me to get married and contribute to the world’s overpopulation epidemic. This isn’t saying I don’t want kids and to get married, just not right now.

Soooo what do I tell her about my Officer Octogenarian…for starters I could say I gave him a code name based on a characters name for anonymities sake, seeing as I am discussing him on my blog. What is it now 4 entries in a row now that mentions him in some form? Hint alphabetical plans, the Ashleigh story, something about a pink shirt and now some random musing about my grandma’s curiosity. My grandma has this really strange way of believing everything anyone writes to her. I could tell her he is an astrophysicist/ monkey trainer/ movie star and she’d probably believe me. She’d probably be disappointed to here that he’s most likely not a returned Mormon missionary, but an average everyday uni student/pharmacist. Not that I care. In fact I am so going to tell her all that just see what she says. This is for boredoms sake mind you.

To prove how gullible she is one time my mom as an April Fools joke casually wrote in the end of an e-mail that I was expecting. My grandma believed her. She rang my mom about three times that day and apparently my grandpa was in tears, because their classy goody-goody granddaughter had apparently got knocked up by dreaded premarital sex and was no longer a classy goody-goody granddaughter. I was kind of annoyed about my mom’s joke at first, not because she pulled on my grandparents, heck I give her full props for that. It just felt like my reputation as was put on the line just for a mere joke.

P.S. I know this is really bad but my other grandma Val-Lady is my top grandma…She’s like my mom but with a British twist. She’s like fish and chips!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

An alphabetical plan of obsession!

Today is my brother’s birthday.

So I shall wish a very Happy Birthday to Tony because he is awesome.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY!!!

By the way the last entry was not attacking anyone….I was making fun of the situation and myself.

Remember how I said yesterday that there would be no more silly crushing going on in terms of Officer Octogenarian? I haven’t changed my mind, but the thought of it is giving me serious anxiety.

I am…

A: afraid he has a girl friend and will reject me, therefore leaving me embarrassed
B: plain old reject me
C: biggest of all he will do none of the above and say yes.

Weird isn’t it I am more scared of the acceptance than rejection for some reason. I can see it now I will probably be obsessing over it and wondering why he said yes. Or wondering oh crap what next?

I know I have too though or I will go insane from wondering whether it was a yes or a no in the first place. Then all my feelings will yet again be in vain.

So my mom (Hev- Lady) gave me some ideas of what I could ask him.

Plan A: I could ask him for a movie…but the problem is I have no money for a movie right now. And seeing as I asked him I’d want to shout him to be nice.

Plan B: I could ask him over to my house for coffee. A distinct possibility except if you ever watch those romantic movies it’s usually after a date you ask a guy to your house for coffee and its usually not coffee drinking type activities that is implied. Plus my milk is kind of going off and I want all my coffee to myself.

Plan C: Ask him to go for a walk… where in the heck is there to walk around here?…oh yes lets have a tour of where I live seeing as he used to have a friend around here he probably knows his way around.

Plan D: I could ask him over for dinner, but tell him my Korean flatmate will be there and I wanted to introduce her to one of my friends and to show my flatmate that not all Aussie males have tattoos. Ha ha that’s my joke. Then if he says I have a girlfriend I’ll be like cool bring her along too! I could also mention I wanted to prove that I can cook like I said last time. The problem is I am not sure if I can say friends as we really are merely acquaintance/sort of friends. It could be a way of catching up so to speak as well.

Plan E: A variation of the previous plan…Mom suggests a dinner party. Ah yes dinner parties are kind of Joan’s thing. I wouldn’t want to invade on her parade so to speak. Get everyone he doesn’t know over will be awkward as, not to mention I hate groups of people. Having dinner with one flatmate for perhaps a mediator and him would be much easier I reckon. So no Plan E! Sorry Hev-Lady.

Plan F: Do nothing and continue to go insane.

Plan G: Make a plan for every letter in the alphabet!

Plan H: Have Lunch then think of more plans

Plan I: Make enough money so I can go with plan A

Plan J: Do plan A repeatedly until I can invite him in for Plan B. By Plan B I mean ummm….yes…

Plan K: Invite him out when my friends and I go out to the clubs!! I think its kind of his domain.

Plan L: Stop thinking of so many plans

Plan M: Plan Melissa! And by that I mean spell my name in acrostics so I can follow Plan L. For example…

Miraculous
Excited
Lovely
Incidentally
Silly
Sappy
And possibly insane

Plan N: Not to go insane

Plan O: Officer Octogenarian!! Tell the person all about the character if I am stuck for something to say next time I see him?

Plan P: Postpone all plans until a later date….

Plan Q: Quiz everyone on my ideas and ask for feedback on what they think…advice if you will NOT tell me what to do.

Plan R: Ring Officer Octogenarian, the person not the character and just go with the flow….

Plan S: Stop thinking of plans that begin with the letter of the plan….see Plans M – R!

Plan T: I am so running out of ideas of what could be possible plans!

Plan U: Not to be come an entire stalker!

Plan V: Nothing Honestly!

Plan W: Honestly Nothing!

Plan X: Nothing Really

Plan Y: Really Nothing!

Plan Z: Plain old nothing!

P.S. Can’t you tell that I am bored? Yes and obsessed!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Oh I am think I am entirely in love!!

Today was my second day of work at my new job. It was fun but nerve racking because I am still shy around others I don’t know. I reckon the shy monster likes to creep up on me every now and then, much to my annoyance. She preys off my fear and my perceived lack of confidence. I like my job it’s really relaxed and more professional than all the other jobs I have had.

Oh the strange things this so called “love” will do to people. For the last two days I have looked for my Officer Octogenarian in order to take the plunge and ask him out.

Yesterday I instead of going with a previously sought out plan in which I asked some sort of medical like question or get something of some sort. I wandered into the make up aisle. Big mistake…the make up lady made me feel like an entire criminal. AN ENTIRE CRIMINAL! I made the mistake of telling her that I had no money for makeup and I was just browsing. A few seconds later I heard her talking to two staff members that girl is she is just browsing for makeup, but just to make sure I think you should keep an eye on her. So I tried to get enough courage to get to the counter where I saw a woman who looked like Officer Octogenarian but that was before I got a closer look, yeah it was kind of weird. Then I saw Officer Octogenarians friend. He’s pretty cool but I he wasn’t the one I wanted to talk too.

So I went again today and I decided it was not really stalking as I really honestly did need something from the pharmacy. This was the previously aforementioned plan I was trying to put into action the day before. I am sure many a friends would reply by saying “sure Melissa….” But I don’t care what anyone thinks. I think you know you like someone when you’ll wear a metal chain that you know will cause a some what uncomfortable allergic reaction just so you can go in and by some cream for it. And when asked if you want to join the pharmacy’s rewards club you say sure why not when really you would not be interested. I saw my Officer Octogenarian today and I even have the receipts to prove it. I was really nervous and I think he picked up on it and I got really shy like and I couldn’t say much too him, which really sucks because I planned to ask him to coffee or whatever, nothing serious, but considering other embarrassing blunders that have involved him previously there was no awkwardness and he was nice and quiet like when I’ve met him before. So I guess it’s OK then?

In my current obsessiveness I would write out the entire conversation but it was boring and pointless so I will write an Ashleigh and Philis story inspired by it. It is partly based on my insane imagination and part based on actual events. If you can pick out the actual events, I might just not give you candy…sorry lollies because I am entirely poor and have no money. LOLLIES! CANDY!! I’M POOR!

Ashleigh walks into the local pharmacy with a hideous rash. She is surprised to see her Officer Octogenarian…Philip Tayte. She gets along very well with “Ph” names. Coincidentally she likes pharmacies because of the “ph” as well.

Ashleigh: (Spots Philip and is quite happy to see him)
Philip: (She’s Ashleigh and seems quite happy to see her)
Ashleigh: Hi (Smiles really happy like)
Philip: Hey How’s it going?
Ashleigh: Going Good….
Philip: (Pauses for a moment) Did you want to get something here?
Ashleigh: (Awkwardly) Yes…I am having a allergic reaction on my neck. (Shows neck and slightly hideous rash of hives. HIVES!)
Philip: Oh do you know what it is from?
Ashleigh: (Shifty eyed) I think its from my necklace…(Shows golden necklace)
Philip: Well did you want tablets or cream
Ashleigh: Ummm I’m not sure which would be best?
Philip: Oh well I’ll go and check for you. (Meanders up to another pharmacist and asks him question)
Ashleigh admires the view and may or may not be looking at him longingly with romantical intentions. Philis noticing Ashleigh waddles over….
Philis: Hi Ashleigh…is this the guy you like?
Ashleigh: Shut up Philis….not so loud
Philis: I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll keep a look out for you with my fat eyes while you take him to the back room. (winks very obviously)
Ashleigh: (Blushes) No that won’t be necessary really.
Philip: (Walks over to creams and brings it back to Ashleigh) I think your best off using cream because you may be allergic to the nickel.
Ashleigh: Oh OK….(She is relieved that he didn’t hear anything Philis said and follows Philip over to counter…)
Princess Jo spots Ashleigh and bounces over happily.

Princess Jo: (Shouts) STAY AWAY FROM HIM HE’LL CHEAT ON YOU AND IS A HORRIBLE WOMANISER!
Ashleigh: And you know this because?
Princess Jo: I saw his entire photograph!
Philip: (Looks perplexed) stay away from who?
Philis: What? You can’t tell a guy is a womaniser just by his photography unless its one of those nude like ones in which he is caught in the act of womanising. I can’t be caught in any of this because I’m fat!
Ashleigh: Philis I highly doubt Philip is into pornography.
Philip: (Stares at Ashleigh and her friends awkwardly) Are you interested in getting a Sunflower Groups Pharmacy Members Card? It’s free!
Philis: That’s proof he is right there. You can’t be members of those companies they’ll sell your informations to people to them people. I think PJ is right.
Ashleigh: What people?
Princess Jo: Of course I am always right. STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
Ashleigh: Get lost both of you. (Hastily grabs purchase from Philip, she pushes past Princess Jo and Philis.)
Ashleigh is about to leave the pharmacy when two men wearing a purple uniforms accost her two Fergaria-Finbarton Bureau of Investigations agents Lauren Such And Such and Mike Queensburry.

Lauren: FFBI Hold it are right there!
Ashleigh: Huh?
Mike: Ashleigh McGlongakic you’re under arrest for stalking!
Ashleigh: What?
Lauren: Yeah!
Mike: Hev-Lady made an anonymous tip you’d be here stalking…
Lauren: Yes she are said to be on the look out for a NERD nerdy retarded weird looking girl in a pink shirt.
Ashleigh: First off it’s Hevlynn! Secondly if it’s anonymous then why did you just say who told you? And thirdly I am not wearing a pink shirt.
Lauren: We are forgot?
Mike: You’re face is pink?
Lauren: I’ll pink your face!
Mike: I’ll face your pink?
Lauren: Yay you is learning well….
Mike: Oh thank you….
Lauren: Hey don’t try and sneak away!
Ashleigh: I haven’t even moved!
The FFBI agents arrest Ashleigh for obsessive stalking…and being too nerdy…..THE END?

Now I know one or so of my friends doesn’t somewhat approve of my affections for him, but to be honest I don’t care. I’ve decided to go for it. I am past the whole crushing and admiring from afar. It’s fun and exciting, but it’s entirely sad and painful like too. Life is too short to hang out admiring from the sidelines. Yes it’s true I admit it. I am hung up on and entire guy. AN ENTIRE GUY! I’ll like who I like and if he turns out to be no good I’ll learn from my mistakes. I don’t need to be sheltered. My Mom contrary to popular belief never did she always was upfront and honest with me and she told me to go with what I feel is best. I respect my friends concern for my feelings and I am thankful they have my best interests at heart but, I just ask that they are still there for me “if” I come down in flames.

P.S. The dress didn’t fit!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

I updated my blog!!

Somebody told me on Friday “to update my blog missy!” I’m not saying names….

AMY!

So here I am updating my entire blog because my boring life is so interesting to a mere few.

Lets start off by saying that one of my biggest pet peeves is people who can’t read signs because A. They’re lazy or B. They’re stupid. It says in the computer lab. “No food, drink or mobile Phones….” plastered on the computer screen its self at eye level, but people bring in the lab still bring in food, drink and mobile phones. In fact a fellow resident meanders in with an open can of creaming soda and sits down quite innocently. I could here him sipping at the forbidden drink while I sat here and typed. You those who break the rules wreck it for those who do…enough said.

It reminds me of a time I worked at Burger King and there was a power outage. We had to close down the restaurant because sadly everything was electronically run and we put up signs on the drive in and the front door. Idiotic people still tried to come into the restaurant and came through drive in attempting to here a voice in the box. I am not sure if it was because it was force of habit to walk in straight way to induce their cholesterol levels continually or they just couldn’t read because they are retarded.


Here are some other random things that have happened or I have thought about.

I start my new job on Tuesday. I am super excited.

I saw a dress that I really, really want but it is way too expensive. I am not paying $150 for a dress! Then I’d have to buy new shoes to go with it too! Although it is a very nice dress…

I bought two new books from the slush pile of cheap $5 paper backs at Angus and Robertson….which I couldn’t afford, boredom brought me too it.

I have already finished one called Love Her To Death, by Linda Palmer. The story follows sexually repressed soap opera writer Morgan Tyler uncovering a mystery about one of her stars on the daytime drama Love of My Life. Cybelle Carter. Cybelle is scared her ex-husband Philippe Abacas is going to come and kill her. Oddly to escape him she died her hair blonde black and wears green contacts on screen. What a way to hide from some one? The author is good in that she establishes what people would think and is wittily sarcastic. Morgan is part sleuth and part sexually repressed. Every male character she encounters is examined from the female gaze, but does she jump these handsome males she meets, only one and the rest she doesn’t because she is still tormenting herself over the death of her husband Ian Miller, who was twenty years her senior. I was pleasantly shocked to find that she has one of many Officer Octogenarians. Matt Phoenix a police detective, Chet Thomas as novelist who writes crime stories and Philippe Abacas. This story is random as it is funny, but it has its boring bits too. I didn’t care about what stupid clothes Morgan was wearing although I guess it made sense because it takes place in upscale New York, where image is everything…Oh wells it was still a good read.

The second I have yet finish. Its called The Big Over Easy by Jasper Fforde Another mystery novel with a twist its about a detective investigating the death of Humpty Dumpty. It’s supposedly a clever parody on old nursery rhymes and literary works. I can’t wait to read it.

I’ve been playing Donkey Kong Country 2 Diddy’s Kong Quest a lot, but who cares about that. I found away to cheat and not die off. But I’ll never disclose my secret. NEVER! Mwhahahahahahaha!!!!

I revamped Song of the Superheros. It is 32 chapters now instead of 60 and 120,000 words in stead of 130,000. How did I manage to knock of almost 10,000 words? Easy I was reading it and I noticed that some of the events would be much better suited for the next book I am writing with the same characters, plus some new characters too, but I don’t want to spoil it for anyone.

I am starting to become obsessed with Myspace.

I spent yesterday afternoon helping my Korean flatmate Jeniffer and her friend Nicky learn English. I wrote down different ways to express certain things in English that Nicky was finding it difficult to say to others. Apparently reading English is easier than speaking it. For instance I thought I was being rude or impolite for some reason but he said I wasn’t. But he wasn’t sure how to say so. It was fun helping them. They let me try Korean food too. They gave me some noodles that looked like black spaghetti, but it tasted good. It wasn’t spicy either. They kept on telling me how kind I was for helping them and they were worried that they were taking my time, but I told them not to worry. I’d do it again too. They kind of remind me of the Korean version of Antonia and Kinwai. Except I don’t think there is anything romantic between them.

Something that annoys me is lately is people when upon first meeting them and after finding out I am studying university in Australia always ask. “Why didn’t you just stay in Canada they have universities there?” I feel a bubbling frustration every time some one asks me. I usually tell them that I wanted to be different or looking for independence and adventure. In fact sometimes I get in this mood where I hate people asking me questions altogether.

I am obsessed with random things and people, but those who read this blog know that already.

I keep dreaming about Officer Octogenarian, the person and the character…I think I think about him too much. I think…and it’s probably not healthy, so starting Monday I am going to be brave and ummm….talk to him? The person not the character! I could see it now

Me: Oh hello….
Officer Octogenarian: Hello! How’s it going?
Me: I’m wearing a pink shirt.
Officer Octogenarian: Huh?
Chris pops up out of nowhere for some random reason…
Chris: I am Melissa’s friend Chris. I am the one that dresses up as a woman.
Officer Octogenarian: (makes a manly sort of grunt and expression) OK?
Me: Yes…
Chris: Melissa wants to make sweet, sweet love to you…
Me thinking: Oh not again!!!
Officer Octogenarian: Oh really?
Me: Oh no…
Chris: Don’t forget making kissy!!
Me: Uh…what Chris said is correct….oh yeah did I mention that I am wearing a pink shirt?
Chris: Yes and I want it back too!
Officer Octogenarian: Huh?
Awkward silence….
Me: (runs away)
Me thinking: Now that I have successfully been identified as a freak. I can move on!

P.S. THE END!!