Today was my second day of work at my new job. It was fun but nerve racking because I am still shy around others I don’t know. I reckon the shy monster likes to creep up on me every now and then, much to my annoyance. She preys off my fear and my perceived lack of confidence. I like my job it’s really relaxed and more professional than all the other jobs I have had.
Oh the strange things this so called “love” will do to people. For the last two days I have looked for my Officer Octogenarian in order to take the plunge and ask him out.
Yesterday I instead of going with a previously sought out plan in which I asked some sort of medical like question or get something of some sort. I wandered into the make up aisle. Big mistake…the make up lady made me feel like an entire criminal. AN ENTIRE CRIMINAL! I made the mistake of telling her that I had no money for makeup and I was just browsing. A few seconds later I heard her talking to two staff members that girl is she is just browsing for makeup, but just to make sure I think you should keep an eye on her. So I tried to get enough courage to get to the counter where I saw a woman who looked like Officer Octogenarian but that was before I got a closer look, yeah it was kind of weird. Then I saw Officer Octogenarians friend. He’s pretty cool but I he wasn’t the one I wanted to talk too.
So I went again today and I decided it was not really stalking as I really honestly did need something from the pharmacy. This was the previously aforementioned plan I was trying to put into action the day before. I am sure many a friends would reply by saying “sure Melissa….” But I don’t care what anyone thinks. I think you know you like someone when you’ll wear a metal chain that you know will cause a some what uncomfortable allergic reaction just so you can go in and by some cream for it. And when asked if you want to join the pharmacy’s rewards club you say sure why not when really you would not be interested. I saw my Officer Octogenarian today and I even have the receipts to prove it. I was really nervous and I think he picked up on it and I got really shy like and I couldn’t say much too him, which really sucks because I planned to ask him to coffee or whatever, nothing serious, but considering other embarrassing blunders that have involved him previously there was no awkwardness and he was nice and quiet like when I’ve met him before. So I guess it’s OK then?
In my current obsessiveness I would write out the entire conversation but it was boring and pointless so I will write an Ashleigh and Philis story inspired by it. It is partly based on my insane imagination and part based on actual events. If you can pick out the actual events, I might just not give you candy…sorry lollies because I am entirely poor and have no money. LOLLIES! CANDY!! I’M POOR!
Ashleigh walks into the local pharmacy with a hideous rash. She is surprised to see her Officer Octogenarian…Philip Tayte. She gets along very well with “Ph” names. Coincidentally she likes pharmacies because of the “ph” as well.
Ashleigh: (Spots Philip and is quite happy to see him)
Philip: (She’s Ashleigh and seems quite happy to see her)
Ashleigh: Hi (Smiles really happy like)
Philip: Hey How’s it going?
Ashleigh: Going Good….
Philip: (Pauses for a moment) Did you want to get something here?
Ashleigh: (Awkwardly) Yes…I am having a allergic reaction on my neck. (Shows neck and slightly hideous rash of hives. HIVES!)
Philip: Oh do you know what it is from?
Ashleigh: (Shifty eyed) I think its from my necklace…(Shows golden necklace)
Philip: Well did you want tablets or cream
Ashleigh: Ummm I’m not sure which would be best?
Philip: Oh well I’ll go and check for you. (Meanders up to another pharmacist and asks him question)
Ashleigh admires the view and may or may not be looking at him longingly with romantical intentions. Philis noticing Ashleigh waddles over….
Philis: Hi Ashleigh…is this the guy you like?
Ashleigh: Shut up Philis….not so loud
Philis: I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll keep a look out for you with my fat eyes while you take him to the back room. (winks very obviously)
Ashleigh: (Blushes) No that won’t be necessary really.
Philip: (Walks over to creams and brings it back to Ashleigh) I think your best off using cream because you may be allergic to the nickel.
Ashleigh: Oh OK….(She is relieved that he didn’t hear anything Philis said and follows Philip over to counter…)
Princess Jo spots Ashleigh and bounces over happily.
Princess Jo: (Shouts) STAY AWAY FROM HIM HE’LL CHEAT ON YOU AND IS A HORRIBLE WOMANISER!
Ashleigh: And you know this because?
Princess Jo: I saw his entire photograph!
Philip: (Looks perplexed) stay away from who?
Philis: What? You can’t tell a guy is a womaniser just by his photography unless its one of those nude like ones in which he is caught in the act of womanising. I can’t be caught in any of this because I’m fat!
Ashleigh: Philis I highly doubt Philip is into pornography.
Philip: (Stares at Ashleigh and her friends awkwardly) Are you interested in getting a Sunflower Groups Pharmacy Members Card? It’s free!
Philis: That’s proof he is right there. You can’t be members of those companies they’ll sell your informations to people to them people. I think PJ is right.
Ashleigh: What people?
Princess Jo: Of course I am always right. STAY AWAY FROM HIM!
Ashleigh: Get lost both of you. (Hastily grabs purchase from Philip, she pushes past Princess Jo and Philis.)
Ashleigh is about to leave the pharmacy when two men wearing a purple uniforms accost her two Fergaria-Finbarton Bureau of Investigations agents Lauren Such And Such and Mike Queensburry.
Lauren: FFBI Hold it are right there!
Mike: Ashleigh McGlongakic you’re under arrest for stalking!
Mike: Hev-Lady made an anonymous tip you’d be here stalking…
Lauren: Yes she are said to be on the look out for a NERD nerdy retarded weird looking girl in a pink shirt.
Ashleigh: First off it’s Hevlynn! Secondly if it’s anonymous then why did you just say who told you? And thirdly I am not wearing a pink shirt.
Lauren: We are forgot?
Mike: You’re face is pink?
Lauren: I’ll pink your face!
Mike: I’ll face your pink?
Lauren: Yay you is learning well….
Mike: Oh thank you….
Lauren: Hey don’t try and sneak away!
Ashleigh: I haven’t even moved!
The FFBI agents arrest Ashleigh for obsessive stalking…and being too nerdy…..THE END?
Now I know one or so of my friends doesn’t somewhat approve of my affections for him, but to be honest I don’t care. I’ve decided to go for it. I am past the whole crushing and admiring from afar. It’s fun and exciting, but it’s entirely sad and painful like too. Life is too short to hang out admiring from the sidelines. Yes it’s true I admit it. I am hung up on and entire guy. AN ENTIRE GUY! I’ll like who I like and if he turns out to be no good I’ll learn from my mistakes. I don’t need to be sheltered. My Mom contrary to popular belief never did she always was upfront and honest with me and she told me to go with what I feel is best. I respect my friends concern for my feelings and I am thankful they have my best interests at heart but, I just ask that they are still there for me “if” I come down in flames.
P.S. The dress didn’t fit!
A Life of Choice
7 years ago