This age old question still haunts me since the day I decided I wanted to be a writer.
What do I want to write about?
It’s usually subconscious but it start as soon as my fingers grace the keyboard of my computer or the pen I am holding begins to scribble the many scrambled thoughts and ideas that cluttered within. Some days, like today I do think to myself now what is it that I want to write?
When I stop and think about it, is when I just write until the idea that I meant to have comes pouring out from the very depths of my soul. For instance I was just randomly free writing and journaling and I suddenly thought how strange some new friends I’ve become acquainted with slowly. I’m not going to say who or where I know them...(anonymity reasons of course) They claim to be Christian but proudly announce how they drink, party, smoke and participate in certain activities which go against the morals you would normally associate with Christianity. So would this in fact make them hypocrites or perhaps contradictory. I’m not judging them or anything I just find it strange. Humanity is strange structures and boxes where suppose to fit into are so engrained in us, that to merely survive some sort of societal structure or label is needed to understand anything in life. Even language! So if you attach the label of Christian (because I definitely think it is one) but the label doesn’t match, then what?
I also think it’s interesting how another Christian friend has this image of God as kindly old man like Santa Claus or Albus Dummbledore and after reading the Old Testament in the Bible particularly in Ezekiel where God kills Ezekiel’s wife as part of a prophecy and proceeded to tell him how he wasn’t allowed to mourn. This is of course added to the other things God demanded of him, which by today’s standards is pretty obscene. It’s because of this her whole image was shattered and she became irate with another group member about it. Boo hoo! God can be mean, yet there is usually a purpose for it.
This reminds me of a conversation I had with Matthew ages ago. He was teasing a fellow Bible study member and I said he was mean and he replied so God is mean.
I don’t get it if God is supposedly perfect then why the temper tantrums which are seemingly imperfect. (I am meandering the line of sacrilege and am imagining God with a lightning bolt to strike me dead for asking the questions I do.) He also created humans? But why? Devoted Christians says it’s part of his plan, but what is his plan exactly?
Me I have no set image of God. He is kind of like this big invisible force everywhere at once. I know he is out there, powerful, temperamental and with a very strange sense of humour. I also don’t blame him for being cranky from time to time either, despite the fact that crankiness is also imperfect.
Gah my brain hurts from thinking too much! Anyways....
P.S. Chaz scratched my fingers up. Ah the joy of kitties.