Dinner for T-Rex in Outer Space

I’ve had some interesting dreams lately.

For starters I keep getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus rex but I am not really scared of it. This T-rex seems to be a reoccurring character.

In this recent dream I was on space station or at least a building that I would say is technologically profound compared to now. Ashleigh McGlonagick would most likely remark that she was in nerd NERDY retarded paradise, but anyways Rex was on the lose eating the residents. Now that I think of it was kind of like the Alien movies, except it was a carnivorous dinosaur. Strangely enough the T-rex had a lizard tongue. I am not sure how to describe it but he or she or perhaps it as I am not sure of the sex of the beast, I am not really sure it matters. Gender doesn’t seem to be an issue for dinosaurs only humans. Hence the dinosaur could grab his victims with its tongue and swallow them whole. The more Rex ate the bigger he became.

Some of the survivors including me managed to capture him and put the monster into a jail cell. (A very dark cell.) In other words I kind of felt bad for Rex all alone in a cell. He seemed to shrink a bit too. However those in charge of the place were worried he would escape, so two guards were chosen to watch over the prison, one of them being me. Ironically I think I was male, equipped with military knowledge and physically fit, basically I potentially had the ability to out run Rex.

However, Rex somehow tricked the other guard into letting him out but disguising himself, rather badly as a pregnant old lady woman. I think this term was used as well as I was aware of his deception. Rex some how put on wig and an ugly blue dress. I was increasingly aware of the shadowy figure lurking in the jail cell.

Sure enough as soon as he escaped him ate the other guard who freed him. He began to chase me. I shot at him trying to shot his tongue off as that was his primary means eating. Sadly I was caught and he was about to eat me head first, but somehow he was stopped by another guard who came to help me. I thought perhaps it was a stomach upset as he had eaten a lot. I then remember grabbing the t-rex unnaturally little arms and pinned him to the wall with magnetic cups while he squirmed and resisted.

Later it was found out that the people he ate were still alive. It was merely a matter of getting them out of his stomach. I could see and hear people inside him. It was entirely weird.

P.S. It was sometime in April 2004 that I was thinking of going to Australia.

A Product of my Procrastination

I eat my feelings!

Damn you and your cheese talk!

WHO ASKED YOU SQIUGGLEBUM?

Did you remember your sock spray? Otherwise learn how to swim.

Ugachaka!

I burn things…

Socks live in here!

Socks do NOT live here.

No Socks Allowed!

Nobody socks here anymore...

“Je suis un chef de doo de doo!”

“The world is like Big W. W unknown.”

“Free will would be eating the hats.”

“It’s so romantic. I need some rope.”

“Someone is having a barbeque.”

“You’re a house ninja.”

What does the K in K-mart stand for?

“What that’s terrible!”

“Oh no it’s a pregnant old lady man monster!”

“A fogery pregnant old lady man monster stole your towel, love the Tooth Fairy!”

“The cupboard door is not your sex toy.”

“I eat children.”

“Children are not food.”

“Thanks Tickelface! (P.S. You spelt “tickle” wrong. Love the Grammar Nazi!)

“That’s Tops!”

“When a woman has a baby she gets pregnant for seven months to a dogface lady man.”

What is this random garble of words and sentences? Why they are house sayings, Chris-isms, Melissa-isms, A.E.S.M-isms, inside-joke-isms and random-targets-towards-housemate-isms. I wonder how many can figure which ism they belong too. Why so many ism’s? For the last couple of weeks I have been a sign maker and putting these random sayings all over the flat, most likely out of randomness or procrastination.

Hey! My classes are very complicated this term. I am homesick! I have a lot on my mind. Procrastination is a wonderfully quick cure, so what if I am screwing myself in the end. :P

I can’t believe its April already in two months my random adventures in Australia may be nothing but memories. It makes me really sad. Perhaps my procrastination is a product of me wanting to prolong my stay?

Well yesterday would be the first time I met MEAN Canadians. They were entirely rude and unfriendly to me. ENTIRELY RUDE! Maybe it’s because I was working at Big W. I really wanted to tell them to go back to Canada, because they are making other Canadians look like hosers. I reckon they were Americans in disguise as Canadians, using our hard earned respect so people will be nice to them, mostly because they sounded American at first. It really annoys me to no end when Americans go overseas and pretend to be Canadians, because people are nicer to them. Half the time they can’t get it right either. My country earned the right for people to be nice to them because we are nice and Americans have no right to use our national identity as a way to be treated better. I am sorry but it's there fault people hate them so much. Sorry that's just my rant for the day. Nothing against Americans who actually say they are American by they way.

I have also been watching that Moment of Truth show. I am confused as to why one would publicly humiliate themselves whilst allowing complete strangers in there living rooms’ leagues away into their deep and personal secrets. I guess the lust for money and 15 minutes or so of fame is enough for them. I remember watching last weeks episode, which was apparently one of the most controversial ones in which a wife pretty much destroyed her entire marriage on national television. She lost it all on one question "Do you think you are a good person?" She said yes. However, her behaviour would imply other wise. She just previously finished answering a question beforehand which asked if she had sexual relations with someone other than her husband. The husband must have been just as humiliated. She lost more than $100,000, but that's just my opinion. I find humanity to be a very curious species indeed and to be a part of it confuses me just as much.

This blog entry is a product of my procrastination as well as rantings, musings and a very special e-mail chain. I really honestly should get on track.

P.S. This entry is actually being published on a Friday and not a Sunday. :P