I’m making my blog public again!
Well it appears I have neglected this space for sometime. I will admit the last few months since the “Red Sweater Apology” fiasco and how the “poisonous secret ” came out. I’ve had troubles writing. I feel like I have to censor myself. So yes there may be something’s people don’t like, but they can choose not to read it. If I wrote something offensive towards someone then they can tell me and I will try to make amends but I won’t apologise for who I am anymore. I like to write and I am brutally honest, the end!
But I digress I shall write what I came to write about…which is why I want to make it public again.
They’ve found me….I don’t know how but they found me! Actually I do, I gave them my number. I was minding my own business eating an everything bagel with cream cheese (nom, nom, nom :P) When my phone rang when who should it be but Mormon Missionaries!
Me: (eating my yummy bagel when the phone rings)
Guy on phone: Hi Melissa it’s the Missionaries!
Me: Urgh? OK?
Me thinking: WTF?
Missionary person: Can we come visit you sometime?!
Me thinking: NO NEVER!
Me: I guess….
Missionary: (sort of picking up my apprehension) OK so are you free next week sometime?
Me: Yes….Ummm I moved…
Missionary: Oh OK? Where do you live?
Me: Well I live…
Me thinking: IDIOT! Why did I just tell him that?
Missionary: OK we’ll call next week and maybe you’re free so we can visit.
Me thinking: HELP, HELP HELP!
I specifically told them when I had my name removed NOT to contact me and I thought perhaps I was lucky and they decided to accept my request. Like I’ve said before I made up my mind, my decision was final and according to them I am no longer a member, why did they wait till now to contact me. According to them I am eternally damned and I cannot receive exaltation, etc.
Thoughts like these popped up moments later:
Is this a time for apologetics?
No wait I cannot attack their faith!
Maybe this is an opportunity to tell someone from the church how I really feel?
Are they trying to reconvert me?
If I am no longer and inactive member does this mean I am investigator again?
God help me!
Why didn’t I just tell them on the phone I wasn’t interested?
I could have mentioned how I am no longer a member?
I could talk to the pastor of my church?
No, no I should face them on my own. They are not bad people!
Religion and I are like oil and water, we just don’t mix well. Last night I dreamt I was standing before a large lake wearing a pretty gold robe and the pastor baptised me. Just before this I felt sickening anxiety I DID not want to do it, but I told myself that I should get it over and done with because I do believe. During the baptism which magically was in the baptismal font I inhaled water and drowned. I believe in God, but I don’t want to be tied down to any specific denomination. I am OK to call myself Christian, but I don’t want to be a Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Catholic, etc. I just want to believe in God, frequent a church that believes in Him too, but no one seems to understand that.
P.S. I miss my doggy :(