What a stupid name!

From reading previous stories I have written lately. I can sense that I am on some sort of science fiction like kick. Lately I am obsessed with two particular planets with in the solar system, Neptune and Uranus.

The science fiction like ramblings can be found here

Now I have come to this conclusion Uranus is a stupid name for a planet. Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Venus, Mars, Mercury, all cool names, Uranus, plain stupid! They should have stuck to the original name suggested for it.

It was first named Georgium Sidus. It means Star of George, named in honour of King George III by it’s discover in 1781 Sir William Herschel, but no they just had to give it the name, which is now subjected to ridiculous jokes. I suppose it’s because they had to be in theme with the whole Greek and Roman mythology theme, which makes sense but still, Uranus?
This odd name brings up memories from high school when we were studying astronomy. We each had to pick a planet to do a presentation on. No one wanted to pick Uranus, including me. I picked Neptune. The student, who was stuck with Uranus, was subject to humiliation. I remember the science teacher saying how cool the planet was and how it’s pronounced your-ran-us and not your anus.

Uranus also reminds me of Futurama, in a particular episode Fry is using Professor Farnsworth’s smellascope, an instrument used to smell heavenly bodies, in which Saturn smells like strawberries. Anyways Fry excitedly asks if he can smell Uranus. Professor Farnsworth then answers his query by saying the name of the planet has been changed due to the jokes surrounding it. The new name? Urectum. Quite the change indeed! Coincidentally Fry comes across a big giant ball of 20th century garbage, which threatens to destroy New New York, but enough about that.

Uranus is a unique planet in my opinion it spins on its side, has 21 confirmed moons, some them named by famous characters in written works by playwright William Shakespeare and poet Alexander Pope and it has a vast ocean, which is extremely hot, it temperature reaching 6650°C.

And its because of this fascination with planets I wonder why I became a writer and not an astronomer like I intended to in the first place.

And now some sad news…Wild Will is now being retired…the last story ever has been written about him. Here….warning its mean…It was half written when I was mad at someone and half written when I no longer was…you’ll know who once you read it.

And now some happy news…after some talk and deliberation…Wild Will has come out of retirement one the basis that will be no more stories about the A.E.S.M.

Finbarpurpleton: Owe My Entire Brain!

Today I think I might take the time to tell you about my story…

Oh right!

I can’t really describe what it’s about because even though I have written up 17 chapters now. That’s right 17 chapters I still have no idea where it’s going. It’s officially become the longest most strangely random story I have ever written.

Here’s what I think it might be about:

It involves the adventures of Bamboozles crime fighting duo Captain Bottle Pop and Mrs. Bruce Willis Man. Some say their superheroes but it’s apparent that they are actually super bullies. Sarah Evans a reporter along with her dog Finbarpurpleton vow to uncover the truth about them. Along the way other insane characters are introduced as well as random chaos. Not to mention the most beautiful boy ever seen and the dreaded unspeakable name.

Some words I would use to describe it:

Random
Weird
Strange
Entertaining
Bizarre characterization
Beautiful people
Meanness
Sarcastic
Unexpected tragic deaths
Plot holes galore!
Unusual character names

I wonder, could it be published? My reasoning for this constant thought is: I know I partly write it because it gives me self amusement but if I spend so much time writing I might as well consider it.

You can read it here if you’re so inclined to do so. Let me know what you think.

I've been everywhere, from east to west to down under!

I have come to the conclusion that I really don’t have a home town, but I have learnt that it’s not the place that is home it’s the family.

Here is a list of places that I have lived and still has importance to me. These are all the places I’ve uncoolified, due to my presence. Ha ha just kidding. So far I have lived in Eastern Canada, Western Canada and Australia.

Nanaimo B.C. : I was born here…It’s a nice city on Vancouver Island. I don’t remember much but I do remember buying a bouncy ball from a pharmacy near my home. It got deflated and I had to keep pestering my mom to buy me a new one.

The Hazeltons B.C.: The Hazeltons you ask? It’s merely more than one town. There are Old Hazelton, New Hazelton, and South Hazelton. The Hazeltons are a logging community in Northern British Columbia. It was a some what thriving community until they shut the mill down. Now it is slowly becoming a ghost town. I consider it special because my brother was born in New Hazelton. Also there is heaps of family living there so even though we moved we did have a good reason to come back to visit. The scenery is beautiful. Majestic mountains and wildlife were common scenes, but it has the life of small town.

Cashe Creek B.C.: One of Grandmas lives there. It a small town too, right on the Trans Canada Highway, so there were a lot of tourists and people passing through on their way to Vancouver. There was nothing interesting about this place and if you wanted to go see a movie it was an hour and half away.

Ashcroft B.C.: This place was in the close vicinity of Cashe Creek. Its pretty much the same because it is also a small town. It is also very hot in summer because it was decided to locate it in a hot valley. The only thing interesting here is watching the tumbleweeds blow by and seeing the somewhat historic buildings. Apparently they have filmed a lot of movies here because of its location.

Pictou N.S.: My British Grandma lives here. It is situated in Eastern Canada of more correctly The Maritimes. The claim to fame? Perhaps the ship Hector which brought over Scottish settlers. Nova Scotia was on of the first provinces to become Canada and it’s a tourist hotspot, which means a lot of Americans

New Glasgow N.S.: Oddly enough close to Pictou. What can I say it’s pretty much the same except slightly bigger. Its interesting to note that my Mom was born here. It is also a tourist destination. However people in Eastern Canada are a lot friendlier.

Lethbridge A.B.: I lived here for a majority of my teenage life…actually I spent all of my teenage years there. Lethbridge is an OK city. I used to hate it but now that I haven’t been there in 10 months I really miss it. I went to high school and college here. Places of interest, that are a definite attractions are The Downtown Post Office, Nikka Yuko Japanese Gardens, High Level Bridge, Sir Alexander Galt Museum, Indian Battle Park and Fort Whoop Up. Its actually a pretty cool place to visit if you can stand dorks calling it L.A., the brutally cold winters, although those don’t last long due to Chinooks, then there of course humid and hot summers, yes summer, the 100 km winds, and the onslaught of American Christmas shoppers who come every year because of its proximity to the American border.

Rockhampton Australia: I think I write about my experiences in this blog enough that it does not warrant a detailed description.

Note: B.C. means British Columbia, N.S. means Nova Scotia and A.B. means Alberta. All three are provinces in Canada.

Which is funnier A: Finbarpurpleton or B: FERGUS! or C: Bigfoots Chest hair!

Just like Chris I found a name that makes me laugh or at least amuses me. It’s FINBARPURPLETON, I was writing my story when the name suddenly came to me. It made me laugh, but then again it’s not as funny as the name FERGUS! And just like that name it is also a dastardly unspeakable name.

This has inspired a Carol story, which I did say I was never writing again, but anyways.

Melissa: What do you think of the name Finbarpurpleton? It makes me laugh myself silly.
Carol: What are you a child?
Melissa: No…oh OK what about the name Fergus! My friend Chris seems to think it is pretty funny.
Carol: Oh that’s right you’re a weird NERDY retarded weird girl. Because you keep asking nerdy retarded questions and making up stupid names.
Melissa: Yeah well at least I have an imagination…and you’re FAT!
Carol: I hate you. (punches Melissa in the face) I thought you said you weren’t going to write mean stories about me anymore.
Melissa: Owwwwwwweeeeee! I was just stating a fact its nothing to get violent over and well ummm…you inspire me because you’re fat.
Carol: Nooo facts can’t be stated they can only be stored like fat….like my fat.
Melissa: (sighs) My Face hurts.
Carol: My fat hurts.

And Chapter 12 of my story is now up. You can read it here if you’re so inclined to do so.

Today after six days of doing nothing at all because lets face it I am lazy I had work. It was surprisingly busy. The kitchen was a mess…it was blissful chaos. It reminded me of what real restaurant should be like. For the first hour all I think I saw was rice. I made three 20 litre containers of rice, then a plethora of dishes and soon after I made 30 rolls of sushi for a catering function and the twilight markets. I like working were I work, the pay is decent and the staff are cool.

Unfortunately, I have to look for a new job because they haven’t been giving me hours…it seems the only way to get a decent amount of hours is to be either A. 14 years old or B. Korean or ethnic like. The last remark was not meant as a prejudice remark as I was just stating a fact. I mean it’s not my fault they want cheap labour and an authentic ethnic feel about their restaurant. So now the job hunt begins….