Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Meet Ashleigh McGlonagkic: A nerd NERDY retarded weird girl.

This entry will be all about strangeness….How a sudden real life moment, dream or people can inspire a story… Chapter 43…is almost done. I promise!

Never mind I’ll turn over my blog to my alter ego Ashleigh McGlonagkic seeing as it was brought to my attention that she is not a fully developed character as the others in my book. I thought perhaps a blog entry on her would be insightful. Actually it was something Amy said in her review, that Ashleigh is a prominent character in the way that the other characters feed off of her. I know what she meant but I am not sure how to describe it.

So here it is…introducing the nerdy one.

Dear blogosphere of hopefully intelligent humans:

I am Ashleigh “Ash-Lady” D3 McGlonagkick. As most of you may all ready know I am a former Neptunian science droid from Neptune’s inner core. I’ll make it clear now that my family and I have legal Fergarian citizenship. So all you wanksters out there who keep trying to have my Mom, Grandma and brother and I deported…you better shut your pieholes!

The strangest thing someone has said to me recently, since moving to Bamboozle would have to be Nigel Bottington. Philis usually takes the cake on random eccentricities (more like eats the cake) but Nigel is another exception.

On February 22 I received news about myself I never even knew. Nigel told me during an interview as a potential photojournalist for Bamboozle Times, that in there’s a statue of me in Quebec Canada, where everyone celebrates Ashleigh Day?

Read Below:

Nigel: I didn't know they had a statue of you in Quebec!!
Me: What?
Nigel: There is a big statue of you in Quebec made of marble and gold.
Me: As if!
Nigel: And February 9th is National Ashliegh McGlonagkic Day and everyone has to wear homemade Rottweiler hats. And in workplaces, it's a competition and the person with the coolest hat gets a lock of your hair as a prize!
Me: Yeah right! Do they read from the sacred Ashliegh McGlonagkic text?
Nigel: Absolutely! Every Sunday, there is a big meeting in the place where your statue is and they prey for you to come back.
Me: My ass they do? I never heard of this so called celebration.
Nigel: That's because it are in Toronto. When was the last time you were in Toronto?
Me: I was 11 the last time I was in Toronto. Also Toronto is in the province of Ontario a completely different province to Quebec.
Nigel: I See? It uh... was only started a few years ago.
Me: Oh really...
Nigel: Yes…

Recently before applying to Bamboozle Times my good friend and me Philis Philmore a.k.a. the Fat Complainer used to work at a sanatorium in which we cared for frail pregnant old lady men. After we were fired for a indiscretion, no doubt caused by Philis, we each applied for numerous jobs as waitresses, astrophysicists, marine biologists, ice cream makers and coffee specialists.

This brings me to my next point. I am tired of is Philis constantly calling me a nerd NERDY retarded weird girl. She says it so much I keep looking in the mirror before I go to bed and reiterate the phrase over and over again.

I would also like to write some random fascinating fact for you all to read but I’m afraid that the computer might explode and the readers mind will implode causing them to collapse into a heap.

Thanks for you short span of attention,

Ashleigh

2 comments:

Tohou Lidia said...

Hahahahaha! I love it!

And i love the picture of Mrs Lachlan's Mum!

-Amy

Tohou Lidia said...

Hey Melissa!
I just read Chapter 43!!!

It was great cause you started to bring the media and journalism in again :) I are loved it!

AND WILD WILL!!!

He's my canine love...i know iknow...its beastiality but if Mrs Lachlan's mum can do it so can I!!

Luv Amy