Ripple Effects

I am done uni in an entire week. AN ENTIRE WEEK! I am one step closer to finishing my degree or should I say one assignment closer. If only I could get past this writers block, this mental anguish. I am seriously procrastinating to the max this year. So much in fact how about pretty much writing an oral presentation on the day it is due! Luckily I got through OK….I surprisingly got a HD!

So here is another addition to my scramblings of things I have written meant for my blog, but have probably lost its timeliness, a very importanty thing in the world of journalism. Anyways, back to the oral presentation…I wrote it on the most seriously awesome book I have ever read, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller. So I was comfortable with it and I knew how to answer it.
However, I am petrified of public speaking, I couldn’t speak, I kept fumbling the words while reading it and felt like I was having some sort of out of body experience. I am not afraid of the people in my class as such, but more afraid of what they think of interpretations, that they’d think it was a bunch of bullshit or completely wrong, luckily in my class The Modern Novel there is no right or wrong answer it is interpretation, well to an extent. However, I digress I am rambling on and forgetting why I am really writing about all this.

I finally figured out that I do want to be in the journalism field, not a journalist as such, but a columnist that writes about the oddity stories or someone who writes book and/or movie reviews and of course a novelist. I definitely do not want to be in the broadcasting field because it is kind of like the oral presentation, but times then ten people in the class by a million. They call it mass communication for a reason. I guess I don’t see these people watching me on the television, but I know they are there. If that makes any logical sense.

It came to me at the end of this while discussing it with the lecturer. He mentioned that if I was going to be a teacher, (most students in the class are studying to be one) that I should be using audio visual aids and be comfortable with public speaking. So I told him I wanted to be a writer and the other stuff just came out. I suddenly felt like I had an epiphany and I wanted to tell everyone my idea, specifically my mom and grandma.

This must telling of my sudden realisation of dreams led to starting to like Grandma Sue-Woman after a really good chat. I liked her the same way I did when I was little. I suddenly was able to be honest with her in a non-angering way. I kind of realised I still would not be in Australia if it wasn’t for her or my grandfather. She is controlling, (and she does own me to an extent), but I don’t think she is aware of it, it has become so internalised and natural to her that she just does it and I don’t think she does if completely for the sake of being controlling, she does it because she wants what is best for the people she loves and cares about. So maybe she should be Sue-Lady? She also has a way with words, she is very diplomatic I am never really sure she is agreeing with me or deceiving me into thinking that she is and I am really agreeing with her. I am not sure how to explain. Anyways, I really envy her talent.

The Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum in Superheroes, not the Chris’s Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum (They are very similar, but have different interpretations to an extent) may be based on her just a tiny bit. I see a bit of my grandma in her. Sue-Woman is very cultured and into the whole being a good female kind of person. This is going to sound even weirder but I see a bit of Grandma Jim-Lady in Fergus. I won’t go into this one. It’s like all the characters I created they are either many facets of myself or different pieces of people I know.

I can’t wait for uni to finish so I can start the sequels to Song of the Superheroes. The one I started No Dogs Allowed To Drink Fizzy Lemonade (I combined the titles :P Read previous entries if you have no idea what I am talking about) is more about Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum ironically and so is the sequel The Bamboozle Blues are for Convenience Sake. Oh and I am really excited Wild Will my cult character has more of a role in both and I think I am bringing the whole problem solving thing in, but it’s NOT the same as the A.E.S.M stories or at least I hope it doesn’t end up that way because I remember Chris saying I probably shouldn’t be bringing that element in the Song of the Superheroes because it would turn into a Wild Will story and Sarah Evans may be forgotten. Anyways, I can manage the mental strength I will begin as soon as I hand in the last dastardly assignment on Friday night! Heck Yes!!! I have five left…. So I guess you can imagine by reading this blog I am procrastinating once more, but not to stress I know it will get done. It always does, despite the late nights listening to the child next door scream and the annoyance of people making the click clack noise on the keyboards on the computers at the uni library.

So I guess the point of this is to say that for every instance there is a ripple effect. A scary oral presentation leads to an epiphany, which leads to me feeling good about myself, which then leads to me talking to Grandma Sue-Woman and understanding her a bit better and then finally this blog entry. Perhaps I think about things too much.

P.S. I am done uni on Friday!!!

Procrastination causes randomness!!!

1. Justin
2. Joan
3. Louie
4. Shane
5. Kayla
6. Corrin
7. Lyndin (I think that’s his name)
8. Kristine
9. Kumar
10. Daryn
11. Mohammad
12. Taryn
13. Maria
14. Christie
15. Dave
16. Jenifer
17. Elise
18. Sam

I’ve had 18 different flatmates.>

And now

19. Justine

5 out of 18 were bad apples – 28%
3 out of 18 did a lot of ummmm…screwing – 17%
2 out of 18 were anti social – 11%
3 out of 18 I got along with but never really got to know properly – 17%
5 out of 18 were awesome – 28%

As you can see I’ve thought a lot about flatmates and some random made up words, which I think are too weird to post, but were merely part of an idea for another story.

I’ve become a dastardly procrastinator. For starters I just finished an assignment that was due on Friday. I didn’t begin it till Friday night. Luckily the lecturer said we could submit the assignment over the weekend, as he wasn’t checking until Monday afternoon. Phew!!! However, I digress I ended up finding the assignment rather interesting and easy. I could have done it way sooner and got it out of the way, why did I choose to procrastinate? Oh the shame! This blog entry aids in further procrastination. Rather than go into details about

Let me tell you a story.

Me: (Quietly discussing something related to my superheroes characters about another sequel yes another I may or may on elaborate on it as of yet).
Justine: Are you OK Mel?
Me: (Cringes as improper use of name) Yes
Justine: Who are you talking too?
Me: Myself….
Awkwardy silence
Me: I day dream about my stories and I tend to get carried away sometimes.

I wonder if maybe my imagination about stories has run off with me, to the point that I rather sit and muse about them continuously. I’ve done it since I was seven. I tend to day dream a lot when I am stressed or upset about something, when I want to escape. It’s also evidently these times when I come up with my best ideas. When I day dream I get really into it to the point that I take on a role of one of the characters or various characters and begin talking to them like they are really there, yet I know they aren’t. I recognise that I am in this imaginary realm, but the longer I get into it the longer I can sense the line between imaginary and the real kind of blurring. Sometimes I pace the floor in my room or I do something that I can do with out properly thinking. My imaginations tend to take on top priority. I am worried sometimes that I am losing touch with reality. I’ve never mentioned this to anyone before. I am plain old addicted to this form of escapism. I feel better, I feel safer and somewhat productive because I am coming up with ideas for my stories.

It makes me wonder if when I reply that I am talking to myself am I merely talking to myself or many versions of me or am I talking to imaginary beings that I have brought into imaginary existence. Let’s face it I am embarrassed that I was caught in the act. Normally I make sure I am on my own, but sometimes I do participate in it when I am around people. According to my Mom I get a really blank stare that looks like I am very deep in thought. My cousin onetime told me my mouth moves sometimes, but I think she was more annoyed by it than freaked out by it. So if any of you have seen me do any of those things I am probably imagineering something.

P.S. Is there something wrong with me?

Flatmate troubles!

Whenever I am stressed the strangest things get to me. Like people typing on a computer next to me. The little light sounds of click clack just irritates me some. It just the way a particular person is typing. I lose all ability to concentrate. I want to take a pen and stab myself with it so the irritation will seise. I want to pull out my hair and stream just to rid myself of the bizarre irritation. It’s happening again, two girls sit beside me and talk quietly in the low whispery voice. There is just something about that low whispery voice that irritates the hell out of me. These kinds of things get to me when I am stressed and I think I have a good reasons to base all of it on. Hence I should warn you this entry may be a bit long.

Assignments: again with the “owe my entire brain!” Literary theory, novels, I’ll be glad to go back to a period of non-reading.

Homesickness: Enough said!

Flatmates: This requires a bit more explanation.

It all started with a coffee tableon Friday last week and an ended with the disappearance of a kettle cord this previous Thursday, but the explorations and discovery began with the removal of the house sayings on Saturday.

Goodbye house sayings/signs. They were nothing more than a passive aggressive attempt to pay both flatmates out and make it look I was having a go at myself too for good measure. That was more like the no offence clause. You know when your about to insult someone you say “no offence” as a scapegoat so you can get out of trouble. The all intelligent flatmate and the nice underestimated flatmate took no notice of this. Except for the socks, that was an obvious go. The many references to socks worked Sam-Lady (She wasn’t MEAN enough to have the “Woman” on the end of her name) no longer left her socks and clothing lying around. However, she was forced out by meanness by the all intelligent I am so up myself I think I am better than everyone else in the entire world because it revolves around me flatmate a.k.a Elise-Woman (She no longer deserves to be called Elise-Lady). So I decided the sock signs no longer had a purpose.

Then there was the signs referencing Big-W, cheese, K-Mart, being a house ninja. They were jabs too or more like reminders of a certain flatmates one-liners and pay outs towards me. I was throwing them back in her face, but she in her all intelligence never once figured it out. I was trying to show how insensitive she was, how mildly uncaring she is, (well she is a sociopath!). So I decide these signs no longer served their purpose either. I also realised I shouldn’t pay myself out for others benefit.

Poor Sam had to move, I can’t help thinking I had a part to play in this as well. I didn’t want the previously aforementioned sociopathic flatmate Elise to hate me, so I bid into her sphere of influence. I hid Sam’s towel. I put up passive aggressive signs. I dobbed her in with management because of her smelly room and had no intention of telling her about the impending room inspection. I talked badly behind her back because I liked the sense of power I felt in doing so. She was alienated and didn’t feel like she even lived her. How could I be so horrible? This was to someone who wanted to be my friend. I can now honestly say I never hated her.

For some reason I just don’t like not being liked. I am sick of letting myself be swayed and sucked in by these types of people, such as Elise. Why do I allow myself to be manipulated by them? I came in contact with someone similar before I left Australia and now ironically I have before I leave. Even more strange is the fact I lived with both of them. One convinced me I had mental issues and the other convinced me to act on my dark side. I quit my job at Pixi Foto because of acting on the dark side. I dumped someone that I knew liked me for me because I was influenced to act on my shallow side. I even have one of those types of people now that has followed me everywhere my entire life, who I know I will never be free of.

I guess I should now mention that I was caught in the middle of a flatmate war. I was neutral, Switzerland you could say. I played on both sides of the argument. I agreed with what both were upset about. For starters, I agreed with Elise that housework should be done by all equally. Washing up and cleaning up your rubbish is common sense. The bare minimum would have been suffice for me. Although I am sure it would be for Elise. Secondly, I agreed with Sam. No one has the right to make you feel like you are not welcome in your own home or judge you because you don’t go to uni and get HD’s in every subject. I also under I understand being tired when working 12 hours a day. I also agree that if Elise had a problem with Sam she SHOULD have told her so instead of leaving nasty notes on her door.

It was after this I suddenly realised Elise isn’t a very nice person. Come to think of it she leaves her shit around too! The lounge room table has a pile of magazines, her painting stuff is everywhere and she leaves her stupid pictures, maybe to remind everyone how more artistically talented and intelligent she is or something.

I managed to make her hate. Because I see both sides I ended up making things worse. Or as she so eloquently put it “Those who play for both sides of the fence end up impaling themselves. Well done!” She said it with such venom. I could feel my heart sinking to my stomach. And why did she say this too me? She overheard me warning Sam to collect her stuff because Elise wanted to make timber out of her ugly coffee table. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to repeat this to Sam as it may have been confidential, but I wouldn’t put it past Elise do something like that. Come to think of it I said that with in ear shot too, perhaps that was the problem. She stopped talking too me, but I am glad because I no longer can be controlled by her sphere of influence as I am not allowed back in it.

Because of it a new war has broke out between Elise and I. This time there is no Switzerland. The flat has descended into disruptive silence, an oxymoronic conundrum. I say disruptive because it was uncomfortable and angry silence and silence because well it was silent. The only safe haven was my room and it felt like that was were I belonged, while Elise figured she could own the entire flat.

By Tuesday, I had a vendetta. The three days of silence had eroded my common sense. It had driven me insane. I wanted Elise to feel like Sam did, like I was at that very moment. I started to hate her I became obsessed with hating her. I wanted her out of my flat. This anger and hatred were eating at me alive. I realised it was poison and futile attempt as people like her never see it the other way. They are drowned by their arrogance. I just couldn’t let go.

Little did I realise it was merely just karma at work and I was learning how Sam felt. It’s not very nice, Latter apologised to her. She was acting like the flat was hers and I was getting sick of it. So on Wednesday began to act on my passive aggressive nature. I moved the TV remote to random places. It only happened twice that day, once in the draw where we keep the telephone books and the second time in the kitchen drawer. It was an attempt to tell her. I am here too and it’s also my flat. You don’t own the entire television set! I was hoping that perhaps maybe she’d say, “Melissa where is the remote?” or “why did you hide the remote?” But no she found it and the silence continued. I was merely trying to open the lines of communication, but it was a failed miserable attempt. In retrospect I should have talked to her. And said she was being childish, etc.

That evening in my insomnia I realised I should let it go. However I had hid the remote a second time before bed and I figured I’d put it back where it belongs in the morning. However, I should unhide it at that moment because Elise decided to hide the kettle cord the next morning. I should have seen it coming. It’s quite brilliant actually. I was amused by it for some reason. I use the kettle more so than the television. I have a bit of a tea obsession recently. Oh wow she cared to notice. However, I only hid the remote around the house, she hid it in her entire room because she knew I couldn’t get it back. She was one up on my on this little battle.

Then I decided that perhaps I should stop and look at my own childish behaviour. I went to the managers and admitted to hiding the remote saying I was trying to get her attention as she was ignoring me. I surprising didn’t get in trouble although I felt that I should have. Elise on the other hand got a notice of remedy breach, a warning for her bad behaviour, which I so eloquently put on her door. I had the upper hand this time, but I didn’t feel any better for it. She wasn’t evicted, but close too it. She in return left a note on my door that accusing me of not telling the whole truth. I replied with another note that said I did tell the truth about the remote, I realised I was being childish and there is a difference between the two implements involved. She ripped it up and stuck it back to her door. It would have been so much more effective if she stuck it too mine, but who cares.

So as you can see if I wanted to repair the damage, it’s too late now. That is why it ends with the kettle. Why would I want to be friends with someone who brags about picking up random men, actually brings them home, makes me feel bad for being a virgin, who is mean for no reason, but to be mean and has a prejudice towards people who are not at her level of intelligence. I’ve lost respect for so I couldn’t care less if she hates me. Then again it saddens me a bit because we did have some good times together. Perhaps that was the impalement she was telling me about? Anyways what I am getting at is, I am Libran and weigh both sides out, hence the scales, I finally saw Sam as the one with more merit and I sided with her. THE END! I am finished my amazingly long rant. However getting this out has made feel better…I seem to be having this cleansing type process lately, where I am just unloading all of my feelings out into the nothingness of the web. Now that this is out in the open I can no longer dwell. My 5 days of dwelling, which should have been 30 is now entirely over.

P.S. I obess too much.

Owe my entire beautiful brain!

I’ve been dabbling random thoughts in my journal lately in attempts to possibly construct a useful entry, but it’s a garbled mess of musings from the past two weeks that make no sense to me, but perhaps it will to you.

I highly suspect someone invisible uttered an unspeakable F name of a certain headache causing variety, because I am not acting like a chicken, laughing uncontrollably, jumping up and down because of a board game, (although I am suddenly really wanting to play Monopoly purely for procrastination type purposes) and unfortunately not taking a nice long nap. Did I mention I want to take a really nice long nap? Perhaps it will cure my headacheyness, which of course is another made up word. Come to think of it is probably this insane amount of literary theory by crazy French men, which is really interesting, but headache causing, stupid assignments, then there is the eye strain from the catastrophic amount of novel reading, financial stress because work is being a poo head and only giving me six hours a week, my humongous gianormous accumulating debt, then other types of stress, think flatmate type wars and the story idea outbreak going through my head at the most inconvenient moment.

So to quote the lovably vain Officer Octogenarian, the character not the person, “Owe my entire beautiful brain!”

Yes there has been story idea outbreak in my entire mind, stupid characters are really insistent about the sequel to Song of the Superheroes for some reason. I’ve decided Sarah Evans is coming back, apparently she doesn’t feel like she has fulfilled her mission against the corporate owning media or more likely the misogynistic Nigel. I’ve just lost the will to write lately. I want to get these ideas onto a computer screen and/or paper, but I think I have become to stressed or depressed to do so. It hurts me to neglect my writing.

I suddenly feel like I am whinging. I keep thinking sometimes that I hate my life and I have wasted a good part of my adult life doing everything in strange mix matched make no sense kind of way. I don’t really think my life has ever made sense to me. Then again I shouldn’t because I’ve accomplished some major goals of mine for starters come to Australia and to go to university. I’ve done two things my family hasn’t. I should be immensely proud, but all I feel is regret for some strange reason. I just feel like my priorities have become all backwards. For starters I continued to go to school after high school had finished, went to a foreign country to study, suddenly rebelled like I secretly wanted too and by that I mean question religion and partying. Now I want to go home just have a random job and work towards my drivers’ license so that I can get a good paying job in journalism so I can work towards being an author.

I can’t help thinking it should have been the later, followed by school, some sort of rebellion I didn’t come into partying till I was in my twenties most of my friends rebelled once they hit 17-19, then college and university in my home country in something I decided. I was kind of prodded into journalism because everyone reckoned I was a good writer. I wanted to be an astronomer, still do sometimes, but now I am in so much debt, that will be likely to not happen. Then I should have come to Australia as a tourist, not a student before and/or after getting a good paying job, but no it’s all jumbled around. It feels random and sporadic, I feel like chaos. May I remind you this entry is not about sympathy, just random garbled feelings I’ve been neglecting I need to get out of my head for some cathartic reason.

I have to constantly remind myself that everything happens for a reason, I wouldn’t have met my amazingly awesome beautiful friends here, written a novel or rebelled. It will be interesting to see how much I have changed once I go home. I shouldn’t regret my decisions, but I still do.

I am going home, but despite the minute amount of mixed emotions still left I am at peace with it and actually quite excited about it. I suddenly realise my fantastically intelligent attempt to stay here, if it didn’t put me in further debt helped me become ready for going home perhaps? To face my issues that I now admit perhaps came to Australia to get away from. Maybe I should go home to figure out how all this chaotic order of events happened and perhaps settle it before it becomes more so. Also my grandparents are getting older, I can’t help feeling they are not going to be around for much longer and I don’t want to be overseas when they are pushing up the daisies. Then there is the friends I’ve forgotten back home, I feel like I’ve neglected them. Mind you going home has nothing to do with guilt.

And the big thing I want to do is find my father. I feel like some will never know what it is like to have a big question such as this constantly hanging around you. The longer I put it off the more it eats at me. I have also just made the connection to why I am dreaming about being eaten by aliens. For starters I have felt alienated by people most of my life and well questions such as who is my father combined with this is slowly metaphorically eating me alive. It’s not a nice feeling.

Does anyone feel the way I do?

Dinner for T-Rex in Outer Space

I’ve had some interesting dreams lately.

For starters I keep getting chased by a Tyrannosaurus rex but I am not really scared of it. This T-rex seems to be a reoccurring character.

In this recent dream I was on space station or at least a building that I would say is technologically profound compared to now. Ashleigh McGlonagick would most likely remark that she was in nerd NERDY retarded paradise, but anyways Rex was on the lose eating the residents. Now that I think of it was kind of like the Alien movies, except it was a carnivorous dinosaur. Strangely enough the T-rex had a lizard tongue. I am not sure how to describe it but he or she or perhaps it as I am not sure of the sex of the beast, I am not really sure it matters. Gender doesn’t seem to be an issue for dinosaurs only humans. Hence the dinosaur could grab his victims with its tongue and swallow them whole. The more Rex ate the bigger he became.

Some of the survivors including me managed to capture him and put the monster into a jail cell. (A very dark cell.) In other words I kind of felt bad for Rex all alone in a cell. He seemed to shrink a bit too. However those in charge of the place were worried he would escape, so two guards were chosen to watch over the prison, one of them being me. Ironically I think I was male, equipped with military knowledge and physically fit, basically I potentially had the ability to out run Rex.

However, Rex somehow tricked the other guard into letting him out but disguising himself, rather badly as a pregnant old lady woman. I think this term was used as well as I was aware of his deception. Rex some how put on wig and an ugly blue dress. I was increasingly aware of the shadowy figure lurking in the jail cell.

Sure enough as soon as he escaped him ate the other guard who freed him. He began to chase me. I shot at him trying to shot his tongue off as that was his primary means eating. Sadly I was caught and he was about to eat me head first, but somehow he was stopped by another guard who came to help me. I thought perhaps it was a stomach upset as he had eaten a lot. I then remember grabbing the t-rex unnaturally little arms and pinned him to the wall with magnetic cups while he squirmed and resisted.

Later it was found out that the people he ate were still alive. It was merely a matter of getting them out of his stomach. I could see and hear people inside him. It was entirely weird.

P.S. It was sometime in April 2004 that I was thinking of going to Australia.

A Product of my Procrastination

I eat my feelings!

Damn you and your cheese talk!

WHO ASKED YOU SQIUGGLEBUM?

Did you remember your sock spray? Otherwise learn how to swim.

Ugachaka!

I burn things…

Socks live in here!

Socks do NOT live here.

No Socks Allowed!

Nobody socks here anymore...

“Je suis un chef de doo de doo!”

“The world is like Big W. W unknown.”

“Free will would be eating the hats.”

“It’s so romantic. I need some rope.”

“Someone is having a barbeque.”

“You’re a house ninja.”

What does the K in K-mart stand for?

“What that’s terrible!”

“Oh no it’s a pregnant old lady man monster!”

“A fogery pregnant old lady man monster stole your towel, love the Tooth Fairy!”

“The cupboard door is not your sex toy.”

“I eat children.”

“Children are not food.”

“Thanks Tickelface! (P.S. You spelt “tickle” wrong. Love the Grammar Nazi!)

“That’s Tops!”

“When a woman has a baby she gets pregnant for seven months to a dogface lady man.”

What is this random garble of words and sentences? Why they are house sayings, Chris-isms, Melissa-isms, A.E.S.M-isms, inside-joke-isms and random-targets-towards-housemate-isms. I wonder how many can figure which ism they belong too. Why so many ism’s? For the last couple of weeks I have been a sign maker and putting these random sayings all over the flat, most likely out of randomness or procrastination.

Hey! My classes are very complicated this term. I am homesick! I have a lot on my mind. Procrastination is a wonderfully quick cure, so what if I am screwing myself in the end. :P

I can’t believe its April already in two months my random adventures in Australia may be nothing but memories. It makes me really sad. Perhaps my procrastination is a product of me wanting to prolong my stay?

Well yesterday would be the first time I met MEAN Canadians. They were entirely rude and unfriendly to me. ENTIRELY RUDE! Maybe it’s because I was working at Big W. I really wanted to tell them to go back to Canada, because they are making other Canadians look like hosers. I reckon they were Americans in disguise as Canadians, using our hard earned respect so people will be nice to them, mostly because they sounded American at first. It really annoys me to no end when Americans go overseas and pretend to be Canadians, because people are nicer to them. Half the time they can’t get it right either. My country earned the right for people to be nice to them because we are nice and Americans have no right to use our national identity as a way to be treated better. I am sorry but it's there fault people hate them so much. Sorry that's just my rant for the day. Nothing against Americans who actually say they are American by they way.

I have also been watching that Moment of Truth show. I am confused as to why one would publicly humiliate themselves whilst allowing complete strangers in there living rooms’ leagues away into their deep and personal secrets. I guess the lust for money and 15 minutes or so of fame is enough for them. I remember watching last weeks episode, which was apparently one of the most controversial ones in which a wife pretty much destroyed her entire marriage on national television. She lost it all on one question "Do you think you are a good person?" She said yes. However, her behaviour would imply other wise. She just previously finished answering a question beforehand which asked if she had sexual relations with someone other than her husband. The husband must have been just as humiliated. She lost more than $100,000, but that's just my opinion. I find humanity to be a very curious species indeed and to be a part of it confuses me just as much.

This blog entry is a product of my procrastination as well as rantings, musings and a very special e-mail chain. I really honestly should get on track.

P.S. This entry is actually being published on a Friday and not a Sunday. :P

“Socks live in here!”

Dear people of all awesomeness,

Friday, although rather slow, due to the fact that it’s a public holiday and was like a Sunday. It was rather amusing.

I have been procrastinating for the whole weekend. So rather than work on uni, on Friday I scrubbed a bathtub, to the point that I smelt like bleach, washed some walls in the kitchen and cleaned my bedroom floor. The later I was hoping would get rid of my sneezing as I think I may have a dust allergy. Unfortunately it did not help.

Anyways, Thursday I randomly bought Monopoly to:

1. Fight off boredom due to bad television AND
2. To aid in procrastination. It is because of this

While leaving work I walking out with a big famous board game did not go unnoticed. I think a majority of co-workers remarked how I had it. Yes I bought Monopoly big deal. I should have invited them all to come to my flat to play.

It kind of made me sad when I got home. I didn’t even take it out of the packaging till the afternoon. I was worried I’d have no one to play with it. On Friday afternoon Elise decided she wanted to play Monopoly. It was fun and all until I was accused of being a house ninja. I kept buying house on my property. It is the idea isn’t it? Elise hardly bought any houses and she wondered why I am winning. The aim of the game is to take risks. So I am proud to be a house ninja. The unfinished game was on the lounge room table till this afternoon. I finally realised looking at the sad unfinished game that I probably won’t be playing it for a while because I suspect Elise doesn’t like to lose.

I also apparently ate a scrub brush, but this is completely unrelated to Monopoly. The scrub brush was found later, but no apologies were issued.

Just now I was thinking how my flatmate Elise and I have someone intelligent discussions that turn into nonsensical musings.

For example:

Me: It felt weird leaving Literary Theory to go to work yesterday. We discussed free will and how we technically we don’t have it, we merely have choices. I then thought about going to Big W in which I could technically have the choice not to attend work or any kind of work and do what I want if “free will” existed.
Elise: Yes well you have the choice to be poor and not eat, but you kind of have too.
Me: That’s true. The lecturer believes that we don’t have free will because we give that up as soon as we are born into society and we merely have choices.
Elise: Yeah that makes sense everyone has to conform and know one is different.
Me: You know I was thinking Big W is kind of like a mini culture because you have to act a certain way to conform or you’re fired. It’s kind of like society in a way.
Elise: (Perplexed look.) What does the W in Big W stand for?
Me: I have no idea. I should ask a manager. They should know.
Elise: The world is like Big W. W unknown.
Me: I think it stands for Woolworths. I think Big W came around to compete with K-Mart.
Elise: What does the K in K-mart stand for?
Me: I have no idea.

Sometime later….

Me: I tried telling co-worker about my theory on free will and she kind of just looked at me. I said you have a choice to by things such as hats, but if you think about it you don’t really have free will.
Elise: Exactly free will would be eating the hats.
Me:And cooking it in a pot in the middles of the fashion accessories aisle.
Elise: Yes I can it imagine it bubbling in a cauldron.
Me: Mmmmm hat soup, tastes like leather. All hail the naked lady statue.
Elise:Ugachaka!
Me:This causes people to think you are crazy.

Now I suddenly realised I am not supposed to blog about the company I work for. However, I wasn’t attacking anyone, just discussing eating hats, buying socks, the meaning of the W and how I bought Monopoly. Hopefully this doesn’t get me fired. Case in point I should really be careful think previous job with Pixi Foto... I pretty much whinged about them every entry. Not good.

So as you can tell the concept of “free will” has peaked my interest. To mean it makes sense, as we give up freedoms to be a part of society. We don’t have free will we have choices. For example buying socks at Big W we have the choice to buy them. Speaking of socks my new flatmate Samantha leaves her socks all over the flat. Elise says she saw a sock in Sam’s window. It is kind of funny and random. So does she have the free will to place socks every where? Or is it merely a choice. This kind of makes my head hurt. Anyways Elise and I decide to hide the socks she leaves randomly around the house and put of informative signs such as “Socks live in here!” on her bedroom door and “Socks don’t live here” on the bathroom door until she figures it out.


Another concept is how literature is of timeless significance, transcends the age it was written in and speaks to what is a constant human nature. After reading that one must wonder what constant human nature is. It is the way we behave as humans, but it’s not universal. The idea that there is a single human nature is problematic. I am now curious to know what exactly does it mean to be human as we are all seen as individuals, but the same as well.

P.S. Ugachucka!

My entirely rebellious entry.

Dear Readers of the hopefully intelligent universe,

I’ve decided that Fridays should be blogging days, for the mere fact that I keep forgetting to update, despite the random hints from friends. It’s been over three weeks since I’ve graced my presence and I apologise for the lack of updates. This opening paragraph explaining my lack of updates is becoming a frequent occurrence I might add.

Ironically this entry is being published on a Sunday, but I digress it did begin this on Friday. I also apologise that this entry is rather scrambled as they seem to be lately. It has no coherent pattern of any kind.

It’s during these three weeks or so with university and work I have discovered a lot about myself. In fact I have noticed a great change within myself the past few months. I’ve become a rebel. AN ENTIRE REBEL!

For starters, I think I might have quit Pixi Foto. I decided against my better judgement not to show up for a shift, or three hour staff meeting on Tuesday. So believing that one staff meetings aren’t typically three hours long and two, having better places to be. I decided they should keep their precious $18 per hour. My flatmate answered my phone and said I was sick, the manager may or may not have believed her if it weren’t for the fact that she’s a sadist and was laughing while describing my illness. Sooooo I am fired. I feel like I’ve turned into the employee I am not supposed to be. The End!

Secondly since I have been here in Australia I have started drinking. I was NEVER going to do that. I even made a pledge when I was nine before I understood what alcohol was. This might include other beliefs I made a pledge too before understanding them as well.

Thirdly, I have become even more confused when it comes to religious matters. I don’t know what I believe in anymore. It may have to do with the fact that I am studying journalism and all the stuff I have been learning at university. I am constantly questioning things. I think I am leaning towards humanism for some reason. I’ll write more about this another time.

I have also recently thought about dates April 18 and October 24. I keep dreaming about them and I feel they have some sort of significance, but I can’t figure it out. It could be that April 18th and October 24th are just a dates and random information that slipped into my consciousness?

I have the following theories:

I dreamt that on April 18 Chris and Amy went to London with out me and I felt left out and decided to go back to Canada.

April 18 is the day I met Officer Old, (whom now is also being referred to as the chemist.) However there is something wrong with this particular theory. I met him on the 20th of April. I only know this because I wrote about it comprehensively in my journal on the 21st. Journals are a wonderful archive of garbled ramblings that no one will ever read except me.

Then again April 18 could have something to do with London, Chris and Amy or perhaps my fate of whether or not I go home?

As for the dream about October 24 I dreamt about a photo album with lots of photographs. There were photos of my cousin, some unknown guy and I in the forest, presumably a national park and my old dogs Shelby and Heidi, which I compulsively started taking them out. The album was dated October 24. I suddenly realised I wanted to put the photos back, but they kept sliding everywhere. I then realised that some of the photos had blue tack so I used it to put it back together, including taking blue tack from photos still in the album.
I know that on October 24 I was interviewed for a job at Pixi Foto. Ironically when this date came to me in my dream I was looking at a photo album. I wonder if that is just coincidence though.

October 24 could also be the day I started thinking about song of the superheroes? Although I vaguely remember reading in my journal my beginning ideas on the 26th and of course I didn’t actually write the first chapter till the 31st. I still feel happy every time I read the beginning sentence “Sarah Evans has a very busy day ahead of her…” written in my big bubbly messy writing.

I have many other theories I thought of but I’ve forgotten. Case in point I am obsessed and I over analyse things too much.

Speaking of words, thinking about language and something the lecturer said. How “language speaks us.” We can’t have thoughts without language as we use words. It is language that constructs society and it is seen as the necessity for being.

P.S. I have a new flatmate which brings the flatmate total to 18! EIGHTEEN! She is pretty cool by the way.

My Antarctic Penguin Adventure!

Dear readers who are not averse to read randomness,

I am still convinced certain friends have no sense of humour. A couple of weeks ago after a week of still “rescuing their laundry from the apparently evil Ev-Lady,” This time my flatmate was getting sick of looking at Joan’s bra. So I devised another scare tactic text.

“If you don’t come and get your stuff it will get eaten! And by that I mean dressing the naked lady statue outside and leaving it in the rain. THE ENTIRE RAIN! As she demands clothing and warmth. P.S. my flatmate is going to go Germaine Greer on your bra and I’m gong to try on your mini skirt.”

Unfortunately, I was rung moments later by Justin, who did not see the “joke in it.” Then to make it even more random, my flatmate Elise was chanting “Uguchaka” our worshiping naked lady statue chant in the background. This caused Justin to mention she was psycho. No she just has a sense of humour!

May I point out to last the entry? I wouldn’t let anything happen to Justin and Joan’s precious stuff. I like them, why would I do mean things like that? It was an entire joke. AN ENTIRE JOKE! My flatmate knew it was joke and I am pretty sure others would too. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out I wasn’t serious. Which I might add was successful message as Justin came to collect the stuff. So where both of them just oblivious to the fact it was humour or do they have none? Besides the naked lady statue wasn’t particularly interested in Justin and Joan’s clothing, she’d prefer some nice silks from the props at certain photography studio. THE END!

I keep having strange dreams…This one tops all of them!

It started off with my brother in my room and sadly just like old times he was making a mess in my room, by throwing stuff and breaking things. This of course really pissed me off. I was about to kick him out, when a scientist arrived at my door and informed me that my brother and I had been selected for an experiment and we were turning into penguins. It was time for us to leave and be taken to Antarctica. I remember my mom waving goodbye.

As we came to the door, I suddenly felt very short and felt like I was wobbling. We were at one point meandering down the city street and a big brown dog came up to me and tried to eat me! The scientist offered no or little help. Then after I fought the big brown dog off I saw a vulture and I knew I would have the same problem with him. Luckily the scientist came to rescue my brother and me in a black limo, running over the vulture. This was lucky because there was an alligator not far behind as well.

Once my brother and I were safe inside, I suddenly had the urge to eat raw fish. We drove all over I think it was North America until we came to the ocean and the limo turned into a deep sea submarine. Soon we arrived in Antarctica I saw others like me. Apparently they too were turned into penguins but they could still only see their human self as that is what they had been conditioned to believe. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t see my penguin body, but my normal human self.

To test my readiness for penguin-hood they placed me in the cold ocean water. I panicked and nearly froze from the cold. They said it wouldn’t take long so they placed my brother and me on a fancy ice sculpture. I followed the other human to penguin experiments to the top. I suddenly realised this was my new life and I have to take care of my brother. I realised I had to feed him by eating fish and vomiting it back into his mouth as he was just a little baby penguin. He however rejected it because he did not understand what was going on. I then tried again by vomiting into my hand and offering it too him. I told him it was eggs and mushrooms, his favourite foods. He didn’t believe me.

P.S. The humour or lack there of thing wasn’t meant to be an insult. It was just my rant for the day.

Thank's Tickle Face!

Dear hopefully respondent readers,

Here is my attempt at being more attentive to my blog. I will start off by making an entire correction. In my previous entry, I stated I got a message regarding my blog which said

“UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE NOW NOW NOW!”

But really is said.

DATE UP DATE UP DATE UP NOW NOW NOW!

Sorry for misleading any dear readers and causing harm to the message sender himself.

It’s hard to believe in nine days I’ll have been in Australia for two years which is two entire babies and then some, but according to Chris,

“When a woman has a baby she gets pregnant for seven months to dog face lady man.”

So if this theory were correct it would be three babies and a bit?

Anyways, I would have written a longer entry last time but lately the computer lab is constantly taken over by entire Brazilians. ENTIRE BRAZILIANS! By about 7 p.m. they smarm in to look at pornography. At around 8:00 Friday night six of them filled the room instantaneously. By 8:15 there were at least eight. I had to make a quick escape before they attempted hitting on me and asking me repeatedly if I am married or speak Portuguese. As I left the room I being polite said see you later bye! To which all six of them in unison said bye! Then one, who is 36 and likes 23 said “I love you!” and smiled at me. I was seriously freaked out and made a hasty exit. Mr. Thirty Six is the creepiest he keeps telling me that I am very beautiful and that he dreams about me, but enough about Brazilians.

I guess I could start with writing about a dream I had that was very confounding or interesting to say the least.

I dreamt a cold snap came to Australia, just like the kind back home in Canada. It was snowy, cold, freezing, but I didn’t feel a thing. I felt quite normal. I was walking down the street enjoying it for some reason. I remember all my friends complaining and I kept saying, “You think this is cold? It’s much worse back home!” The only thing I remember from the cold that was out of place was my feet were really cold because of my boots.

I remember some friends saw me and they offered me a lift. Officer Old was in the car but I didn’t see who was driving as he was sitting in the passenger’s seat. He seemed really happy, but just like real life I couldn’t seem to speak to him. The car was like the cars back home, which is the opposite of Australia. I quickly got in the back seat stopping two other girls from trying to get in because I thought they were evil. I wasn’t successful as one of the girls made it in magically. Suddenly on the way the girl who made it in kept whining how she needed to go to Big W so she could buy underwear and I said I might as well go because I need to check the roster. I think it was my way of keeping the peace.

I then remember walking down a set dodgy stairs to check the rosters. But the railings kept breaking when I held on to it for support and I was for some reason walking around in my bare feet and I kept thinking I really need shoes. I then checked the roster diligently searching for my name, but I couldn’t find it. Feeling distressed I asked a manager what the go was, to which he replied they had to make some cut backs and they’d call me if they needed me. I felt that I was in actual fact fired and felt really anxious and I wanted to cry. I suddenly thought now I am screwed because I’ve lost both my jobs, first Pixi Foto and now Big W. Funnily I felt as though I cause Pixi Foto to be angry with me.

So I not willing to give up went straight to the head manager (who is a very scary lady boss I might add) bare feet and all decided to tell her the situation. I pleaded with her to give me another chance. I said:

“Please can I have my job back because my I am uni and my grandma said she won’t help me if I don’t have a job and I’ll have to go home.”

I was on the brink of tears. The assistant manager who was in the office too, (he is pretty scary too) and he told the head lady boss not to listen to me, but luckily she sighed reluctantly and said “OK.” I felt an overwhelming peace and I replied, very enthusiastically.

“Thanks Tickle Face!”

I suddenly realised I shouldn’t have said that because the manger looked very silent and shocked because I was in fact pointing out a giant fuzzy ticklish looking spider on her shoulder, named Tickle Face who was the real manager of Big W and was helping me all along. I wasn’t supposed to bring attention to this. I suddenly felt panicked and that is where this dream ends.

It’s after that bizarre ending to my dream I thought what the hell? In retrospect I figured out some of the meanings. I am homesick, my grandma who is helping me is Tickle Face as I am not supposed to tell anyone she is helping and reflects some real life fears, mainly the one about getting fired, which is strange because I am willingly going to be fired from Pixi Foto. In fact I keep lying to them and scarily it’s getting easier. It makes me feel unsettled. I am being completely dishonest and yet surprised that I am getting away with it at the same time

I also know how to get ones attention. On Wednesday I saved Jo’s belongings from peril in the laundry room. I wondering when she will come and collect it ask her when are you coming to get your stuff? To which there was no reply. So I resulting to drastic scare tactics text her this.

“My flatmate wants to have a bonfire and your stuff is it. She said she’s sick of looking at your bra!”

To which I was rung at 10 a.m. by a frantic Jo asking.

“What the hell is happening too my stuff!?”

I told her it was merely a joke and a device to get her attention, which let’s face it worked. She said it wasn’t very nice as she a couple of things are family treasures from 50 years ago. I know it wasn’t very nice. Joan, Joan, Joan like I’d let anything happen to your stuff!

This entry was random as my flatmate and I discussing what we should sacrifice to the naked lady statue outside. I’ve given her flowers twice, both symbols of guilt, (if you read last entry you’ll figure it out), an Australian flag, a bird feather and a necklace. Elise says the guy who mows our lawn will be seriously confused. We also discussed giving it bread and chanting to it when our new flatmate arrives to freak her out. Also something as mandatory and equally as random as updating my blog, Song of the Superheroes is now in it’s final stages of completion. I’m now done the third draft and will upload it for your reading pleasure. I think and hope this is the final one.

P.S. NEON MEATE DREAM OF OCTOFISH!

Fake Bookings + Catastrophe = Silly Melissa Giggles

Dear readers I know who read my blog....

What have I been up too since the 13 of January? Quite a bit actually, but for some reason I have neglected my blog for almost an entire month. I plan to write more even if it’s shorter and more pointless than this one. In fact I am updating now because I have been getting friendly reminders from certain people over the last two days.

Reminders that say:

“Update your entire blog!”

“UP DATE UP DATE UP DATE NOW NOW NOW!”

And

“When are you going to update your blog?”

So I am assuming that since there is a sufficient demand for an update I’d better write one. NOW, NOW, NOW!

Anyways I have some exciting news! Guess who made bookings at Pixi Foto recently?

NIGEL BOTTINGTON! At 9 am on Saturday the 23!

And

*Drum roll!*

MRS. LACHLAN’S MUM!!! 40 minutes after Nigel. (Under the pseudo name of Cathy Somerfield…They’ve banned people with the name Such And Such and if I put Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum I think they’d find it rather obvious)

Daniel Hillard from Mrs. Doubtfire made a booking at 10:20 too!

Then 3 people are being rung up at a later day by them…

ASHLEIGH MCGLONAGICK!! She want’s pictures to send to Scotland (Again if I put Neptune…)

PHILIS PHILMORE (Has a request that close up shots are made because she is worried she won’t fit in the camera shots)

NORMA NORMINGTON! She are wants nice pictures too!!!

This prospect of booking my superheroes characters gives me entire silly Melissa giggles.

They will also be calling

Janet Weis and Brad Majors from Rocky Horror Picture Show

And Robin Hobb the famous author

As well as a clever play on words…

PAT SMEARS! (Think Pap Smear) Because they love to talk about them so much! In fact one time I heard them talking about their ovaries while a lady in a pram meandered by.

And just for Chris Laura Honeysome…

Along with other random people who don’t exist. Who knew that fake people were more keen to book than real ones. Case in point I intend to leave my dastardly job with an entire bang.

I’ve had a tyrannical obsession with sticking it to Pixi Foto for the last two days now. I feel kind of bad, but then again Mrs. Amazing James Dean Lady is only giving me three hours next week so to that I say...see you later! They are proud of my sudden amazing rise in my rates, that will be until they call the adult shop, Later Day Saints (Mormons), Jehovah’s Witnesses, another REAL photo studio, escorts, septic tank treatments, pregnancy termination services, Jenny Craig and others I can’t remember.

I am going to be in so much trouble. However, I must give 50 -70 % credit to my flatmate Elise who told me I should do it!

This all started when I had my first talking to by my manager at Pixi Foto by Miss Amazing James Dean Lady. Apparently when she wanted me to get some dastardly unrealistic amount of bookings in a half hour I rolled my eyes. But not only did I roll my entire eyes I did so in the presence of a potential recruit into her anti nerd nerdy retarded army of photographers. I say anti because they are on a different level than me. Don’t get me wrong I like Miss Amazing James Dean Lady and her sidekicks Fig-Lady and Jam-Woman, but they have amazingly high expectations and demands on my promoting ability. Apparently I should be bringing in more for the $18 an hour they pay me and if I don’t get my rate up there is no point in keeping me around. It’s not my fault if they have gotten them done before, have their own cameras, don’t have the money to pay or have many other legitimate excuses. Case in point I am looking for another job…AN ENTIRE NEW JOB! So now it’s evident I will leave this job with catastrophic outcomes for both parties.

Not to mention they make me feel like an outcast because I feel more smart then them. For instance Fig-Lady assumed where I live will be affected by the flood coming to Rocky. I felt like saying I live on higher ground you twat! Yes the water is going to roll up the hill…But I didn’t because it wouldn’t have been nice.

This is also the first time in my life I rejected someone. I’ve never been in this situation before. I am usually the rejected not the rejecter! I won’t go into much details nor, will I mention who it is because my friends know the entire story and that’s pretty much all the counts. I feel pretty horrible about potentially breaking someone’s heart, but I was told this is normal. It’s not my fault if I am not attracted to him in that way. I think if I did like him I would want him in that way, which I don’t. I think there has to be passion, butterflies, can’t eat, can’t sleep, dwelling in my dreams like some sort of reoccurring character. Even if they happen to say NO NEVER! To you while in dream land. Apparently, love of this kind is dangerous and unhealthy according to someone. Sadly I don’t see this person’s point! I’ll like who I like even if it’s unrequited because one day you never know if someone special will come along. Hev-Lady always said that these kinds of feelings are natural. It’s what makes us loving and caring beings. I agree. I just hope I made the right decision.

P.S. I have more I could write, but I’ll save that for another entry! Sorry I've been gone so long

MY ENTIRE LIFE!

Dear readers of the universe,

A few minutes before writing this I saw an episode of Royal Canadian Air Farce in which there were politically incorrect pregnant old lady men. To which they said the best thing about being old is being able to say whatever you want.

The 26 of December last year was the last time I updated which would mean I haven’t written in my blog in at least a few weeks? So what have I been up to since I neglected my electronic space of endless thoughts and musings? Work, sleep, occasional partying (more than usual I might add) and an ear infection. Sounds exciting doesn’t it?

On New Years Eve last year I was forced into hugging a drunk girl who was crying for some reason, smelled bad and kept babbling about snorkels. This year was way different. I’ll just leave it at that.

I could write an entire entry about 2007 in retrospective but it seems kind of redundant if you want to know what happened last year you can read previous entries. The only major thing I think happened was deciding to stay in Australia for now by finding some amazingly clever loophole and finishing Song of the Superheroes.

As for Song of the Superheroes I know I said I finished it in October but, I am still technically working on it. I am writing the third draft in which I am going over some plot errors and fixing it up a bit. I could have it finished sooner, but I’ve been too tired to write. In fact one of my New Years Resolutions is to get back to my writing I feel like I’ve neglected my craft. I am also attempting write the sequel which is rather garbled. I think its coming together differently than Song of the Superheroes. However it is likely to be just as dastardly weird and random. I even have a new main character and other characters as well.

My job at Pixi Foto has turned out to be the most amazingly challenging job I have ever had in my entire life. My friend Phillip keeps paying me out saying who would honestly want photos taken? Oddly he showed up at work on Wednesday to which I proved to him that people do want them. I got an entire lead, which is basically a call them back later. Ha so there! He still keeps paying me out though. I believe people for some insane reason do want portraits done you just have to find them. Its like finding an entire needle in a very aggressive go away I hate you type haystack. It’s challenging which is one of the reasons I like it and hate it equally. Everyone tells me to quit and I think about quitting at least once ever other shift, but I am going to stick with it and prove that I can do it. Besides I can’t go now I finally got my Pixi Foto name badge which makes it official.

I also meet some interest people at Pixi Foto. Yesterday I met two Canadians, which strangely made me seriously excited. I now actually agree when some say there is a difference between the Canadian and American accent. Also they were from Calgary which is three hours from Lethbridge where I used to live.

So I not wanting to pass up the opportunity asked the Canadian guy the one question I’ve always wanted to ask another Canadian if in fact I ever ran into one. Do you often get mistaken for American? And once corrected on the true nationality do they apologise profusely? In fact he was mistaken for American earlier that morning. We all kind of agreed that it’s kind of annoying and somewhat insulting to me mistaken for our neighbours south of the border but it’s not enough to get cranky because it is an honest mistake. These two Canadians were an obviously not interested in getting portraits taken, but were randomly looking for camping gear. I then helped my fellow countryman and woman by giving them directions to Big W or Kmart which would most definitely have what they were looking for. Before this I met one Danish and two Austrians. Yesterday was a very international day.

Not to mention I keep meeting random people who have seen me at both jobs and ask me why I have two jobs. It’s none of there friggen business that’s what! It keeps me busy, sane, sheltered and fed and that’s what matters. I don’t have to explain nothing.

P.S. I apparently have an entire boyfriend.

NO NEVER!

I can’t believe I haven’t written in this dear old blog in 18 days. EIGHTEEN DAYS! I’ve neglected it to the point that it is collecting cyber dust. For that I apologise.

My life you could say has been eventfully uneventful. Let’s see what has happened since I saw the sea captain? Not much really. Perhaps some random words and phrases will explain it better.

Rainy weather

Work

A flatmate left and another one moved in, same old same old.

Angry Christmas shoppers

Tiredness

I saw a cowboy pregnant old lady man.

“Free” is a subjective and confusing word.

Homesickness

Christmas parties

And that’s about all I can think of.

So as you can see or should I say read…the last couple of weeks leading up to Christmas have made me tired and unable to think properly. If I was not working I was busy with my friends, other social pursuits and forced into taking care of Joan’s birds. YES FORCED! Contrary to popular belief I was not asked to take care of them. I was told I was taking care of them, then reminded a week later I was supposed to be taking care of them. I could have done with out the 7 a.m. wake up call. I have something called work. WORK! Sorry that’s my last rant for the end of the entire year I promise.

Christmas Eve I had to work and Christmas Day once again didn’t feel like the Christmases I knew long ago. I spent it with my friends Serena and Jason and Serena’s family. It was fun. It beat spending it alone. Sadly I think the prawns I ate made me sick. We also went for a quick walk to the beach. I love the beach. I think it was because I was born on an entire island. I like the way the wet sand feels on my feet.

Anyways, the much anticipated Plan 10 from Outer space went off with an entire bang. At the end of it I wore my entire dress, had a bad stomach ache, an angry photographer from work telling me to take a fucking Panadol and a Mr. Potential Love Interest (Sounds like a superheroes character :P) The later confounds me. Not much romantical (I made up this word) happened if you count the endless dancing and trips to the pinball machine. Officer Octogenarian never turned up :(

Speaking of Officer Octogenarian, strangely enough I have nearly forgotten all about my him although he still seems to dwell in my dreams a lot. That reminds me a few weeks before the big night out I had a dream that Officer Octogenarian rejected me. In the dream, I being brave asked him to come out with Amy, Chris and I and he said sorry I have to work. Then I being even braver asked how about some other time to which he reacted by saying.

“NO NEVER! “

And that was the end of my entire dream. It made me sad like, but I found it amusing at the same time. For some reason I feel I won’t be talking about Officer Octogenarian much anymore unless it’s the character in my story, which is quite possible.

P.S. I am suffering from brain drain. I promise I will have a better entry soon.

I can sea things clearly now!

Another entry of randomness!

I don’t know how many of you watch the TV show Heroes, but I wish I had the power Matt Parkman has. He is telepathic, but he can make people do stuff just by putting a thought into their head. I could use this to my advantage at work mwhahahahahahhaha!!!! Just kidding.

Today was an interesting day, you see last night I my glasses broke, then I remembered my spares broke too! So because I obsess I was completely worried that I wouldn’t be able to fix them the next day. Luckily was able to fix my glasses while I was supposed to work or else I would either walk into stuff (I nearly ran into a poll outside the shopping centre) or be squinting while talking to customers. Luckily the manager Mrs. Amazing Marlon Brando Woman, 9she is seriously cool as) was understanding of my predicament and luckily the eye glass shop was open on a Saturday. Phew! So I guess this last paragraph was entirely boring, who wants to read about my stupid glasses? I apologise for the boringness.

I probably already told Chris this but I was meandering around Coles on Wednesday while working at Pixi Foto and I saw a pregnant old lady man who looked like an entire sea captain. AN ENTIRE SEA CAPTAIN! He was also wearing a Hawaiian style shirt, a kilt and he had a Santa Clause beard. He seriously looked like an entire character had meandered from the story universe of superheroes. And because my entire job is to annoy people...I was able to talk to him. He was pretty cool. Sadly he wasn't interested in portraits. You had to have been there to see him. He inspired a character in the sequel too! I am not sure if he’d be a main character or a random pregnant old lady man Philis has a row with, but I know for some reason his name is Patrick and he is somehow connected to Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum.

Also on Wednesday I had an entire idea! A couple of people asked me if where I work takes pictures of pets. Sadly they don’t. So I thought to myself it would be really cool to start my own business one day taking portraits or photos of people’s animals, whether they are playing in a park or want to pose with them. I wouldn’t completely do the whole photo studio thing as I am not really in to that. I have always thought that a lot of people feel their dog, cat, bird, the goldfish or whatever is a part of their family. In fact the people I talked too said that their entire family was their dogs. It would be cool if one could have the entire family portraits, not just the human members, but animal as well. I met another lady today who had similar interests.

Take for instance my grandma Val-Lady treats her dogs like their part of the family. She cooks rice and liver every night for their dinner and she loves them like they were one of her kids. She reckons that dogs are like small children and deserve all the best love and care in the entire world even if it is expensive. She even gives them human names, Hev-Lady carried on the tradition somewhat. (We had one dog named Sparky.) My mom kind of said that it was demeaning to give them stupid pet names. It was fun to visit my grandma and her dogs when I was little. My favourite dog of hers was Jerry, but he got old and died sadly. I think my grandma still misses him. I have heaps of photos of my dog Heidi, who was my best dog friend in the entire world. My mom paid me out for taking so many photos, but now that Heidi has passed away I am glad I have a treasure trove of memories. So if people have strong feelings for their animals I think they should also be included in memories such as photos.

P.S. I am incredibly tired!

I don't wear a red shirt!

I spent the weekend working, firstly, at Pixi Foto, where I for four hours endured the same response from 90 percent of people. “No thank you love I am not interested in photos.” To which I responded “I understand you’re all photoed out eh?” Then they’d laugh and say. “Yes darl all photoed out.” It was lame. The trick is to remain positive. I find that tough some days I am ready to say stuff it and just walk out, but I know I need this job so I can’t.

I also got mistaken for a target employee four time and the customer has the gall to get cranky at me when I refuse to help them and say I am from Pixi Foto. Pixi Foto Manager Mrs. Amazing Marlon Brando Woman, I call her this because she has red hair (You’ll understand if you’ve read Superheroes.) says it comes with the job and says I should help them, because I would know seeing as I meander around the entire shop for three hours four days a week. I say not to her face mind you that it’s not my entire job and Target employees may not like me doing the job they get paid to do. It’s like asking them to hand out a million vouchers and get rejected repeatedly, which I’d never ask anyone to do, not even a Target employee. Customers are retarded they even come to the studio and ask the photographers in there for directions to things. Hello not affiliated with Target. I want to tell them that Target employees wear red shirts! I do NOT wear a red shirt. I also want to tell all the pregnant old lady woman to stop wearing pink shirts because they all blend in together, but that’s a different story. And that dear reader is my new pet peeve.

Friday at Pixi Foto was pretty cool I saw a real pregnant old lady woman, just like the ones I write about in my stories. All I remember is she wasn’t interested in photos, was wearing pink, had no eyelashes and babbled on for about 15 minutes about ironing and how she hates it. She was quite a nice lady, she even said dolphins and whales used to have legs! No I made that up, but it would have been cool if she did it.

The rest of Saturday it I spent helping my friends Serena and Jason move. Day 1 which was yesterday was the moving bit and day 2, today was the cleaning up type bit. They better not tell Ev-Lady I helped them clean or she’ll be like. “Oh my gosh, Miss Mel-issa the unclean tenant who chases away flatmates because of her unclean like behaviours actually cleaned?! To bad it’s the wrong flat. WRONG FLAT! Now you will not get your entire bond back because it’s Melissa’s fault for cleaning your flat instead of hers.”

So as you can tell I am still a bit sour about the being blamed for my flatmate moving out because of my so calked lack of washing up. I clean up after myself God damn it! How the hell does Ev-Lady know I am unclean unless she comes to my flat for more than five minutes to show the entire flat to a new prospective flatmate, whom might possibly be offended by my apparent lack of cleaning. If she is so paranoid why show anyone, not my renew my lease and kick me out?

Anyways for helping I got three meals, lunch, dinner and lunch, a naked lady, a genuine Australian tennis ball, sore feet and dishpan hands. It was worth it however, because it made me feel good to help someone out. Someone said to me (I can’t remember who), when I was going through a rough patch said that people are helping me now, but the opportunity to help someone else will come along. I guess it did just in a different way.

Now you are probably wondering about the naked lady? She is actually a small garden statue that has floated around the complex where I live. Serena and Jason would have taken it but they were worried her head would fall off because there is a crack in her neck. So I was told to take it and put it in my yard instead, perhaps as a tradition. As for the tennis ball, everything was entirely cleaned at the flat and they were about to venture off and the ball was bounced my way. I caught it and I was told I could keep it. It’s kind of a memento.

Hmmm….I also found an entire dress at Rockmans on Thursday. AN ENTIRE DRESS! It’s on lay-by as of now, but I am excited because I’ve never had a nice going out dress before. Ah yes my dilemma about trying to save money has gone down hill because of my obsession with things I like. I bought a $20 book the other day called The Fourth Bear by Jasper Fforde the same author of The Big Over Easy the other day. Case in point I found a new favourite author and I shouldn’t of bought the book or currently be buying the dress. I then thought about the little child and the mum. Little Melissa begging Big Melissa too buy these things for her. She would have a temper tantrum every time Big Melissa said no. I imagined her like the little brats of today, pinching a fit and screaming because she didn’t get her own way. I felt like I became the parent who finally gives in to make it all go away. I convinced myself it was good because I reasoned I had worked hard for it so I should. I also realise referring to myself as two separate Melissa’s is kind of creepy.

P.S. I wish I had an entire car. AN ENTIRE CAR!

Rice and life!

So what have I done since Saturday when I updated this dastardly blog? Not much and the only reason I am updating my blog is because Jo demanded it. Just Kidding.

Re: Rice! Sounds like a product placement of some kind. :P Rice, rice, rice…rice is life! How about that? Yes I completely understand what Jo and Chris have said. First off it wasn’t my entire rice it was Dave’s (the non-talking antisocial flatmate.) Second it’s OK if there is a prior agreement of some kind to take anything you need if one is not around, but its common courtesy to ask. If you ask before you take something that isn’t yours then I believe that it’s technically stealing. That is all that I am saying. Also I understand what Chris means by the whole flatmates are looking out for #1. Living in a share house is quite annoying at times, but at others it’s rewarding. It has its benefits as well as downfalls. I miss having a flat to myself, but I won’t go as far as Chris did in the movies Flat To Myself 1 &2.

Actually I have Flat To Myself type of dreams. I’ve had two that really stick out, and they are a bit graphic to share. So I won’t go into much detail. It always involves an evil midget with blonde hair who wants to kill me. It starts with me at my back door and I know she is outside and I and my flatmates are in danger. So lock it just in time but she still manages to get in. Anyways she always comes at me with a knife and just when I am pretty badly wounded the police and paramedics arrive and save the entire day. After which I am distraught or course, but then safety leaves and the evil midget comes back and a door appears out of nowhere. The recent dream I had this time had Sue-Woman on the other end wanting to hurt me and I managed to lock her out of my flat but the evil midget let her in. In which both attacked me. There is other disturbing things too in these confounding dreams, which if you really want to know in detail you can ask me.

Work at Pixi Foto is alright it you can handle the entire c-word thrown at you just for doing your job. Well it hasn’t happened yet but I met and old promoter who did the same job I did and she said that it happened to her a couple of times. I get more no’s then yes’s. I guess not many people are keen to have professional portraits taken? The irony is I get paid to be rejected. Another thing is it’s the ones that aren’t interested in the first place are the ones that want to stop and have a chat with me. I keep thinking this is an entire time waster, but I guess if I am nice the no’s now they will be future yes’s?

So far I’ve met some pretty interesting people. I had a pregnant old lady man widow tell me I should get married. Perhaps she was conspiring with Sue-Woman? Come to think of it pretty much all the pregnant old lady man wives or spinsters all wear pink so I can never remember who I asked last. A majority of them have also died their hair an unnatural purple colour, which makes it even harder to distinguish them from one or the other. The pregnant old lady men they wear a lot of blue and it’s pretty much the same idea as the female polms.

I have also noticed there are a lot of families and babies around too and 90% have already had photos taken for their little bundles of joy. And the other 10% aren’t interested because they either have a digital camera or they have had “professional” portraits taken…this is where I want ask them what do you think Pixi Foto is then?

Big W is boring enough said. I pretty much tidy up shelves and make everything nice for the next day. It’s is a nice change from the other job. My first night on the job at Big W. I spent fixing and rearranging the men’s underwear. The second night I spent tidying the shoes. The shoes were by far the worst, customers are so lazy they don’t even bother to put the bloody shoes back on the shelf but instead toss them across the aisle. I also didn’t have an name tag so customers thought I was weird and old staff had no idea I was asking the questions I was.

So there you have it an entire updated type entry of all boringness!

P.S. Sue-Woman doesn’t know I am staying!

An entire lake of grudges? Just add rice!

OK so I am quite tired after busy week as I have officially started both jobs and now the fun part comes where I try to juggle the both of them. I might even be tired from the allergy medication I tried today. Who cares as long as it works!

Anyways I thought I should at least write something on this blog.

What happens when you put three Asians, two Koreans and on Japanese (and a missing shower curtain. You get an entire lake. AN ENTIRE LAKE! You see the shower curtain in the bathroom was mouldy and smelly so I decided to soak it over night in the tub. I told both flatmates, one of which still hasn’t said boo to me that I had done this. My Korean flatmate invited two of her friends over to stay the night, both of which both had showers, with out the curtain, then this morning Jenifer had a shower. So the entire bathroom was a hazard zone. A HAZARD ZONE! She wondered why I was mopping the floor this morning and kept asking where the shower curtain was. I then told her for the fifth billionth time that it was down stairs soaking in the entire laundry sink. THE ENTIRE SINK! No offence, but you’d have to be pretty stupid to have a shower with out the curtain! Needless to say I was a bit cranky about it, but I am not now because I think it was partly my fault for soaking it, but how was I too know she’d invite all her friends over, who would end up staying the night and taking shower after show till there was no hot water left. I felt bad for felling cranky so I mopped it up.

In fact I am cranky altogether from lack of sleep no thanks to my Korean Flatmates late night talking.

I also nearly missed having my rice in my cupboard eaten on me too. Jenifer and her friends took my other flatmates Dave’s by mistake thinking it was mine and that I wouldn’t mind. Actually to be honest I would have been quite angry because I can’t afford to feed four people. Not that it matters she said she was going to fill it up on Monday, but still. Once I told her that it was not my rice they had eaten she got quite scared. I told her if he gets angry which I doubt he will. I will stick up for her. I think she reckons Dave is a gang member with all his tattoos. So the lesson from this is to ask before you take, (she could of txt me) not take then ask to avoid situations like this. It irritates me something fierce when people don’t ask before they take and assume they can just let me know and pay me back later. I’ve had flatmates in the past do this as well and they wonder why I get kind of cranky with them. I know they say oh I didn’t think you would mind and I’ll pay you back, but I was brought up that if you take it before you ask that’s stealing. Maybe it’s just an Australian thing? Perhaps I am still cranky about people taking stuff with out asking because my bad experience with a previous flatmate who actually did steal.

Don’t get me wrong I like Jenifer a lot. She is really cool and her friends are lovely too. They just do things that make no sense to me.

I suddenly realise I get cranky about random things and I stay cranky about them for years. I am still upset about certain things that have happened years ago. I am still annoyed about the flatmate who would drink my milk and assume I had to share because that’s what flatmates do but when I drank his milk got pissed off at me. I think I hold grudges but there over really stupid trivial things that I shouldn’t really be dwelling on.

Hmmm….what else?

I’m not to sure about hugs from random people I’d rather just hug myself….

I am obsessed with Super Mario Bros game.

I am still hung up on my Officer Octogenarian. I told him about Plan 10 From Outer Space via txt, I should have rang him up or ran into him, but I thought I better let him know soon. So he doesn’t make any plans. He’ll probably never reply. So there goes part of the plan.

I am making some new friends….

I like Korean food :) I am so going to the Asian food shop and buying some!

The middle shelf in my entire fridge broke in half!

My flatmate still isn’t talking too me.

I started the third draft of superheroes a little while back. It has changed a bit since the first and second, but it is actually better in the long run. I won’t run the surprises I added. :P

I am homesick because of Christmas and stupid potential customers and staff keep reminding me of my Canadianess and asking me a million billion questions about home.

I’ve become interested in politics

P.S. I miss Carol :( I miss our friendship…its falling away at the entire seams. THE ENTIRE SEAMS!

My wondeful list of things I miss.

Hmmmm lets see I think I just heard the most confounding statement of all time recently. You see was talking to my flatmate Dave and the Unilodge Manager about homosexuality. I found the remark Dave made very strange

“It’s not right! I don’t believe in God, but the Bible says it’s not right so that’s what I think.”

Well I think that’s a steaming pile of contradictory bullshit. BULLSHIT! Sorry it just bothered me. How can you say you don’t believe in God, but quote the book that’s supposedly his word in your homophobic justifications? It seriously made me mad for some reason. So I told him I thought it contradictory and now he hasn’t spoken to me in two weeks. It’s really quite awkward. It’s not like I had a go at him about it or tried to push my beliefs on him. I just I told him his statement didn’t make any entire sense. ENTIRE SENSE!

Ah yes so now after a hiccup or two things work wise are working out entirely. I can feel things starting to get better. I think it’s because I changed my mind set.

Then I have somehow developed annoying allergies. ALLERGIES! All the more excuse to go to the pharmacy and get something for them…Its not stalking if I have terribly itchy dry eyes and sneezing every ten bloody minutes.

Hmmm what else ah yes my mom Hev-Lady said to make a list of things I miss from home and she might send it too me if budget allows and customs as well.

So here it goes:

Kraft Dinner: They have something like it here but it just isn’t the same. There is a joke that Canadians can eat their own weight in Kraft Dinner and some people even reckon it’s an entire food group when mixed with hotdogs and ketchup.

Honey Nut Cheerio’s and Apple Cinnamon Cheerio’s: They are like the best breakfast/ snack ever in the entire world. They only have multigrain ones here and it makes me sad, so very sad. No I am not talking about sausages either. Its cereal baby! Good old cereal!

Kellogg’s Corn Pops: Same as the cheerio’s. It’s another breakfast cereal that has yet to grace the presence of the supermarkets here.

Dads Oatmeal Cookies: Chocked full of preservatives. These have to be the best cookies in the entire world. THE ENTIRE WORLD! They have just the right sweet taste and they are crunchie in just the right way.

Tim Hortons Coffee and Tim Hortons hot chocolate: It’s kind of like the Kraft Dinner thing except Tim Horton’s is an iconic restaurant chain in back home, that serves hot drinks, deli style sandwiches, soups, muffins, donuts and other deserts. My favourite desert is the Iced Cap, which is basically an iced cappuccino. However, you can by their drinks separately to take home and make…I want a bit of Canadiana to share with my friends here!

Timmy’s is the best! It makes sense they are so popular seeing as Canadians eat more donuts per capita than any other country and the atmosphere is much different than most places. In fact it seems like there is a Tim Hortons in every town on almost every block. They seriously outnumber McDonalds Actually come to think of it some towns are cranky if they don’t have one. It would be the best place to take some one on a get to know each other type date or a place to see friend and just chat or read the paper and catch up with strangers about the weather and current affairs. What I wouldn’t give now for a large double, double and a 24 pack of Tim Bits. A double, double is coffee with two creams, two sugars except I always grab extra sugar because the coffee is so strong and Tim Bits are the donut holes left over.

Tim Hortons Mug: To drink my coffee and/hot chocolate. Mine lost the logo on it because one of my previous flatmates decided it would be funny to scrub it off.

Ketchup flavoured potato chips: Oh gosh what I wouldn’t love them. They smell kind of bad but taste so good and there red, my favourite colour too.

Souvenirs for my friends: I don’t really think this needs explanation. You can get this at the local dollar store where I used to live, but I didn’t get enough sadly. It be nice to have a stock pile to give to some new friends and stuff. She might not even have to go there. She could send Canadian Tire money or random packaging with the French and English on them. On the other hand my mom might want that to use the money I don’t know Canadian Tire and she might think I am weird for wanting random boxes and packaging. In case you’re wondering Canadian Tire is kind of like Mitre 10 and those types of place here in Australia.

Oxford Canadian Dictionary: Yes I know they have dictionaries here but not the one I want! It’s got Canadian words in it, like shit disturber and toque. Ummm….I am really homesick right now.

My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures: because I am an entire nerd. There not the new ones out either but the old retro ones...They also remind me of my brother in a very nostalgic way.

And that’s all I can think of. For now…as I think I’ve gone over board. Going over this list makes me feel selfish.

P.S. Plan 10 from outer space! Yay! I can’t wait. It’s seriously going to be awesome fun.

Sarcasm is rude?

Melissa’s Obsession Day 7: Melissa will soon be put in looney bin. LOONEY BIN! A bin full of Loonies and by that I mean the nice golden coins from Canada with the picture of the loon on them. This whole paragraph made no sense whatsoever

I was thinking to day that if I had to pick a song right now that best described what I was thinking and feeling it would have to be Easier Said Than Done, by the Essex.

My friends all tell me,

Go to him, run to him,

Say sweet, lovely things to him,

And tell him he's the one

Deep in my heart, I know it

But it's so hard to show it

'Cause it's easier, easier said than done

My buddies tell me,

Fly to him, sigh to him,

Tell him I would die for him,

And tell him he's the one

Although he gives me a feeling

That sets my heart a-reeling,

Yet it's easier, easier said than done

Well, I know (I know) that I love him so

But I'm afraid that he'll never know

Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy

Each time that I look him in the eye

They all tell me,

Sing to him, swing with him,

And just do anything for him,

And tell him he's the one

I got a love so true

And yet I'm sad and blue

'Cause it's easier, easier said than done

Well, I know (I know) that I love him so

But I'm afraid that he'll never know

Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy

Each time that I look him in the eye

They all tell me,

Sing to him, swing with him,

And just do anything for him,

And tell him he's the one

I got a love so true

And yet I'm sad and blue

'Cause it's easier, easier said than done

Easier

Said than done

Now I am not sure yet if it’s a love so true deal not to mention because the song was released in 1963 I think the lyrics reflect the era it came from. I reckon this part of the song sums up what I am feeling the best besides the easier said than done bit.

But I'm afraid that he'll never know

Because I (I-I), I get so timid and shy

Each time that I look him in the eye

So what else has been happening? Actually things are going quite well. I have two jobs now. TWO! I now have an entire job at Big W. Everyone kept saying to quit Pixi Foto but I really like it there too. I came into a major conundrum when the induction for Big W was scheduled in at the same time I had a shift at Pixi Foto. Everyone said call in sick and such, but it felt dishonest and mean. So I told the truth and said I had just been offered another job and you know what the manager at Pixi Foto understood and said that we can work around the hours just as long as I give her enough notice and let her know when I am available. For once I finally listened to myself. I knew the manager would understand and I know I can do both jobs. So there people telling me what to do all the time! :P Hah I made up my entire mind by myself. MY ENTIRE MIND!

Strange things have been happening lately. I got good marks with uni, but I noticed I had an RO or Result Outstanding for Desktop Publishing. Turns out the lecturer lost my entire assignment. MY ENTIRE ASSIGNMENT! I swear that class is cured. He didn’t even admit he lost it he just said “oh I don’t seem to have your assignment and I assumed you did hand it in on time, but can use please resubmit it?” Urgh what a retard how do you lose someone’s assignment? The lecturer is a nice guy don’t get me wrong, but it still made me mad.

That reminds me I made Grandma Sue-Woman mad. You see I sent her an e-mail that sounds very much like the sarcastic writing in this very blog and I had a bit of a go at her about the whole liking a guy thing. She asked me if I read over my e-mails before I sent them too her. She reckoned I was being rude because sarcasm is rudeness. I was merely being honest and telling her I was frustrated. Hev-Lady even agreed with me. I finally let her see the real me, but she rejected it. She still thinks I am this classy goody, goody granddaughter who is so smart, nice and innocent and perhaps sometimes sarcastic with a bit of a chip on her should, as she often says. No Sue-Woman your granddaughter, doesn’t drink alcohol and go out partying occasionally, she doesn’t say the f word when angry, she hasn’t thought about not waiting for marriage to participate in adult like activities and she isn’t sarcastic oh goodness me no she definitely is not.

Then she was upset because I never comment on certain tid bits about her life. Well sorry Grandma, your life isn’t that interesting. I mean what am I supposed to say to her when she goes on and on about how its morning and how her big expensive motor home is not working proper, the stupid dog they have called Sir Mutley and his bowel movements or some problem with a restaurant not cooking their food properly. Big deal I could stand NOT to get an e-mail from her like that. What happened to short but sweet? I’m still her thinking of you I am not dead, the end.

My life isn’t that important that I have to tell her what I have for breakfast or how I am living my life. From now on I send her a friendly greeting and let her know I am not dead. So I guess you could say I am mad at Sue-Woman too.

P.S. The dress is gone now :(