I am done uni in an entire week. AN ENTIRE WEEK! I am one step closer to finishing my degree or should I say one assignment closer. If only I could get past this writers block, this mental anguish. I am seriously procrastinating to the max this year. So much in fact how about pretty much writing an oral presentation on the day it is due! Luckily I got through OK….I surprisingly got a HD!
So here is another addition to my scramblings of things I have written meant for my blog, but have probably lost its timeliness, a very importanty thing in the world of journalism. Anyways, back to the oral presentation…I wrote it on the most seriously awesome book I have ever read, If on a Winter’s Night a Traveller. So I was comfortable with it and I knew how to answer it.
However, I am petrified of public speaking, I couldn’t speak, I kept fumbling the words while reading it and felt like I was having some sort of out of body experience. I am not afraid of the people in my class as such, but more afraid of what they think of interpretations, that they’d think it was a bunch of bullshit or completely wrong, luckily in my class The Modern Novel there is no right or wrong answer it is interpretation, well to an extent. However, I digress I am rambling on and forgetting why I am really writing about all this.
I finally figured out that I do want to be in the journalism field, not a journalist as such, but a columnist that writes about the oddity stories or someone who writes book and/or movie reviews and of course a novelist. I definitely do not want to be in the broadcasting field because it is kind of like the oral presentation, but times then ten people in the class by a million. They call it mass communication for a reason. I guess I don’t see these people watching me on the television, but I know they are there. If that makes any logical sense.
It came to me at the end of this while discussing it with the lecturer. He mentioned that if I was going to be a teacher, (most students in the class are studying to be one) that I should be using audio visual aids and be comfortable with public speaking. So I told him I wanted to be a writer and the other stuff just came out. I suddenly felt like I had an epiphany and I wanted to tell everyone my idea, specifically my mom and grandma.
This must telling of my sudden realisation of dreams led to starting to like Grandma Sue-Woman after a really good chat. I liked her the same way I did when I was little. I suddenly was able to be honest with her in a non-angering way. I kind of realised I still would not be in Australia if it wasn’t for her or my grandfather. She is controlling, (and she does own me to an extent), but I don’t think she is aware of it, it has become so internalised and natural to her that she just does it and I don’t think she does if completely for the sake of being controlling, she does it because she wants what is best for the people she loves and cares about. So maybe she should be Sue-Lady? She also has a way with words, she is very diplomatic I am never really sure she is agreeing with me or deceiving me into thinking that she is and I am really agreeing with her. I am not sure how to explain. Anyways, I really envy her talent.
The Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum in Superheroes, not the Chris’s Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum (They are very similar, but have different interpretations to an extent) may be based on her just a tiny bit. I see a bit of my grandma in her. Sue-Woman is very cultured and into the whole being a good female kind of person. This is going to sound even weirder but I see a bit of Grandma Jim-Lady in Fergus. I won’t go into this one. It’s like all the characters I created they are either many facets of myself or different pieces of people I know.
I can’t wait for uni to finish so I can start the sequels to Song of the Superheroes. The one I started No Dogs Allowed To Drink Fizzy Lemonade (I combined the titles :P Read previous entries if you have no idea what I am talking about) is more about Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum ironically and so is the sequel The Bamboozle Blues are for Convenience Sake. Oh and I am really excited Wild Will my cult character has more of a role in both and I think I am bringing the whole problem solving thing in, but it’s NOT the same as the A.E.S.M stories or at least I hope it doesn’t end up that way because I remember Chris saying I probably shouldn’t be bringing that element in the Song of the Superheroes because it would turn into a Wild Will story and Sarah Evans may be forgotten. Anyways, I can manage the mental strength I will begin as soon as I hand in the last dastardly assignment on Friday night! Heck Yes!!! I have five left…. So I guess you can imagine by reading this blog I am procrastinating once more, but not to stress I know it will get done. It always does, despite the late nights listening to the child next door scream and the annoyance of people making the click clack noise on the keyboards on the computers at the uni library.
So I guess the point of this is to say that for every instance there is a ripple effect. A scary oral presentation leads to an epiphany, which leads to me feeling good about myself, which then leads to me talking to Grandma Sue-Woman and understanding her a bit better and then finally this blog entry. Perhaps I think about things too much.
P.S. I am done uni on Friday!!!
A Life of Choice
8 years ago