Today I saw a miniature version of Carol…her name Claire. She is Express Subs and Sushi’s mascot… well she is the boss’s daughter and she is three years old and part South Korean. I think I scared poor Claire, she must have sensed my thoughts, which explained why she kept running away from me. I could see it now, telling ‘Carol’ about this.
Me: Hey Carol I saw a little girl she looked like a miniature version of you
Carol: No you didn’t there are no such things as miniature versions of me.
Me: I think she reads minds…because when I thought about you she ran away.
Carol: People can’t read minds. That’s just stupid. She ran away because she sensed your weirdness.
Me: Fair enough!
Carol: No it isn’t, nothing is fare, which is why I’m fat.
Me: Awwhhhh come on Carol, you’re not fat.
Carol: Yes I am…which is why I will never see my dream to become a waitress.
The obsession with weight, it irritates the hell out of me…My family members are obsessed and every girl I have talked too says at one point or another “I’m fat” I have met ” I have come to the conclusion that there are six types of responses I have encountered.
1. Those who are generally concerned:
Mom: scornfully warning me in a motherly way: Melissa you have to be careful of what you eat. diabetes runs in the family. You don’t want a bunch of health problems when you grow up. You drink too much pop. Hopefully you get enough calcium or your bones will break into a billion pieces and you will be crippled by the time your 30.
2. There are those who state it yet, really have no intention of doing anything about it or are perfectly happy with it to an extent.
Joan: I’m getting fat…giggles. I have to start eating healthier. But its sooo hard!
3. There are those who actually do care and are doing so for specific reasons.
Kayla: I want to eat healthier so I can loose weight and get a boyfriend.
4. Then there are those who don’t care at all.
Louie: I don’t care what I eat, I see all these people who eat healthy, go for there daily walks and they get cancer and still die. I’m going out with a bang.
5. Then those who say they don’t care, but secretly do, but accept it as a fact of life
Me: I should eat healthier and watch what I eat, because diabetes runs in my family. Although sometimes I think, why bother? I am a bit chubby, but then I look in the mirror and think “Meh, I’ve seen fatter” And in the end, just as Louie has said those who take care of themselves either die of some disease or get hit by a bus while there on their daily run.
6. Then there are those who accept it as fact and complain about it.
Carol: I’m fat and I can’t work at the restaurant because of it. They don’t hire fat waitresses. I can’t wear that because I am fat.
Ah yes my very cryptic remark: OK I'll be truthful, I started off the day liking Kayla, but she got on my nerves again when she mentioning my eating habits and acted like miss know it all. Now I have more respect for Joan because we made peace over the whole flat moving episode. Joan says it turned out for the best and I agree. Its a conundrum because I can never figure out if I like or hate someone.
I finally finished another Wild Will story, this story has some crude language as I strayed away from basing the story on an A.E.S.M member. I am also proud to say Wild Will is meaner than ever. Its called: The Horror of Love… Here it is…
It was a dark Friday night. Chris and Melissa, two mismatched star crossed friends, walk down the dark path. Chris and Melissa were looking for Antonia. They were supposed to meet her and Kinwai at 7:30 at the Birdcage Bar, but she was mysteriously absent. Melissa feels like this is a beginning of a horror movie.
“You know Chris this reminds me of a horror movie because its dark and all,” she said.
“Yeah well, what would we kind of stuff would we talk about if we were in a horror movie and about to be mercifully dilapidated,” said Chris.
“Oh no its Freddy Kruger,” said Chris.
A Freddy Kruger look-alike jumps from behind a tree.
“Oh no, I won’t be sleeping tonight, better get my crucifix,” Melissa replied.
The friends keep walking unaware famous horror movie psychos were not around because the writer does not steal other characters.
“Whoo its Chucky and hey look its Jason,” said Melissa.
“And there is Michael Myers,” said Chris.
“Ahhh,” said Melissa.
“What? What is it?” said Chris. “Oh wait its only Joan and she is holding a knife.”
“Ahhh,” Melissa screamed. She runs away.
Joan is suspended in mid air after jumping from a near by bush.”Hi Mel!” said Joan in an annoying high pitched voice. “I mean sorry Mel…issa.”
“You want brownies?” she asks holding a pan of brownies.
© Melissa Canadian 2006 All rights reserved.
Ha! I interrupted the story at a crucial point, but you can read the rest of it here if you feel the inclination to do so.
And thats about it for today....
A Life of Choice
7 years ago