Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I eat off my floor. Superman is my hero

For two days in a row… Joan has woken me up in the early morning. It was all about pie. Today I was fortunate…Joan came over yesterday wanting me to try out a piece of her lemon pie that she had made. I was half asleep. I dropped a piece on the floor and she still made me eat it. It’s safe to say I swept and mopped my floor after this incident. Since I lately I have been so found of the script format I shall share this with you.

Joan: Mel…lissa… Are you a awake? Come on walk up. I know your home….
Me: Who is it?
Me thinking: Obviously its Joan…Who else says my name Mel and then issa in attempt to correct themselves. Pretend you’r estill asleep why you have a chance. Not again!
Joan: It’s me Jo…. Melissa! Starts to whine while she says my name.
Me: I’m coming!
I open the door. Joan dressed to the nines as always, stand at my door with a white plate, complete with a tiny little sliver of pie.
Joan: do you want to try my pie. I am giving a piece to everyone I bugged yesterday in order to make it.
Thinks back to Yesterday… Ah yes the whisk you wished to have.
Me: OK thank you Joan.
Me thinking: I am tired… I don’t want pie now. I’ll try it later and give her plate back when I am done.
She stands there looking rather excited… obviously she wants me to try it.
Joan: Try it is tastes really lovely. I was able to borrow a beater from someone else.
Me thinking: I wonder how many more residents she bugged?
Me: OK I just woke up. I am going to make some coffee.
I turn on the kettle, the water starts to boil.
Joan: babbles on about the pie she made. I found this recipe on the internet… and its wonderful I think I am going to keep this recipe. It was nice as. The other one I tried didn’t work out at all.
Me thinking: Pretend to sound interested… must have coffee… COFFEE!
Me: I see….
I turn around from the kettle… the piece of pie slips of the plate… landing on the floor.
Me: Whoops!..
Note this was seriously accidental and I did intend on trying the pie.
Joan: Oh no!
I pick it off the ground. The pie battered and smooched.
Me: I guess I have to throw it out.
Joan: Looks kind of upset.
Me thinking: I trust my floor so I will eat it. I have been mean to Joan enough lately.
Me: I can eat it. My floor is not that dirty. Even thought it’s kind of gross to eat off a floor.
Me thinking: Ewww…. It hasn’t been swept or mopped in months. I don’t eat off the floor unless I am desperate.
Joan: Looks happier. OK… I eat off my floor all the time, when I drop stuff. And believe me, you should see my floor. Laughs her annoying high pitched laugh. Don’t worry it’s not disgusting. Lots of people do it.
Me thinking: It appears I will be one of them.
Me: OK….
I grab the pie swallow it up as quickly as I can…I clean off her plate and dry it for her. It tastes good.
Joan: It was good wasn’t it… what did you think of the lemon?
Me: It was good.
Me thinking: I think I tasted dust… bleh. But the lemon filling tasted good. My aunt makes better pie than you. Mwhahahahahaha!
Joan: Well I must be going… I have pie to give to others.
Me: OK see you later.
Me thinking: Get lost already… hopefully no else drops their piece on the floor. Ah Joan you are a character.

Note to Amy: I told my mom, that you said she was the “coolest Canadian mum ever.” She told me to tell you thank you. My mom was curious on why you thought so.

Last night I finally finished the movie Amy, Chris, Antonia and I filmed almost three weeks ago. It’s a silent film with subtitles… and Beethoven is the musical background. At the end I used a song by Buddy Holly. It’s really cool.

Have you ever had one of those days? The ones that is completely uneventful. That’s what it has been like since Monday. Nothing interesting has happened. Yet its not necessarily a bad thing. It’s been relaxing. I’ve been able to write a lot.

I am excited Superman has opened in theatres… I really want to see it.

I don’t like Superman because he is the ultimate hero. He reminds me of the Greek mythological hero, for instance Hercules, strong, invincible to anything, unbreakable. I like Superman because its something my brother and I shared as an interest. I remember when he was 10 and I was 17, my mom bought him the set of Superman movies. He loved them. He even thought he could fly. He tried to jump of the stairs outside and wore a towel as a cape. I also like Superman because although he is unable to be wounded he still has the human qualities of love, hate and anger. Superman was also created by Canadian Joe Shuster, and his friend Jerry Sigel. It is said that Lois Lane was modelled after Shuster’s wife. The imagination and the inner turmoil of the character is something that interests me but….

I don’t like the Superman story, or at least part of it, because it confuses me on why Lois Lane never figures out that Clark Kent and Superman are the same person. I mean all that is different is Superman has a part in his hair on the opposite side of his head and wears a ridiculous blue spandex and a red cape. Clark Kent has glasses. If Lois Lane is such a news hound and so intelligent why hasn’t she figured it out yet. Superman is confident and heroic. Clark Kent is a shy bumbling fool. Either way the same man is in love with Lois. Lois doesn’t even give Clark a chance. It’s unfair because only the audience knows of the double identities. I also noticed how Superman will do an incredible amount of damage while rescuing someone of fighting the villain, yet his not made to repair or reimburse for his actions. This just goes to show I think too much about stuff.

I feel like a charity case. I have been without my friends for awhile. Not that I am not enjoying it. It gives me time to write my stories and collect my thoughts. The manager of where I live, Evelyn invited me to come to the Botanic Gardens with her, and her adopted grandchildren. I felt like a tag along. It wasn’t that bad really. I took my camera and the one of the kids was annoyed with me because I took to many pictures and the other kept telling me which pictures to take and how I should and shouldn’t take them. I felt like telling them to f off but that wouldn’t be appropriate or nice and well their kids. They grow out of the annoyingness, hopefully.

I finished my story for Chris. You can read it here. Chris is the coolest. When I first met him he mentioned Alanis Morissette because I am Canadian and she is his idol. I still don’t understand why. I kind of wanted to be his friend because he seemed really interesting. If it wasn’t for Amy inviting him to McDonalds over a month ago, I don’t think we would be friends like we are now and if I never approached Amy and talked about Bollywood I might never have gone to McDonalds with them. It’s like a chain reaction or like Newtons Law, for every action there is an equal or opposite reaction.

Note to Chris: Hopefully you read my blog. I wrote this story for you out of friendship. It’s different then the story I wrote for Amy because you’re not going away and because it’s slightly more vulgar and weird. Take note of the inside jokes. Hint, hint, wink, wink.

I am kind of sad. Amy is leaving for Canberra tomorrow. In fact I think I had a dream about it. It started off weird. My mom and brother were at my house here in Australia. My mom was really depressed and upset. She started to threaten that she was going to leave because the back yard, the front yard, the living room, the kitchen, you name it was trashed in my house because of my brother. They finally left. But when I looked out my door it was Amy leaving instead.

1 comment:

Amy said...

Hahahaha- Melissa...Joan is so hilarious!! I love her to death just because of the way you and her seem to react together! It's seriously funny! I wish i could have tasted her pie...
You'll have to keep writing antedotes abotu her cause they seriously make my day! Oh, and i've noticed you have turned even more so into a scriptwriter - even writing scripts in your blog!
Yes, your mum is the coolest. My life has been uneventful as well...Yogi texted me asking if we'd like to meet up with him but i got the text on Thursday night!!! He has the worst timing in the history of the world! It's funny about the kids at the gardens, i can just imagine you fuming and wishing you could tell them off! I'm gonna read the story to Chris now!

I'm gonna miss you so much! I can't believe how close a friend you have come to me in such a short period of time! And i think inviting Chris to McDonalds that day was one of the best decisions of my life!
Luv yoU!
-Amy