I thought perhaps I would be doomed to have a flat to myself…but apparently I won’t. Today I got a new flatmate, who I have yet to meet and as soon Kayla leaves another, will move right in. Other than that nothing else has happened worth mentioning…On to other things.
I have a surprise for all of you….
A Carol story: A story inspired by my floundering marks in Intro to Communication and Culture and Chris of course.
Carol has a flash back to Canada Carol studied Ancient History in college.
Carol sits in the class. The class is about to end. The instructor Mr. McGlonagkic reads over her work.
McGlonagkic:Umm Carol I would like to talk to you about your essay on Greece at the end of class.
Carol: That’s stupid. Why do you want to talk about something I have already done?
McGlonagkic: Because I am concerned about your essay entitled ‘Gospel of Grease’ Its only three paragraphs long and your references are quite odd.
Gospel of Grease by Carol
Ancient Grease was actually called Greek. Grease is the oily stuff in deep fryers and car like machinery and is not about the movie Grease staring Elton John. The Greek are best known for inventing fire and making pyramids out of rock like sandy wet stuff know to them as mud.
Melissa is Greek she told me so. Her name in Greek means stupid retarded weird girl and mine name in Greek means song of the fat girl. Greek invented Rome and Egypt and xenophobia which are fear of fat people.
Ελληνική Ρώμη και Αίγυπτος και ξενοφοβία που είναι φόβος των παχιών ανθρώπων. Melissa είναι ελληνικά αυτή με είπε έτσι. Το όνομά της στο ελληνικό όνομα κοριτσιών και ορυχείων μέσων ηλίθιο καθυστερημένο παράξενο στο ελληνικό τραγούδι μέσων του παχιού κοριτσιού.
McGlonagkic: Carol can you explain to me why the last paragraph is in Greek?
Carol: Because it makes the essay more professional like
McGlonagkic: I see, well what does it say in Greek?
Carol: It says Carol is smart and Melissa is a Greek.
McGlonagkic: I was under the impression that it meant, Greek Rome and Egypt and fear of thick persons Melissa they are Greek this me it said thus, her name in the Greek name of girls and mines medium idiotic delayed strange in the Greek song of means of thick girl.
Carol: Looks perplexed I have babelfisheria…I caught it from Melissa.
McGlonagkic: I was hoping you could explain your references. I see you looked at many sources.
Carol, C 2005, Ancient History, Carol publishing, Caroland Alberta Canada
Carol, C 2005, The Anthology of Carol is All Knowing, I Am Always Right Inc. Melissaville, Alberta Canada
McKenna, M, The Encyclopaedia of useless trivial facts, Anthem of Praise publishing, NERDY Melissatown, Queensland Australia
Woo, C 2006, That Stupid Musical Encyclopedia That Proved Me Wrong, FERGUS publishing, Queensland Australia.
McGlonagkic: Carol is these references even real?
Carol: Yes. They are
McGlonagkic: Well can you show them in hard copy to me?
Carol: Fine! She shoves a book that says ‘By Carol: Carol is ALWAYS right!’
McGlonagkic: Carol this is a copy of Woman’s Day
Carol: You’re a copy of Woman’s Day
McGlonagkic: No I’m not.
Carol: Unless I failed this assignment miserably I see in point in my presence here because I am fat and I take up space.
McGlonagkic: Carol you ARE failing miserably.
Melissa walks in the room after just finishing French class.
Melissa: Bonjour Monsieur Mcglonagkic De Hymne de louange Bonjour
McGlonagkic: Bonjour Mélisse comment allez vous aujourd'hui ?
Carol: Why are you two speaking in French?
Melissa: Because its fun to speak in French.
Carol: Nooo we don’t live in Quebec Melissa.
Melissa: Carol I am learning French, so if people in Australia ask me if I speak French can say Pourquoi naturellement je
Carol: You just said I am fat…didn’t you. I hate you.
Melissa: No Carol I said “Why of course I do!” or ‘why naturally I’
McGlonagkic: Interrupting Sorry Melissa I was just in meeting with Carol about her essay.
Melissa: The one about Greece? Umm yeah she’s lying I am Irish.
Carol: If your Irish how come you don’t have red hair and you speak in a funny accent type way.
Melissa: They’re just stereotypes Carol
Carol: What type of stereo? I thought only the Japanese made those.
McGlonagkic: I’m Irish too. How did you know about her essay Melissa?
Melissa: I proof read it.
McGlonagkic: That explains the grammar and what not.
Melissa: Oh yeah and Melissa means honey bee in Greek. And there is no meaning for the name Carol in Greek.
Carol: Nooo it means Song
Melissa: Yeah in German
Carol: Were not talking about Germania we are talking about Greek.
McGlonagkic: Look Carol you failed the assignment because it’s inaccurate and poorly written. Greeks didn’t invent fire and it was the Egyptians who built the pyramids. Also xenophobia is fear of strangers or of the unknown.
Carol: You’re inaccurate and poorly written
McGlonagkic: Look! read this book and rewrite the essay by Friday or I WILL fail you. He hands Carol a textbook, Ancient History and Civilizations.
Carol: Who is this history book and why does he keep proving me wrong? She storms out of the room Melissa runs after her
A Life of Choice
8 years ago