Because the name makes Chris laugh :)
Amy brought up this important point. I am mean to Carol in my blog. Hmmmm…. Perhaps I should stop but then again there is no harm intended to the actual Carol. Read here and it explains the whole Carol conundrum.
THESE STORIES ARE A TRIBUTE NOT AN INSULT.
Today I had to go the doctors because I was sick. Chris made me! She was the meanest doctor I have ever met. Anyways while I was waiting in the doctor’s office….I wrote a Justin/Joan/Chris/Jack and Carol story….
Justin and Joan are at the movies. They sit silently in the theatre waiting for it to start. Melissa, Carol and Chris walk in. They have just gotten back from the planetarium.
Melissa: Hey Carol this is Justin and Joan.
Joan: Hi Carol so lovely to meet you. Do you think this dress makes me look fat?
Justin: Well you’re fat Carol!
Melissa: Do not talk to my friends that way or I will hurt you.
Carol: Yeah you don’t want to see an ANGRY NERDY retarded weird girl and if you’re mean to Melissa I’ll lay a sumo smack down on you!
Justin: Some friend Melissa. By the way Carol you’re FAT!
Carol: You smell. She passes out.
Melissa: Carol, Carol wake up! Geeze Justin ever hear of deodorant?
Chris: Carol you right?
Carol wakes up in a daze.
Carol: Oh my goodness the stench it was just too much!
Joan: Excuse me? Justin’s smell is lovely.
Melissa: No his smell is feral.
Chris: Melissa, be nice.
Carol: Noooo Melissa, be mean. Tell the big stinky fat Aussie man what you think!
Jack shows up at the theatre.
Jack: Hey guys sorry I’m late. I got lost behind this weird looking plant.
Chris: Hey Jack!
Carol: Was it a beanstalk?
Jack: Ummm…noooo that’s weird. Do you think that weird? Am I being weird?
Chris: No you’re not
Melissa: Ummm… Jack you worry too much
Carol: OK where is Jill?
Melissa: Uh never mind the movie is coming on.
Carol: Noooo you never your mind. Melissa is coming on to Jack.
Melissa: Shut up Carol! No I’m not.
Joan: Hi Jack. Waves a big happy Joan like wave.
Justin: I’m jealous He folds his arms angrily and pouts.
Chris: Justin she just said hi!
Justin: Don’t talk to me! You wig me out!
Chris: Why is it because I’m gay?
Justin: No it’s because you’re Chris
Chris: Stop using words!
Melissa: Guys the movie is coming on!
Jack tickles Melissa. She bursts out laughing.
Carol: How come you’re not tickling me? Am I too FAT to tickle? Are you afraid you’re fingers will get sucked into my fat?
Jack: Noooo that’s weird. Am I being weird? Is this weird? Melissa is it? I’m sorry….
Melissa: God damn it no! You’re not being weird. You just worry too much. Oh yes don’t tickle me again. (Whispers) Carol gets jealous.
Carol: Yeah because NERDY retarded weird girls are ticklish. (She leans over to Jack and whispers.) She likes you.
Melissa: Noooo I mean yes. No no I mean no.
Chris: Jack, Melissa wants to make sweet sweet love to you.
Carol: Yes Melissa, but your forgetting about Jill. Think how she might feel about Melissa chasing after you Jack.
Jack: Whose Jill? Am I going to be chased down a hill? That’s weird. Am I being weird?
Carol: OH you’re a WEIRD NERDY retarded weird boy. Sounds like a match to me.
Joan: Are you talking about me? Who is this Jill?
Melissa: There is no Jill. Carol was just being a fat ass I mean smart ass and referring to the nursery rhyme.
Carol: Melissa! Isn’t it a little soon to think about babies, specifically if Jack eats them?
Jack: What! I don’t eat babies!
Carol: But Chris told Melissa you did….Melissa NEVER lies to me because I am her only and bestest friend.
Chris: Ummm yeah I was just ummm Well Melissa asked me if you were single and I was kind of put on the spot and uh Yeah! THAT’S TOPS! Gives a thumbs up.
Melissa runs away.
Carol: Melissa? MELISSA?
A silhouette dust cloud of Melissa remains. Carol walks out the theatre to look for Melissa. Chris follows.