Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Jack, Jill, the Beanstalk and Carol

Jack and Jill
Went up a hill
Jack fell down
And Jill
Came tumbling after…

Today I was thinking about Jack, Jack and Jill and Jack and the Beanstalk, which inspired a Carol story…

Melissa is talking to Carol when she mentions meeting Chris’s friend Jack.

Melissa: My friend Chris has a friend named Jack. I like him a lot he is cool.
Carol: Noooo you don’t have any friends but me.
Melissa: Yes I do
Carol: Well what about Jill?
Melissa: Jill?
Carol: Yes Jack and Jill
Melissa: I’m not talking about Jack and Jill I am talking about Chris’s friend Jack.
Carol: Is Chris the giant?
Melissa: The what? No Carol that’s Jack and the Beanstalk. Chris is my friend.
Carol: I don’t like that story because it discriminates FAT people and it offends me because I am fat.
Melissa: How does it discriminate fat people?
Carol: Because they use the word giant
Melissa: Maybe because there is a giant in the story
Carol: You’re a giant story
Melissa: No you are!
Carol: You’re taller than me. If you were my height you would be FAT too!
Melissa: What! Carol Jack is a real person and he is not related to Jack and Jill or Jack and the Beanstalk
Carol: Soooo is Jack single then if he has no Jill or a beanstalk
Melissa: That’s the stupidest thing I ever heard. Anyways I asked Chris and he said Jack eats babies
Carol: WHAT! That’s terrible.
Melissa: Carol it’s a Chris like response.
Carol: There is no such thing as Chris like response it sounds like a NERDY retarded weird girl terminology. You have a FAT brain, I wish you would stop flaunting it.
Melissa: No no it’s a way to describe how he would react to certain questions or remarks. Chris reacts with a strange sentence or phrase. Your over reaction to everything I say would be a Carol like response.
Carol: I hate you!

My Grandma sent me this...in the words of Chris I are thought it was funny.

How many FERGUS'S I mean dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Apparently a lot! Read on my friends.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting 1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
4. Rottweiler: Make me. - My favourite :)

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.?
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb!

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or "We don't need no stinking light bulb."


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
12. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
13. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
14. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: "How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?" ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF!

1 comment:

8------ (what's this) said...

What's a Ferus?