When you fall in love with some one, you can temporarily put the feelings on a shelf, but you can easily take it down if the love is returned or like me in irrational clumsiness knock it down and open up the heart to the beauty of the feelings whether they are returned or not. Knocking down the feelings off the shelf in the back of my mind isn’t a bad thing, it reminds that I am human and an emotional feeling being and there is no shame in having them. Anger reminds you that you are alive and love keeps you there. Emotions are what make the world go round.
I still love someone but that doesn’t mean I can’t be near them and bask in there wonderfulness that I like about them and it doesn’t mean I can’t show them either. If nothing happens then all is not lost. I’ve gained an amazing friend even if I do want to punch them in the face every once in a while.
My trip to Edmonton went well. It was spiritually insightful and reviving. Some may say it might be joyful ignorance but once you experience it, you know and those who never had or are against it will never understand. I had this unmistakable high and so much love in my heart I just wanted to hug everyone so they could feel as happy as I did. For the first time I felt connected to God. Besides religion is something man made to reach or to please God, a relationship is something entirely different and I wonder if some people don’t distinguish between the two of them. I also believe it’s good to see both the Christian world and the secular world so you can see both sides and come to a decision on which truth or belief speaks to you.
I even successfully over came my fear of crowds by Sunday it didn’t even phase me. I finally felt normal for a change; despite the fact I think word normal is a culturally subjective and this word should not be a in our language. THE END!
P.S. I believe in God and all that entails!