Carol wants to visit again for an entire month, emphasis on the words wants and month. Good luck Carol! I don’t mean that sarcastically either.
Officer Octogenarian off duty and autosexual?
The following statments have been released by the Bamboozle Police department.
Recently Editor in Chief of Bamboozle Nigel Bottington who posses the power of gaydar, much like the superhero Captain Bottlepop has outed fellow police Officer Oliver Octogenarian as an ‘autosexual.’
This rumour can be seen as disgustingly untrue by Officer Octogenarian.
The police department believes autosexuality does not exist, as any man or woman would not willingly have relations automobiles as it is physically impossible. Only can it be done inside with two people and Octogenarian is only one person.
This is considered a serious medical condition by many psychologists and to be safe Officer Octogenarian has been banned from reading automobile related magazines and websites and will not be allowed to use his police cruiser, while we investigate his sexuality further.
“We ask fellow Bamboozoolians to stop stalking Officer Octogenarian and suggesting he take Chramyelonia,” said Bamboozle Police Chief Arthur Wally. “He is still an officer of the law and he is no way sick. Have some respect.”
As the community at large may already know Officer Octogenarian is a self proclaimed narcissist, which has been proven to be a medical condition, most likely from starring at mirrors to long and ingesting Narcissus flowers. He has since been ordered to procure a diet of bubble gum flavoured ice cream, diet soft drink and lemon tarts to cure his self infatuation with himself.
However, Chief Wally said narcissism only annoys colleagues and people and it in no way affects his judgement as a police officer.
“I have suggested to Octogenarian on many occasions that perhaps he should be a model or an actor,” he said. “Well maybe more so of a model rather than an actor, but other than that I would say he is a damn fine police officer. I mean that in the literal sense not the physical.”
P.S. I hope no one is offended by these comments. By the way Officer Octogenarian is still not sure what Nigel means by “autosexual”
This rumour can be seen as disgustingly untrue by Officer Octogenarian.
The police department believes autosexuality does not exist, as any man or woman would not willingly have relations automobiles as it is physically impossible. Only can it be done inside with two people and Octogenarian is only one person.
This is considered a serious medical condition by many psychologists and to be safe Officer Octogenarian has been banned from reading automobile related magazines and websites and will not be allowed to use his police cruiser, while we investigate his sexuality further.
“We ask fellow Bamboozoolians to stop stalking Officer Octogenarian and suggesting he take Chramyelonia,” said Bamboozle Police Chief Arthur Wally. “He is still an officer of the law and he is no way sick. Have some respect.”
As the community at large may already know Officer Octogenarian is a self proclaimed narcissist, which has been proven to be a medical condition, most likely from starring at mirrors to long and ingesting Narcissus flowers. He has since been ordered to procure a diet of bubble gum flavoured ice cream, diet soft drink and lemon tarts to cure his self infatuation with himself.
However, Chief Wally said narcissism only annoys colleagues and people and it in no way affects his judgement as a police officer.
“I have suggested to Octogenarian on many occasions that perhaps he should be a model or an actor,” he said. “Well maybe more so of a model rather than an actor, but other than that I would say he is a damn fine police officer. I mean that in the literal sense not the physical.”
P.S. I hope no one is offended by these comments. By the way Officer Octogenarian is still not sure what Nigel means by “autosexual”
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