Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The mixed message birthday party full of dog flakes

I don't know when I will get the use of the computer again so....I shall write an entry.
So Pretty Blue Eyes is still sending the mixed messages....

Whilst at my special needs friends Erica's birthday party, (which I had to ride my moms monsterly out of shape rusted piece of shit bike to church to invite people that don't even know her and are assumed to want to come by Hev-Lady. ) He randomly asks my mom if she has a picture of when she was young and when asked he responded by saying he was only curious. What the?

So I asked him later by way of texting...
Me: Why did you want to see a picture of my mom when she was younger?
Pretty Blue Eyes: Just curious.
Me: Yes but why?
Pretty Blue Eyes: Dang it can't a guy be curious?
Me: No never!

Ulterior motives perhaps! A friend said it was a good thing because he wants to see what I look like when I am older like my mom to see if its worth it. Ummm it doesn't make sense but it is weird none the less, either that or Pretty Blue Eyes has the hots for my mom which would be entirely disturbing on so many levels. It seemed like everyone at the party had the hots for him! Especially Erica she candidly told me how she wants him to be her sweetie but apparently he is taken by me. Not quite yet! I am just content for now to be his friend because now I am getting to see how annoying and arrogant he is too! A pretty blue blessing in disguise. I wish I could stop focusing all my attention on him, but I am knew to this whole thing.

Then previously my friend Matthew was making fun of my moms poor handsome dog Weiser. (Had to say he was handsome) Just because he has a skin condition and really bad dandruff. It doesn't help that Weiser is very old and very black so the dandruff is noticeable.

Matthew: Urgh the dog has dandruff a hahahahahahha! Look at him scratch...something something something....blahbedy blah (Something along those lines)
Me: Stop making fun of my mom's dog. (I go to sit on chair Weiser had previously stolen something of a theme with him that night)
Matthew: Ha look there is his flakes all over the chair.
Me: (Brush them off)Its not his fault.
Matthew: (continues laughing) Fish food.
Me: You're fish food
Matthew: I am sure its highly nutritious.
Me: His flakes? Yes I can see it now lifting him up and shaking my moms dog over a fish tank to feed them.
Matthew: (Laughs) That could work.

Then before that...seems like this entry goes further and further back in time. :P
Matthew: (Wandering around my backyard.) Looks at raspberry bush and takes berry off and eats it.
Me: Don't let my mom see you do that! (
Me thinking: Ever heard of asking?!
Matthew: It's not like there is a plentiful supply of them.
Me: That's because my mom picked most of them the day before to make her diabetic raspberry jam.
Matthew: (reacts with mild uncaring) So!
Me: Your lucky I won't tell on you. (P.S. I did just to be a dink)
Me thinking: Gosh I sounded so childish!

So I guess its safe to say Matthew is a source of interesting hilarity, odd moments and memorable conversations. He reminds me of a surrogate version of Amy and Chris combined. Breathtakingly beautiful, yet even more beautiful and joyous in the inside and really cute with eyes full of intellect and knowledge combined with very strange sense of humour and child like nature like Chris. He is my Canadian replacement of the A.E.S.M.

Then even more before that...

Sydney was a dink and told pretty much every guest off! Then Hev-Lady took it upon herself to discipline him for it and when I said it was my job I was apparently embarrassing her in front of the customers. Yes thats right customers.

Sydney: Grrrrr!!! Barkety bark bark bark...(Perhaps translated to something like I don't know you therefore go away I hate you?)
Mom: Sydney you bad boy. (Gives him a smack)
Me thinking: GRRRRRR!!!!!
Me: Mom Sydney is my dog I would like to be the one to discipline him!
Mom: How dare you embarrass me in front of the customers!
Me: Uhhhh??? I was going to take him for a time out.
Mom: I meant to say customers...I mean guests. I have no idea why I want to call them customers.
Me: OK. (sulks and takes Sydney to my room for time out)
Mom: You're mad at me aren't you?
Me: No! (OK I obviously am.)He just needs to suss them out to see if there OK. I was going to calm my dog down and so on and so forth.
Mom: I am sorry that I disciplined Sydney in front of the customers. I know that your mad at me for it.
Me: I am not mad at you!
Then of course pretty much for the next 2 hours.
Mom: You're mad at me!
Mom: I wish Melissa wasn't mad at me.
Mom: You're still mad at me aren't you?
Mom: It's not nice to be mad at me in front of the customers.
How about...
Mom: Melissa is mad at me about disciplining Sydney
Then of course...
Mom: Melissa are you mad at me?

Hence to say I was more mad at Hev-Lady bringing up how mad I am every five minutes. I may have momentarily embarrassed her in front of everyone concerning my dog, but seriously she lied on the guilt all night! The only amusing thing was her constant reference to our odd assortment of guests as customers. Not to mention I was mad at myself for the obsessing over Pretty Blue Eyes. It's like every little thing he does I overtly analyze to the point of insanity. I was also mad at Hev-Lady for pretty much acting like she was some matronly saint for hosting a party for Erica and I couldn't even go and talk to people in a separate room from her she clings to me like fly paper. So I guess I was mad at her. I was just to stubborn to admit it.

Anyways, Erica's birthday was successful considering our location, people showed up enough said. We had some eats there was burgers minus the barbeque. (Good thing my mom had a George Forman Grill.) t also is especially nice I went through massive amounts of trouble to get Matthew precious mayonnaise from the back of the entire fridge. THE ENTIRE FRIDGE! I got beaned in the head by a can of no name brand cola. The chips were good too, but most importantly Erica was glowing and to me that was priceless. This paragraph was a entirely random and scatterbrained. The beauty of stream of consciousness.

Then of course the whole writing thing is still bothering me....

P.S. My mom's dog Weiser is currently trapped on the table. It gives me the silly Melissa giggles. Ah yes and sadly there be no banana bread at Erica's party. :(

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