My Antarctic Penguin Adventure!

Dear readers who are not averse to read randomness,

I am still convinced certain friends have no sense of humour. A couple of weeks ago after a week of still “rescuing their laundry from the apparently evil Ev-Lady,” This time my flatmate was getting sick of looking at Joan’s bra. So I devised another scare tactic text.

“If you don’t come and get your stuff it will get eaten! And by that I mean dressing the naked lady statue outside and leaving it in the rain. THE ENTIRE RAIN! As she demands clothing and warmth. P.S. my flatmate is going to go Germaine Greer on your bra and I’m gong to try on your mini skirt.”

Unfortunately, I was rung moments later by Justin, who did not see the “joke in it.” Then to make it even more random, my flatmate Elise was chanting “Uguchaka” our worshiping naked lady statue chant in the background. This caused Justin to mention she was psycho. No she just has a sense of humour!

May I point out to last the entry? I wouldn’t let anything happen to Justin and Joan’s precious stuff. I like them, why would I do mean things like that? It was an entire joke. AN ENTIRE JOKE! My flatmate knew it was joke and I am pretty sure others would too. It wouldn’t take a genius to figure out I wasn’t serious. Which I might add was successful message as Justin came to collect the stuff. So where both of them just oblivious to the fact it was humour or do they have none? Besides the naked lady statue wasn’t particularly interested in Justin and Joan’s clothing, she’d prefer some nice silks from the props at certain photography studio. THE END!

I keep having strange dreams…This one tops all of them!

It started off with my brother in my room and sadly just like old times he was making a mess in my room, by throwing stuff and breaking things. This of course really pissed me off. I was about to kick him out, when a scientist arrived at my door and informed me that my brother and I had been selected for an experiment and we were turning into penguins. It was time for us to leave and be taken to Antarctica. I remember my mom waving goodbye.

As we came to the door, I suddenly felt very short and felt like I was wobbling. We were at one point meandering down the city street and a big brown dog came up to me and tried to eat me! The scientist offered no or little help. Then after I fought the big brown dog off I saw a vulture and I knew I would have the same problem with him. Luckily the scientist came to rescue my brother and me in a black limo, running over the vulture. This was lucky because there was an alligator not far behind as well.

Once my brother and I were safe inside, I suddenly had the urge to eat raw fish. We drove all over I think it was North America until we came to the ocean and the limo turned into a deep sea submarine. Soon we arrived in Antarctica I saw others like me. Apparently they too were turned into penguins but they could still only see their human self as that is what they had been conditioned to believe. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t see my penguin body, but my normal human self.

To test my readiness for penguin-hood they placed me in the cold ocean water. I panicked and nearly froze from the cold. They said it wouldn’t take long so they placed my brother and me on a fancy ice sculpture. I followed the other human to penguin experiments to the top. I suddenly realised this was my new life and I have to take care of my brother. I realised I had to feed him by eating fish and vomiting it back into his mouth as he was just a little baby penguin. He however rejected it because he did not understand what was going on. I then tried again by vomiting into my hand and offering it too him. I told him it was eggs and mushrooms, his favourite foods. He didn’t believe me.

P.S. The humour or lack there of thing wasn’t meant to be an insult. It was just my rant for the day.