Cats are not microwaveable

Alrighty so I should be out looking for a job, but the fact of the matter is I am lazy. That’s right I am lazy. I am so lazy I want the job to come looking for me instead of me looking for the job. I am also obsessed with Donkey Kong Country. However, I beat the entire game. THE ENTIRE GAME! I was stuck on this stupid winter level for three days or more, but finally I just gave it a lot of concentration and I finished it.


I am still trying to write but I think because of my lack of productivity I am unable to think of anything to write or write down. This is just another reason to find a job. They always say full house empty mind.

I recently found out from my mom, that my brother Tony tried to microwave an entire cat. AN ENTIRE CAT!? Apparently yesterday Tony put his pet kitten Picaso in the microwave and turned it on. Luckily my mom stopped him. The cat was scared and heated up (quite literally) but she is OK now. My said after she gave him a talking too and explained what he did was wrong, to which he responded with a heartfelt cry. So hopefully he understood. I reckon they should have warning labels on small animals just like other non microwavable containers.

This inspires a Philis story.

Ashleigh: My brother Zach put his pet cat in the microwave!
Philis: What! That’s terrible!
Ashleigh: Clearly….
Philis: Why would your brother microwave a cat he’s not from that Chinese restaurant is he?
Ashleigh: Philis you know that using cats in place of chickens is just an unverifiable rumour.
Philis: Where does Antonia get all her chicken and stuff Chinese food then?
Ashleigh: Antonia runs a French restaurant.
Philis: I heard she uses mermaids….and the Bamboozle Chronicle Herald staff knooooow about it but they won’t say anything because Antonia let them use her basement as a newsroom while their other newsroom was getting fixed.
Ashleigh: Yeah sadly that is true.
Philis: What! That’s terrible! First your brother murders cats and then Antonia uses mermaids for fish type foods. It’s an insult to my fat when I pay for chicken I want chicken, damn it. When I pay for fish and chips I want the flipping fish!
Ashleigh: If you had let me finish the story about my brother. I would have told you my mom caught him in time and the cat is OK.
Philis: Hev-Lady?
Ashleigh: It’s HEVLYNN!
Philis: It’s all the same to me…case in point dolphins and whales didn’t have legs.
Ashleigh: What ever fat ass!

In breaking news my mom found out my true intentions for staying here in Australia and she was kind of none too pleased due to the financial side of my decision and confused on why I chose to do so, but after careful discussion I explained it too her and she understood. I hope. She said other sad things besides the cat too but I don’t want to discuss it here because it is very sad.

P.S. I am wearing my pink shirt!!