Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

I want to know why?

Today a sermon about Gods love at church really made me think. Actually it kind of pissed me off. The premise (using the story of Lazarus) was pain and how it shows you, you need Jesus. Pain shakes up your life so you realise you need to depend on him because humans are self-centred bastards who would rather do things by themselves then ask God for help. So God makes us suffer because he loves us and he wants us to see that? Why would a loving God want people to suffer?

It made me think of how my brother suffers so much. Recently he broke his foot and had to have surgery on it. He now has Osteoporosis added to his ever alarming list of problems. If God loves all of us why would he allow someone to have so many disabilities and barriers? Where was God when my brother was born? Why does my family have to stand by and watch him suffer? If this is God’s will then it royally sucks! It’s not fair damn I am not blaming Him, I am just wondering…. I don’t even know if my brother even has a relationship with Jesus or knows about Him because he can’t communicate it to me. And Christians some wonder how some can become Atheists!

I asked two people at church today and my mom not one could answer my question properly to my satisfaction.

  1. Just looked at me blankly almost confused and finally after a couple of awkward seconds said “some questions you can’t answer. It’s not fair but its life.” Pfft! Mind I think if I asked around some more this would be a common one.
  2. The second one compared my brother to the Chilean mine rescue of 30 and the horrible earthquake in the same country which killed 300. So basically Tony is on the 300 side. Seriously?
  3. My mom said this God gave my brother a high pain threshold because he knew he’d be in a lot of pain. She doesn’t blame God either. Nice answer Hev-Lady seeing as you didn’t answer my damn question.

Here is what I think. Maybe Tony is the way he is because when they are around him they’re filled with goodness my brother has (That’s not to say he doesn’t have any darkness in his personality because believe me he does). You can see the good side of humanity, people’s compassion, the ability to look past all the medical labels and see a person who brings joy and makes them laugh. He is a treasure underneath all the pain. However, why does he have to have so much hardship in order to see these things? I see a 20 year-old guy a work, a cocky, moody, self absorbed regular guy and I think, that should have, could have been my brother, (minus the cocky self absorbed bit :P). I guess I won’t be able to properly answer this question, but it doesn’t mean I don’t or still won’t think I about it.

P.S. I nearly dropped the f-bomb in front of two little kids whilst I was discussing last week’s power outage.


eddy said...

you're so cute. Have other pictures?

eddy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
eddy said...

I was kidding (i dont know when stop)...I was wandering on the internet,and I find yor blog interesting...I like your style...sorry for my bad english (and my bad humor sense)

see ya