Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!

NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Absense makes writing more fonder?

It feels weird to write again. It’s been over 2 years since I have shared anything on a blog. 2 years, 2 months and 19 days to be exact.
A lot can happen in 2 years.

I read a lot of books, worked a lot of work, dreamed a lot of dreams, gained new interests, dealt with depression, anxiety and finally saw my grandmother after 17 years.  

I feel like I’ve grown out of this writing thing.

Where have I been the last 2 years?  Who wants to read what I have to say? I’ve been so brutally honest in the past that is has caused a lot of trouble and hurt people needlessly.

Depressed that’s what?! Depression is a dark scary monster. It has sucked nearly all the words out of me, leaving my soul bare. My creativity has suffered a slow and painful death. It has taken a very vital part of me. I feel bad if I say I am a writer.

 I choose to rescue my writer self. For weeks in my journals, if I can focus enough to write, (depression makes it hard to focus on anything) I keep writing to myself:

 “I need to write more.”  “I have to write more!” “My writing is suffering.” Etc.

I choose to fight back and tell myself that I can write again, I can beat the darkness that is draining me. The fact that I am starting to produce words again in some form is positive sign. I can slowly feel myself get better. It’s a work in progress. I am healing.

P.S. Haben sie mien do do gesehen?


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