Life and times of an astrophysist who is actually a former journalism student who is really a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl pretending to be an astrophysisist...mispelling INTENDED!


NERD nerdy retarded weird girl central...well mostly my mussings and random interludes whilst I am working towards getting a car and licence so my random adventures and time spent in Australia was worth while. It should be intersting Enjoy! While in Australia...I was sunburnt,went to Sydney and wrote my first novel. So far back in Canadia I have been couch hoping and meandering from city to city. More adventures to come. Hopefully they are as interesting as my Australia ones.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

read own risk Grammar demons beware

9 out of 100 entries…

Well its late, 12 am late. I’m tired, but not tired. My mind is full of thoughts…

Lately I feel like people think I am stupid, shy reserved. Someone actually referred to me as “timid.” Another said I have a “soft heart”…I think people know I don’t have an adequate backbone so they play on it. At work I am apparently known as the quiet one who reads books. I have a vendetta against assumptions. They irritate me. What irks me more is that I sometimes think I secretly agree with what people think of me and I am annoyed with myself for thinking that I am stupid.

Lately I can’t remember my dreams. They are all garbled. Usually I don’t like dreaming. I have anxiety of what my subconscious will display to me in my slumber and occasionally it causes me insomnia because I don’t want to dream. Occasionally I have a really cool, weird dream that results in a story idea and I hope for them often, but lately if I dream they feel like I am in some mild sort of delirium and I cannot remember a thing. I took my special dreams for granted and now I have seemed to have lost them. Grrrr….Hopefully they will come back!

Anyways the reason why I am on the subject of dreams is because my next story fragment deals with a character dreaming. However, I did not dream it (if that makes any sense) but I did write it? I actually remember writing it too, how I felt awkward trying to write horror, I’ve long since abandoned that genre. I’ve settled more into far fetched fiction. When I found it, the file was called. “Qlever Queen read own risk Grammar demons beware.” I can kind of see why. By the way “Qlever is supposed to be Clever.” I used to think that clever was spelt with a q. I even found a comment I made on it 3 years before. :P

Qlever Queen (unofficial title)
Written: Saturday, October 26, 2002
Poem written: Thursday, October 24, 2002

She grabs me by my neck and holds me to the ground. She blows green smoke at me that smells like fish. It is cold and I realize that I am in the woods.
“Face your fears and the stronger you will become,” said a voice.
“Maria?” I said.
The decaying woman becomes more visible underneath the flesh I see Nelda.
“Nelda?” I said.
“Danny, you know me?” she said.
“Of course,” I replied.
“You don’t know how long I have loved you,” she said, as her nose fell off and an ear too.
“I am sorry I don’t feel the same,” I said.
“Go then,” she said. “I hope you know what you did to me.” More flesh fell off.
“Danny,” said the voice. “Run!”
A path was lit in green. It was narrow and hard to see, but you would run too if you were me.
“Danny, this way,” I heard it again.
“Maria!” I said. I saw her crying and then she grabs me.
“Wake up,” she commands me.
I wake up in a terrible sweat, shaking.
“You’re still dreaming,” said Maria in a creepy voice.
“What!” I said.
“You need to face your fears, so you called the friend that you hold dear,” she replied. “Except I am not Maria I am Qlever Queen.”
“You told me never to forget you,” I said still shaking.
“So that’s why I am here. I am sure wish I remembered.”
“If you told me to wake up, why am I still dreaming?” I asked.
“Well you were supposed to but you didn’t listen so I brought you here so she couldn’t get to you.”
“A shamrock is fearless you have to defeat your fear.”
“What am I supposed to do?”
“You have inner strength take something that is powerful from you and use it.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“You will know when you have too. I think I am a clue to what it is.”
“How?”
“I don’t know.”
“I am still your friend right?”
“Yeah.”
“I have to go I can’t do it for you.”
Qlever Queen disappears, green cape, chocolate brown hair and sad eyes.)
The door glows green and bursts open.
“Did you think you could get away so fast?” she said menacingly.
She grabs me and pushes me out the window. I thought, I don’t want to fall out I wont let her get me. I stop in mid air and come back in the window. I look to see the broken glass rebuilding its self piece by piece, like a puzzle.
“Qlever Queen,” said Nelda “Why won’t he love me?”
“Because he loves someone else,” she replied.
“I wish too know who. I want her to appear so I can tell her that he is mine not hers.”
“Qlever Queen looks at her. Her eyes roll back. And she says, “Go ahead and tell me.”
I feel a shock, something I have never felt before.
“First off he doesn’t belong to anyone,” she said. “He belongs to himself.”
“Qlever Queen I want to kiss him weither he wants to or not.”
My mind goes blank. She grabs me and kisses me. Picture this, moulding decaying lips, green teeth and a slimy black tounge. Worst thing is I swallowed her tounge. I spit it out.
“Curly caught your tounge,” said Qlever Queen laughing.
The tounge squirms all over the floor. My mouth tasted like icy soap.
All of a sudden I am in a bathroom.
“Need toothpaste and brush?” asked Qlever Queen.
I quickly grab it and start brushing my teeth. It didn’t get better it got worse. Instead of minty fresh, I got stinky breath. I looked on the paste label it said “fish paste.”
“I love it when a man’s breath smells like fish,” said Nelda, now falling apart even more. She picks her tounge up off the floor and sticks it back in her mouth.
“That’s better,” she said.
“Don’t you think I am more beautiful now?”
I looked in the mirror and saw what she thought she looked like. Instead of a decaying girl, it was Tabitha.
“Tabitha all a long,” I said stunned.
“Do you want to kiss me now?” she asked.
“Not really,” I said.
“To bad,” she grabs me and kisses me again. It was even worse than before. One of her eyes fell out.
“Oh excuse me a minute,” she said picking it up and putting it back in the socket.
“Looking at you with two eyes is better than one.”
Qlever Queen starts to say a poem.

I look out the window
And see his face.
His golden brown hair
And how he walks with grace.
I don’t think he knows
How much I care
His eyes are full of
Beauty and light.
I try not to think about him with all my might.
His brown eyes are soft
And warm.
My love grows stronger
Like a thunder storm.
To have him embrace
Me in his arms is my will.
But, I know in my heart
His love belongs to someone else
Still.
I don’t care if he smells
Like fish.
To have one kiss would
Be my wish
I know he is the one for
Me
He is the only one I see
I look out the window
And I see his face.



“My love belongs to someone still,” I said. Maria I thought.
“No you can’t,” she screamed.
I look at poor Nelda.
“If only you could see what I see,” I said.
She looks in the mirror and screams.
I open the door and start to go.
She collapses to the floor and starts to cry.
“No one loves me,” she cried.
“Nelda, someone loves you,” I said.
“Why don’t you love me?” she asked.
“Because I love someone else,” I said.
“I grab some tissue and wipe her eyes.
“I wish I didn’t feel so bad,” she said.
“Everyone feels bad sometimes,” I said.
“I am sorry,” she said.
“Its OK I am still your friend,” I said.
“You’re my friend?” she said looking at me happily.
“Your nose is running.” I hand her a tissue.
“Thanks I needed that,” she said. “Do you think in a few years you will change your mind?” she asked.
“No I am sorry,” I said. “Do you think you might change your mind?”
“Maybe,” she said.
“You know I think I saw Michael eying you,” I told her.
“Really, the turtle geek?” She started to smile. “Wow Michael.”
“You can go now. I will be OK,” she said.
“OK,” I said. “I will see you at school tomorrow.”
“Yes you most certainly will,” she replied.
“Good,” I said, as I walked out the door.
I woke up for real this time I looked at the clock 5 a.m. Time to get up.

My thoughts: This story needs work. It is crap! I think it should be changed to Clever Queen. Not to mention Qlever Queen disappears than moments later reappears. It makes no sense. This calls for a re-write – Thursday, February 2, 2006

My thoughts: I find this story amusing! What’s with all the body parts falling off of poor Nelda? Hopefully this part would be written after I attempted to explain what a shamrock was. I do agree that a re-write is in order or perhaps consideration to be re-written and place someplace else? Or maybe just read from time to time for mere amusement? It is still nonsensical AND the tenses are mixed up too! – Sunday, April 12, 2009

Maybe tomorrow I will dig up something from 2003....

P.S. I can’t believe I used to think clever was spelt with a q.

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