You are MEAN to him but nice to everyone else? Therefore you must drink from a tap.

It’s been a long absence…

I am the second person out of my friends to update there blog this year.

2006 what a year! It appears 2007 will be just as eventful. It’s already gone off with a bang.

A new year a new enemy…I’m sick of explaining about this one.

A new job – I have a new job at a canteen at the local meat works. They hate me I know it. Perhaps I am just paranoid. But it is an easy job.

Same friends- Yay! Who wouldn’t want to start of the New Year with these amazing individuals?

A new story is in the works –its science fictiony but still silly like the superheroes one. In the words of Philis “Only you would write science fiction like stuff because you’re a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl!” Yes, yes I am. You can read it here if you like.

Amy is a pirate and I am a droid from a distant planet called D3 – you’ll have to ask Chris about this one.

And apparently God broke my Brita jug because I am too mean?

To explain this one I will execute a story with two fictional characters called Rocky and Rose.

Rocky and Rose do not get along very well. Rocky is an arrogant doo doo face from an exotic foreign country and Rose is a know it all from some westernised country.

One day Rose asks Rocky to help cover the costs of using her Brita filter jug. Because she figures if he uses it he should help with the costs. Rocky reacts by saying she is ‘mean.’

A few days later Rose drops her Brita jug it cracks and breaks precious filtered water flows all over the floor.

The day after that Rocky imposes a very important fact on Rose.

Rocky: I notice your jug is broken.
Rose: So?
Rocky: That is what you get for being mean. You may think no one knows but the people up stairs they know.
Rose: (gives a confused look) Are you suggesting God made me break my water jug.
Rocky: Yes because you’re mean. I’ve seen this happen many times before.
Rose has a flashback to the previous day. She is grabs her water jug out of the fridge. Seconds later she is interrupted by a booming voice.
God: You have been mean; there for you shalt not haveth nice tasting filtered water!
Rose: Oh well….. I will try to be nicer to everyone because I can’t drink tap water please God give me strength to be a nicer better person. (She is most definitely not kidding about this one. )
God: Everyone?
Rose: Everyone except Rocky. (She drops the jug)
God: You are MEAN to him but nice to everyone else? Therefore you must drink from a tap.
Rose: OK have it your way God. I learnt my lesson
End of flashback.
Rose: That’s the stupidest thing I have heard in my entire life.
Rocky: No it isn’t I have seen it happen many times to people.
Rose: Stop saying words!

Moments later Rose’s friend lends her a spare Brita Jug, therefore ruining Rocky’s ENTIOR THEORY! God looks back on how rude Rocky is to Rose and sends an even ruder lady to berate him for not paying a power bill, which in turn equalizes the destruction of the Brita jug.

End of story.

This story is of course about me and my flatmate Kumar I just though it would be better to write this story with a different name rather than take his name in vain 13 times and well I wanted too.

I also might add I wasn’t trying to be sacrilegious. I believe in God and if there was some reason why my stupid jug broke and it’s a form of cosmic balance for being mean, then so be it. I learnt my lesson.

And now its time to share my one and only…

My New Years Resolution: to finish my book and publish it. I have now written 31 chapters of my story, which you can read here. It’s safe to say I am obsessed with it.

I even followed in on my plan. I decided to look into finding an agent. I decided on New York Literary Agency. Big mistake! They almost ripped me off luckily commonsense kicked in before my wallet opened. To put it simple they’re a fake literary agency who pray on writer dreams. Luckily I Googled the name before it was too late. I could write a whole blog entry on this.