Bonne feta et toi! Bonne feta et toi! Happy Birthday to me!

Thursday was my 22nd birthday. I almost forgot about it for some odd reason until Chris wished me a happy birthday. I think I am weird. And time zones dictate that I have two days to celebrate my birthday woo hoo!

Yesterday was the birthday celebrations. Let’s just say they didn’t go quite as planned. I was supposed to go to dinner, then I was supposed to hang out with friends, then I was supposed to go out to dinner, then hang out with friends…I didn’t want to do either because I couldn’t make up my mind. Although, the hanging out with friends wasn’t that bad and YES I was pressured into having a get together…certain people can dispute it as much as they want, but I still stand by what I say.

I have come to these conclusions today:

Jack likes me as friend, which is still cool. I am used to rejection by now.

Justin is a DICKHEAD! And hypocrite! For various reasons I don’t want to discuss. I seriously don’t care what anyone thinks about that! If you think I am being mean. You can bite me!

Joan hugs me too much and gets on my nerves, but I still like her.

Chris is Chris he always will be. Don’t ever change Chris!

Kate is cool! Enough said!

I miss Carol a lot!

I miss Amy a lot too!

I use the ‘I’m homesick excuse’ way too much! I don’t think it works anymore.

My mood has changed many times today. I went from really depressed…to feeling OK too feeling pissed off.

This is a story about my party had it happened the way I wanted…with people I actually wanted to come.

Melissa, Carol, Chris, Jack, Kate and Amy are celebrating Melissa’s birthday at Melissa’s flat.
Chris: Happy Birthday!
Carol: Bonne feta et toi! Bonne feta et toi!
Jack: Is that French?
Carol: Nooo its Germanium
Melissa: Actually it is French. It means happy birthday to you
Kate: Oh it’s your birthday is it? I thought we were here for free cake.
Jack: True! Me too!
Carol: Well there is not cake because I can’t eat cake it just adds more fat to my FAT!
Kate: Caaaarrroooool that doesn’t make any sense!
Carol: You don’t make any sense.
Chris: More sense than you Ca-rol!
Amy walks in the flat.
Amy: Hey guys! Happy birthday Melissa! (She winks)
Melissa: What’s with the wink Amy?
Amy: Oh you know!
Chris: Obviously she doesn’t or she are would not have asked you.
Amy: You know (nods towards Jack)
Jack: (Looks perplexed) What? Am I being weird? Am I?
Melissa: Noooo you’re not. Amy I thought you said you didn’t approve.
Amy: Oh right….why?
Carol: Because he eats babies.
Jack: Who eats babies?
Kate: I do!
Chris: Me too! No I’m just kidding I really do.
Amy: Oh yeah because he’s the ugliest person on the face of the EARTH
Carol: Yes and he eats BABIES!
Jack: Who are you talking about?
Chris: Oh you know they is talking about you and how WEIRD you is.
Carol: And how he eats BABIES!
Jack: I don’t EAT BABIES! (He storms out of the room)
Melissa: Ummm….why don’t we talk about something different.
Amy: Oh Melissa you know I’m joking. You are basing it on personality not looks which is sweet. (winks again)
Carol: Yes that’s something fat people say all the time. Also DON’T IGNORE THE PART ABOUT EATING BABIES. Also if we change the subject well will end up talking about useless trivial stuff.
Chris: You know I are never seen him eat one.
Kate: Where’s weird boy? I mean Jack.
Melissa: (sighs) He stormed off after Carol accused him several times of eating babies, Amy said he was the ugliest person on the face of the EARTH and Chris said he was weird.
Carol: Hey I know where is Jill?
Melissa: Carol I thought we established there is no Jill.
Kate: Who’s Jill?
Chris: You’re Mum.
Jack walks back in the flat with a baby
Jack: My Mum? Oh yeah I brought this baby to prove I won’t eat it because I don’t eat babies because that is weird. Am I weird?
Carol: Oh my God put the baby down! (Covers her eyes)
Melissa: Jack, that’s a plastic doll.
Chris: So Jack are eats plastic babies?
Carol: Phew I though he ate real ones.
Jack: What? I don’t eat babies, plastic or real!
Amy: OH MY GOSH! Where did you get that plastic baby?
Jack: Ummm….some loud blonde girl…she said she was practising.
Amy: OH MY GOSH! That one?
Kate: Which one? Practising for what?
Chris: That what? You mean Joan?
Jack: Yeah that’s the one.
Carol: Soooo does Joan eat babies?
Melissa: No Carol! So why did she give you the doll?
Jack: You know I don’t know. But she asked why she wasn’t invited.
Kate: That’s because Mel-issa HATES her!
Jack: True! I never knew that!
Carol: It’s because she eats babies. We must of mistaken you to be the baby eater instead. Sorry Jack she must be trying to frame you because I’m FAT and I reminded her of a baby and she is worried you’ll eat me first.
Amy: Joan doesn’t eat babies Carol. You’re a rat!
Carol: Now I remember Jack climbs beanstalks and has a friend named Jill.
Jack: Really! I’ve never done that!
Carol: Wait Melissa’s friend AMY….did you just call me a fat?
Amy: Oh Carol you silly girl I called you a rat.
Chris: Yes rat as in R-A-T.
Carol: Noooo I’m fat and rats they are FAT!
There’s a knock on the door. It was Joan.
Joan: Mel is anybody home?
Melissa: Mel-ISSA! No there isn’t go away!
Joan: Are you having a party?
Melissa: Ummm…yes I mean no. Yes that’s right NO!
Jack: I thought this was a party.
Kate: Mel-issa this is a PARTY!
Melissa: Did I give you a formal invite?
Kate: Well then it’s a get together same thing!
Chris: I seem to remember Melissa inviting me
Amy: Yeah me too!
Carol: Noooo this is a Melissa and Carol party you guys just showed up. Only one NERDY WEIRD retard weird girl is allow and me because I’m fat! Melissa I’m your only friend….ONLY friend!
Melissa: (sighs) I give up! Carol you’re beyond help.
Joan continues banging on the door.
Joan: Come on. I KNOW you’re having a party!
Melissa: I wasn’t allowed to invite you because uh….I don’t have enough chairs.
Kate: Yeah Carol takes up two of them!
Carol: (Glares at Kate.) Yeah well you….are just discriminating me because I am FAT and you think people who are fat take up lots of space and lots of fat….I hate you.
Kate: Yes, yes you are…and don’t forget about the chairs.
Joan: (Calling from outside) Can I at least have the baby doll back. I’m practising for my 16 year plan.
Jack: (Looks at doll) Ummm…this is weird. Oh no I’m being WEIRD! Am I being Weird?
Melissa: Jack shut up! (Grabs the doll from him angrily. She walks to the back door and hands the plastic baby to Joan) Here you go Joan!
Joan: (Tries to see inside) Hi Melissa! Amy! Chris! Kate! Jack! Carol!
Melissa: Oh sorry A.E.S.M meeting no Joan’s allowed! I have to go! (Slams door in Joan’s face)
Chris: Melissa you is really mean!
Amy: A.E.S.M meeting! Yay!
Melissa: Like I said I don’t have anywhere for her to sit…
Kate: That’s the dumbest excuse ever!
Carol: You’re the dumbest excuse ever!
Chris: You are!
Melissa: So what should we do now?
Carol: Talk about non NERD stuff
Chris: Eat cake!
Jack: Something that isn’t weird or involves me possibly being weird.
Amy: Plan your wedding!
Kate: Kill Carol!
Carol: What! That’s terrible!
Jack: Who’s wedding?
Amy: Oh you know!