The K.I.A. what is it and who knows it?

Monday at uni, Joan showed up and sat with Chris and I uninvited for the second Monday in a row. If I did not like her I would have told her so. I hopefully behaved myself this time. The events that transpired from this have inspired this entry.

Somewhere along the conversation…Joan says.

Joan: Justin has influenza.
Me thinking: What are you trying to sound smart now?
Me: Umm isn’t that the same thing as the flu?
Joan: No its true influenza the flu is different.
Me thinking: No its isn’t.
Me: Umm…no it’s the same. Flu is short for influenza.
Joan: Gives me the ‘I can’t believe your going to argue with me look because I am obviously right.’ Note: That is the sign of a fight to the death argument.
Me: I’ll ask Louie because she is a nurse.
Me thinking: I give up, this is a case of the K.I.A.F.T.D.S

I think I have changed because my old self would have fought her to the death over this stupid fact. Well not actual death. I did ask Louie about this as well as my Mom, who studied the influenza virus in college and got top marks. I was proven right, Joan was not, therefore, Louie said she is dumb, that she has two ears and no brains in between. I did not say that, nor did I seek that response. I only wanted to find out if I was right, which I was. When I mentioned this to Chris he said my actions were a little over the top, that I went through a great deal of trouble to prove how right I was. That they were…I am not ashamed to admit it.

What exactly am I writing about? I am writing about the Know It All. When I talk about the Know It All, I mean those who know trivial facts or those with opinions. What is K.I.A.F.T.D.S? It’s an acronym I came up with which means, the Know it all fight to the death scenario. Sometimes is a look or a tone of voice, in which they state the fact or opinion.

A K.I.A.F.T.D.S can be over the stupidest thing. Here is an example: Kayla, Louie and I were watching House, when it shows a scene about how a woman contracted worms from eating pork. This is when Kayla said.

Kayla: That’s why I don’t eat red meat.
Me: Pork is white meat.
Kayla: No its red meat, because it makes me sick.
Me: No! Pork is a white meat!
Kayla: No it’s red, because I know it makes me sick.
Me: No it’s white!
Me thinking: Urgh God damn it I give up this argument is pointless.

Through out this whole stupid argument, Louie was wise enough to stay inconspicuously silent. The humble know it all.

It was once said that those who know it all annoy those who actually do. So very true. Some would say there are two types of know it alls, the ones that do and the ones that don’t but, I have narrowed it down to eight types. These are people I have met through out my life; they can also cross over into each other. I am not going to say who they are either.

1. The Basic Know It All: They genuinely do know what they are talking about or at least they believe they do.
2. The shallow minded know it all: They have little knowledge, but think they have more, and it scared them if someone knows more than them. When challenged they will go into attack mode, their whole self esteem relies on them being right even if they’re wrong, they will stop at nothing to prove their correctness.
3. The Actual Know It All: People who actually do know what they are talking about enough said. They are usually pretty humble about this, unless they are challenged.
4. The superiority know it all: This is a combination of the first two, they feel superior and take pride in the fact. When challenged they too will go into attack mode, their whole self esteem relies on them being proven right, which 90 % of the time they are. They will stop at nothing to prove their correctness. They will sometimes even go to outside sources to prove how completely right they are. The first and third one is a scary combination.
5. The argumentative know it all: They could be either of the above, they will never stop arguing the point with you. They won’t give up ever, whether they are right or wrong. They will usually start the argument in the first place. Make sure you bring your boxing gloves. The point of this is to not argue with them in the first place.
6. Insufferable know it all: Like the second and the third one except they go on quoting all they know all the time and try to make others feel stupid and hope that you are number one know it all and not number two or number four.
7. The Unaware Insufferable Know It All: Same as six except they don’t know they are doing it.
8. The opinionated know it all: They believe so strongly in their opinion they will fight you over it until they prove to you that they are right or think like they do. For instance it could be environmental issues or politically motivated debates such as Canada’s stance on same sex marriage. They key to dealing with this know it all is to not necessarily side with them but accept that there opinion is different then yours.

The Know It All gathers their knowledge and believes they know they’re true because:

A: A friend told them
B: TV program or some sort of media told them.
C: Other influences
D: There are gullible little fuckwits.

All the aforementioned The Know It All has four particular traits:

1. They like to be right.
2. Do not like to be proven wrong,
3. Do not like it to be insinuated that they are wrong
4. Will sometimes fight you to the death over it. (Metaphorically of course)
5. Will occasionally give up if they have too, but this is very rare.

The best defence when in a fight to the death with a know it all.

1. Agree to disagree: This one is hard, especially if you are fired up about the argument.
2. Go to outside sources if you have too.
3. Stop arguing with them as soon as possible, before the argument gets heated
4. Question why they believe what they do. For example: I asked Kayla why she though pork was white meat. It’s because she believes before the meat is cooked it is red.
5. Understand that it’s OK to be wrong sometimes or have a different opinion. Keep in mind know one can know it all.

Sadly one person must always be wrong. And know one can really know it all. I sadly am on that list I am a three. I also think people can shift from each type depending on their mood or the argument at hand. Perhaps all in all some people have troubles admitting they are wrong. I learnt its good to question. If you question why they believe this then you understand why in the first place even if you think it is dumb.

So do you agree with my analysis or shall I have to fight with you to prove my correctness?