A Carol Puzzle?

Today I shall introduce to you a character I like to call Mock Carol. A character that is not based on Carol but merely an aspect of her personality, she is not the real Carol, but a piece of the Carol puzzle or perhaps an enigma of the person I know as Carol. This character is in no way related to Carol or is in fact Carol. I wrote these stories in honour of Chris. We came up with these funny story lines today.

Carol: If she misinterprets this post

Me: Hey Clairol! (referring to the cosmetics brand)
Carol: Its Carol not Clairol there is no such thing as Clairol.
Me: Yes there is and it rhymes with your name.
Carol: No it doesn’t
Me: Yes it does.
Carol: No it doesn’t Clairol isn’t anything like Carol
Me: Clairol is a cosmetics brand
Carol: No it isn’t it’s a make up company
Me: Then how do you explain Herbal Essence
Carol: You don’t, because they’re different, its shampoo.
Me: Don’t you use Herbal Essence.
Carol: Yeah
Me: They use real herbal and fruit extracts.
Carol: No they don’t there is no such thing as herbal extracts its herbal traps
Me: What?
Carol: Shut up! I know what I am talking about.
Me: Why Carol?
Carol: Because I am fat!
Me: As opposed to being thin?
Carol: F**k off or I’ll go quamacozi on your ass

This is a new story…Carol is a server at a fast food joint one that serves Mexican food such as, tacos, soft tacos, bean tacos, and taco salad…as well as other things. One day a Greek customer comes to the humble abode in search of Greek salad.

Customer: I’d like a Greek Salad thanks.
Carol: OK, hey did you know the Greeks invented fire.
Customer: No they didn’t God created fire.
Carol: No he didn’t Greeks were around before God.
Customer: What God created the whole world and the Greeks?
Carol: Enough about Greek already.
Customer: Don’t you mean Greece?
Carol: There is no such place as Greece.
Customer: Yes there is people from Greece are called Greek.
Carol: No there not grease. It’s that stuff over there. She points to a deep fryer.
Customer: What about the movie Grease?
Carol: There was no movie called Grease.
Customer: Yes there was…John Travolta…Oliva Newton John and it was a musical.
Carol: It’s Elton John, he wasn’t an actor in some made up movie and musicals don’t exist.
Customer: Look I just want a Greek Salad.
Carol: Why would they make a movie about that there stuff in the deep fryer? She points.
Customer: They wouldn’t do that.
Carol: Yes they would how do you know?
Customer: sounds impatient…I just want a freaking Greek salad.
Carol: Fine you’re so undemocratically dictator like.
Customer: What? Are you saying I am totalitarian?
Carol: No, totalitarian isn’t a word.
Customer: Yes it is.
Carol: No it isn’t.
Customer: Right so I suppose historians say something else when describing Stalin and Lenin?
Carol: Oceanians…
Customer: They’re Russian
Carol: No there not.
Customer: Never mind…Can I please have a salad?
Carol: In a minute…by the way did you know the Romans invented democracy.
Customer: That was the Greeks.
Carol: No it wasn’t
A few minutes have passed, awkward silence two eyes on two, customer vs. Carol. The salad has been prepared. Carol brings it to the customer.
Customer: What! That’s an Italian salad. I asked for Greek.
Carol: Same thing.
Customer: No it isn’t!
Carol: Yes it is!
Customer: And I suppose your going to say that Italy is not shaped like a boot?
Carol: Yeah Italy is not shaped like boot. That’s Greek.
Customer: Greece! You geographically challenge doodoohead
Carol: You’re a doodoohead…I hope your salad tastes like rotten ice cream.
Customer: Oh yeah well South America is shaped like an ice cream cone.
Carol: No it isn’t countries are not made of ice cream and for your information it’s South Africa.
Customer: Gives a defeated sigh and walks away.
Carol: Have a nice day!
Customer: Oh piss off!

They say at university you will learn something. Today I learnt women also played a role in the early days of journalism. Some inherited papers after there husbands died. Some went under pseudo names or used their brothers’ names. It’s quite fascinating.

Today I started off liking someone but started to dislike them with in a few hours... Then I had new respect for someone I thought I never had that I started off not liking. It’s a conundrum.