NO NEVER!

I can’t believe I haven’t written in this dear old blog in 18 days. EIGHTEEN DAYS! I’ve neglected it to the point that it is collecting cyber dust. For that I apologise.

My life you could say has been eventfully uneventful. Let’s see what has happened since I saw the sea captain? Not much really. Perhaps some random words and phrases will explain it better.

Rainy weather

Work

A flatmate left and another one moved in, same old same old.

Angry Christmas shoppers

Tiredness

I saw a cowboy pregnant old lady man.

“Free” is a subjective and confusing word.

Homesickness

Christmas parties

And that’s about all I can think of.

So as you can see or should I say read…the last couple of weeks leading up to Christmas have made me tired and unable to think properly. If I was not working I was busy with my friends, other social pursuits and forced into taking care of Joan’s birds. YES FORCED! Contrary to popular belief I was not asked to take care of them. I was told I was taking care of them, then reminded a week later I was supposed to be taking care of them. I could have done with out the 7 a.m. wake up call. I have something called work. WORK! Sorry that’s my last rant for the end of the entire year I promise.

Christmas Eve I had to work and Christmas Day once again didn’t feel like the Christmases I knew long ago. I spent it with my friends Serena and Jason and Serena’s family. It was fun. It beat spending it alone. Sadly I think the prawns I ate made me sick. We also went for a quick walk to the beach. I love the beach. I think it was because I was born on an entire island. I like the way the wet sand feels on my feet.

Anyways, the much anticipated Plan 10 from Outer space went off with an entire bang. At the end of it I wore my entire dress, had a bad stomach ache, an angry photographer from work telling me to take a fucking Panadol and a Mr. Potential Love Interest (Sounds like a superheroes character :P) The later confounds me. Not much romantical (I made up this word) happened if you count the endless dancing and trips to the pinball machine. Officer Octogenarian never turned up :(

Speaking of Officer Octogenarian, strangely enough I have nearly forgotten all about my him although he still seems to dwell in my dreams a lot. That reminds me a few weeks before the big night out I had a dream that Officer Octogenarian rejected me. In the dream, I being brave asked him to come out with Amy, Chris and I and he said sorry I have to work. Then I being even braver asked how about some other time to which he reacted by saying.

“NO NEVER! “

And that was the end of my entire dream. It made me sad like, but I found it amusing at the same time. For some reason I feel I won’t be talking about Officer Octogenarian much anymore unless it’s the character in my story, which is quite possible.

P.S. I am suffering from brain drain. I promise I will have a better entry soon.

I can sea things clearly now!

Another entry of randomness!

I don’t know how many of you watch the TV show Heroes, but I wish I had the power Matt Parkman has. He is telepathic, but he can make people do stuff just by putting a thought into their head. I could use this to my advantage at work mwhahahahahahhaha!!!! Just kidding.

Today was an interesting day, you see last night I my glasses broke, then I remembered my spares broke too! So because I obsess I was completely worried that I wouldn’t be able to fix them the next day. Luckily was able to fix my glasses while I was supposed to work or else I would either walk into stuff (I nearly ran into a poll outside the shopping centre) or be squinting while talking to customers. Luckily the manager Mrs. Amazing Marlon Brando Woman, 9she is seriously cool as) was understanding of my predicament and luckily the eye glass shop was open on a Saturday. Phew! So I guess this last paragraph was entirely boring, who wants to read about my stupid glasses? I apologise for the boringness.

I probably already told Chris this but I was meandering around Coles on Wednesday while working at Pixi Foto and I saw a pregnant old lady man who looked like an entire sea captain. AN ENTIRE SEA CAPTAIN! He was also wearing a Hawaiian style shirt, a kilt and he had a Santa Clause beard. He seriously looked like an entire character had meandered from the story universe of superheroes. And because my entire job is to annoy people...I was able to talk to him. He was pretty cool. Sadly he wasn't interested in portraits. You had to have been there to see him. He inspired a character in the sequel too! I am not sure if he’d be a main character or a random pregnant old lady man Philis has a row with, but I know for some reason his name is Patrick and he is somehow connected to Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum.

Also on Wednesday I had an entire idea! A couple of people asked me if where I work takes pictures of pets. Sadly they don’t. So I thought to myself it would be really cool to start my own business one day taking portraits or photos of people’s animals, whether they are playing in a park or want to pose with them. I wouldn’t completely do the whole photo studio thing as I am not really in to that. I have always thought that a lot of people feel their dog, cat, bird, the goldfish or whatever is a part of their family. In fact the people I talked too said that their entire family was their dogs. It would be cool if one could have the entire family portraits, not just the human members, but animal as well. I met another lady today who had similar interests.

Take for instance my grandma Val-Lady treats her dogs like their part of the family. She cooks rice and liver every night for their dinner and she loves them like they were one of her kids. She reckons that dogs are like small children and deserve all the best love and care in the entire world even if it is expensive. She even gives them human names, Hev-Lady carried on the tradition somewhat. (We had one dog named Sparky.) My mom kind of said that it was demeaning to give them stupid pet names. It was fun to visit my grandma and her dogs when I was little. My favourite dog of hers was Jerry, but he got old and died sadly. I think my grandma still misses him. I have heaps of photos of my dog Heidi, who was my best dog friend in the entire world. My mom paid me out for taking so many photos, but now that Heidi has passed away I am glad I have a treasure trove of memories. So if people have strong feelings for their animals I think they should also be included in memories such as photos.

P.S. I am incredibly tired!

I don't wear a red shirt!

I spent the weekend working, firstly, at Pixi Foto, where I for four hours endured the same response from 90 percent of people. “No thank you love I am not interested in photos.” To which I responded “I understand you’re all photoed out eh?” Then they’d laugh and say. “Yes darl all photoed out.” It was lame. The trick is to remain positive. I find that tough some days I am ready to say stuff it and just walk out, but I know I need this job so I can’t.

I also got mistaken for a target employee four time and the customer has the gall to get cranky at me when I refuse to help them and say I am from Pixi Foto. Pixi Foto Manager Mrs. Amazing Marlon Brando Woman, I call her this because she has red hair (You’ll understand if you’ve read Superheroes.) says it comes with the job and says I should help them, because I would know seeing as I meander around the entire shop for three hours four days a week. I say not to her face mind you that it’s not my entire job and Target employees may not like me doing the job they get paid to do. It’s like asking them to hand out a million vouchers and get rejected repeatedly, which I’d never ask anyone to do, not even a Target employee. Customers are retarded they even come to the studio and ask the photographers in there for directions to things. Hello not affiliated with Target. I want to tell them that Target employees wear red shirts! I do NOT wear a red shirt. I also want to tell all the pregnant old lady woman to stop wearing pink shirts because they all blend in together, but that’s a different story. And that dear reader is my new pet peeve.

Friday at Pixi Foto was pretty cool I saw a real pregnant old lady woman, just like the ones I write about in my stories. All I remember is she wasn’t interested in photos, was wearing pink, had no eyelashes and babbled on for about 15 minutes about ironing and how she hates it. She was quite a nice lady, she even said dolphins and whales used to have legs! No I made that up, but it would have been cool if she did it.

The rest of Saturday it I spent helping my friends Serena and Jason move. Day 1 which was yesterday was the moving bit and day 2, today was the cleaning up type bit. They better not tell Ev-Lady I helped them clean or she’ll be like. “Oh my gosh, Miss Mel-issa the unclean tenant who chases away flatmates because of her unclean like behaviours actually cleaned?! To bad it’s the wrong flat. WRONG FLAT! Now you will not get your entire bond back because it’s Melissa’s fault for cleaning your flat instead of hers.”

So as you can tell I am still a bit sour about the being blamed for my flatmate moving out because of my so calked lack of washing up. I clean up after myself God damn it! How the hell does Ev-Lady know I am unclean unless she comes to my flat for more than five minutes to show the entire flat to a new prospective flatmate, whom might possibly be offended by my apparent lack of cleaning. If she is so paranoid why show anyone, not my renew my lease and kick me out?

Anyways for helping I got three meals, lunch, dinner and lunch, a naked lady, a genuine Australian tennis ball, sore feet and dishpan hands. It was worth it however, because it made me feel good to help someone out. Someone said to me (I can’t remember who), when I was going through a rough patch said that people are helping me now, but the opportunity to help someone else will come along. I guess it did just in a different way.

Now you are probably wondering about the naked lady? She is actually a small garden statue that has floated around the complex where I live. Serena and Jason would have taken it but they were worried her head would fall off because there is a crack in her neck. So I was told to take it and put it in my yard instead, perhaps as a tradition. As for the tennis ball, everything was entirely cleaned at the flat and they were about to venture off and the ball was bounced my way. I caught it and I was told I could keep it. It’s kind of a memento.

Hmmm….I also found an entire dress at Rockmans on Thursday. AN ENTIRE DRESS! It’s on lay-by as of now, but I am excited because I’ve never had a nice going out dress before. Ah yes my dilemma about trying to save money has gone down hill because of my obsession with things I like. I bought a $20 book the other day called The Fourth Bear by Jasper Fforde the same author of The Big Over Easy the other day. Case in point I found a new favourite author and I shouldn’t of bought the book or currently be buying the dress. I then thought about the little child and the mum. Little Melissa begging Big Melissa too buy these things for her. She would have a temper tantrum every time Big Melissa said no. I imagined her like the little brats of today, pinching a fit and screaming because she didn’t get her own way. I felt like I became the parent who finally gives in to make it all go away. I convinced myself it was good because I reasoned I had worked hard for it so I should. I also realise referring to myself as two separate Melissa’s is kind of creepy.

P.S. I wish I had an entire car. AN ENTIRE CAR!