Procrastination, Nerdiness, Love and Vandalism

Procrastination: To put things off till the last minute. The inevitable enemy towards the uni student. It is something I have become familiar with in my academic university career. For instance rather than work on my essay on the “Civilising Mission” for Technology Communication on Culture. I vandalised Wikipedia by spreading the word about Irish Evil and played spider solitaire on my computer. I made plays list for Song of the Superhero characters Philis and Officer Octogenarian. Some song choices are based on the name, others are based on lyrical content and some are pure randomness.

Philis Philmore – Philis’ FAT music

1. Who let the cows out – Weird Al Yankovich
2. Eat it - Weird Al Yankovich
3. Fat - Weird Al Yankovich
4. Pink Triangle – Weezer
5. Boom, Boom, Boom – The Vega Boys
6. Addicted – Simple Plan
7. I Am A Rock – Simon and Garfunkle
8. Potato girl – Our Lady Peace
9. Man eater – Nelly Furtado
10. Explode – Nelly Furtado
11. The Hungry Years – Neil Sedaka
12. The Other Side of Me – Neil Sedaka
13. Milkshake- Kellis
14. He Ain’t Heavy…He’s My Brother – The Hollies
15. I Can’t Tell the Bottom From the Top – The Hollies
16. Yummy – Gwen Stefani
17. Shakin’ All Over – The Guess Who
18. Hungry Like A Wolf – Duran Duran
19. Rave On – Buddy Holly
20. Rock This Party – Bob Sinclair.

Officer Octogenarian – Beautiful Me

1. Beautiful life – Guy Sebastian
2. My Beautiful friend – Guy Sebastian
3. Beautiful Disaster – Kelly Clarkson
4. Beautiful You – Neil Sedaka
5. Beautiful Day – U2
6. Beautiful Liar – Beyonce and Shakira
7. Celebrity – Barenaked Ladies
8. Glamorous – Fergie
9. Fergalicious – Fergie
10. Brown Eyed Handsome Man – Chuck Berry
11. Love to Love you Baby – Donna Summer
12. Love Me- Buddy Holly
13. This Fire – Franz Ferdinand
14. Glamour Boy – The Guess Who
15. Star Baby – The Guess Who
16. Dancin’ Fool – The Guess Who
17. Just One Look – The Hollies
18. Let Me Entertain You –Robbie Williams
19. Star of All the Planets – Ryan Malcolm
20. Absolutely Perfect – Ryan Malcolm
21. Conventioneers – Barenaked Ladies
22. Sell, Sell, Sell – Barenaked Ladies

Painstakingly hilarious aren’t it? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Then again if it isn’t procrastination that is getting me it is matters of the heart…

Love a word or perhaps a feeling that is on my mind lately.

As for love in the romantic sense, I am under the belief from past unlucky experiences you don’t choose who you like or love it just happens. I’ve never been in love but I have been seriously in like, but is it just physical attraction or something more? I think these things happen for a reason.

For instance, I recently have begun a minor infatuation with a boy at uni who I will call Multimedia Guy II (to allow for anonymity.) Jo says we are very similar. We have the same sense of humour. I can make a smart ass like comment and he will completely understand it and react with a smart ass comment of his own. We both like to read and we like science fiction. Today we had a D and M about Stargate, Harry Potter and Star Wars. It’s a fact were both NERD nerdy retarded weird people. I wonder if he likes me back because he goes out of his way to talk to me and after class today he walked with me to the bus stop.

However, something happened on Saturday night that makes question the logic of the matters of the heart. I met Officer Octogenarian. Well not physically as he doesn’t actually exist seeing as I created him in a strange garbled over imaginative story. He is more of a metaphor of the guy of any girl’s dreams, which is partly what the character is based on. He almost looks like Officer Octogenarian. He has the black curly hair and brown eyes. He isn’t the most beautiful boy in the world, but there was just something about him that made me like him. I can’t explain it. I told Amy about him and she said that I have never talked about a guy like him before.

More proof of my procrastination a blog entry from my alter ego :P

Dear blogosphere of hopefully intelligent humans:

Today my mom Hevlynn not Hev-Lady explained to me one of the many aspects of coming into Neptunian womanhood. That’s right I am experiencing “Neptunian puberty.” So now I look forward to turning obscenely blue when I am angry, developing outer rings of star dust around my waste to symbolise fertility and enhancement to my brain melting catacleptic powers.

In fact the last factor is full on. During a dinner party at Princess Jo’s about a week ago, I simply explained how Fergus uses of a blender as well as the mechanics and the invention of this useful device to Officer Beautiful Face…a.k.a. Oliver. Moments later he was rolling on the floor in complete agony. At first I thought it was because of Fergus’s name, but then I realised I had accidentally given him a brain melting attack and I wasn’t even trying to be a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl know it all.

I would also like to point out to certain villains masquerading as heroes to desist in calling my friend Philis Fattybumstockings.

Now I shall share with you music that I am listening to as of the moment.

My NERD nerdy retarded play list….

1. White & Nerdy – Weird Al Yankovick
2. Star Trek Rhapsody – Weird Al Yankovick
3. Too Little Too Late – Barenaked Ladies
4. In Repair – Our Lady Peace
5. Eleanor Rigby – The Beatles
6. Space Rock – Weezer
7. Mr. Roboto – Styx
8. Solitaire – Neil Sedaka
9. Its All Been Done – Barenaked Ladies
10. Grace Kelly - Mika
11. 5th Symphony – Ludwig van Beethoven
12. Walk Like an Egyptian – The Bangles
13. Intergalactic –The Beastie Boys
14. Love Me Or Hate Me – Lady Sovereign
15. Buddy Holly – Weezer
16. That’ll Be The Day – Buddy Holly
17. Why Bother? – Weezer
18. When Doves Cry – Prince
19. Kryptonite – Three Doors Down

~ Ashleigh D3 McGlonagick.

P.S. I asked out a NERD nerdy retarded weird boy!

My Compulsory Entry

I spent most of the day attempting to write at least two chapters to Song of the Superheroes….and I have good news!

*Drum roll*

Chapter 46 and Chapter 47 are now ready for your viewing pleasure.

Apparently whenever I write a chapter for my story I am required to write a blog entry.

So here it is…Insert fascinating thought or insight here.

THE END!

Happy now :P

P.S. Being and Irish Nerd is better than being a NERD nerdy retarded weird girl.

I am happy and confounded!

“God is the dad and he is like a parrot.”

“The sun warms all living beings like the sun.”

By reading those last two phrases its apparent they make no sense. But they made an audible appearance in another confounding dream last night. Those two sentences were uttered when some kids read an online Bible? A Bible that is made so its “easier” to understand.

And how did it get to this point that I read this online Bible?

It was near the end of the world. Why it was near and not the end I do not know.

I was talking with my step dad in my dream, (who is a real poo head by the way.) We were discussing the end of the world. I was a young child and I was crying because I wasn’t ready for it and I was worried Jesus would leave me behind. He then suggested the Bible made for kids.

Then as I was reading it went black, the earth was burning, fire was every where. But I wasn’t scared. I was a teenager again. Then a comical cartoon looking white spider wearing a green top hat was chasing me and trying to kill me. I some how knew I was pregnant and the spider wanted to transplant his DNA into it so it could make mutant spider people. But I tricked it and the spider fell down a gap in the ground and died.

Soon after it became winter and I was standing in the middle of a frozen lake. A handsome man came to save me riding a white elephant. I then realised that this man was my husband. Then the ice began to crack and fell in.

Was that strange or what?

On Saturday night Chris, Joan and I went out clubbing. It was fun. I however under a sugar and caffeine high decided to initiate “The Philis Dance.” The floor was scarce so my dance was very much seen by others and soon after I became the centre of attention and not in a so exactly positive away a negative making fun of type way. I became very self conscious. Luckily the self conscious feeling subsided once the floor became crowed and I decided to stop caring what complete drunken strangers think.

I am happy today because I am going to attempt to make my favourite dish. Green bean casserole, which consists of canned green beans, mushroom soup and plain potato chips. I hope I remember how to make it.

P.S. Whoo! Fat Bandit! I mean boo Fat Bandit! I’M FAT!

Irish Evil the sarcastic approach!

The coolest Cartoon I’ve seen in a while.

It relates to my assignment in Communication in the Digital Age, which I swear has driven me to the end of insanity and back! I’ve had enough of Wikipedia. I am almost tempted to rage Irish Evil upon many article. He he he….

Go the insanity! Snaps for madness! Jo and I have agreed to go mad together.

I’m in a very sarcastic mood.

I know when I have enough of assignments when I write the following for a television journalism assessment.

“The environmental person of all knowing expertness believes otherwise.”

Imagine if my tutors Bridget or Bruce whose names coincidentally begin with B and have very journalistic sounding names read that.

It amuses me for some reason and I am tempted to actually leave in the script.

You see my script is about global warming. Yes, yes I know global warming. Melissa is obsessed with global warming, snaps for Melissa the all knowing expert of global warmingness.

And I know I’m obsessed with global warming because I keep having nightmares about sea levels rising and drowning in a massively large ocean.

And by the end of writing this every so sarcastical entry I am finished my assignments. Yay! Although it’s Friday the 13 and it’s a very unlucky day to do assignments. That’s if you believe in superstitious mumble jumble.

Now for a brief interlude to the assignment madness…I plan to finish Superheroes during the week break. Yay! So stay tuned for a fantastical conclusion.

P.S. Whoever invented TV journalism is a poo head for making poor students work so hard and digital communication has eroded humanities ability to talk face to face. Mwhahahahahahhahhahahahha

Humanity Vs. Enviromentalism

Recently I’ve been told that I’ve gone on an environmental kick. That’s true!

Then there have been those who said I’m anti human and anti babies NOT true!

I guess that’s what I get for reading a chapter titled Go Forth and Multiply…in David Suzuki’s book It’s a Matter Of Our Survival. Some scientists and anti-poverty groups suggest abortion could be used to control the overpopulation problem on earth in third world countries, that because of the over population, these people are in poverty. It goes on to say that encouraging woman to have babies in Western countries through financial incentives just furthers the problem of overpopulation which drains our resources.

Suzuki says three North American children are just as deadly to the environment as 103 Bangladeshi children. However, I don’t think this isn’t just a matter of environmental concerns but cultural and societal differences. No where in this chapter does it mention the aging baby boomers or how maybe corrupt governments hold a card in the poverty dilemma as well.

I being silly, read this near Joan who desperately wants a baby, for reasons still unbeknownst to me. Then I was insensitive and said I agreed with some of the points, like overpopulation being bad. Silly me I forgot about Jo’s 16 year plan to have four kids. I feel terrible because it isn’t my place to judge who has babies and who doesn’t. I wonder if the environmentalists consider the fact that if we stop having kids the human race will end. Humanity and the environment go hand in hand but it seems that they are also opposing forces. It’s a never ending conundrum.

P.S. Mrs. Lachlan’s Mum is expecting her first litter of children….

Gods Eye

A couple nights ago I had a truly confounding dream.

I was in a fancy 19th century living room with lush red carpets and delicately engraved artistic walls. Joan was following me around.

I saw a shelf it had a book on it. It was a magazine that profiled me as an author. I read about how my current novel Song of the Superheroes was number 3 on the best sellers list. It mentioned the sequel and other works of brilliant non-fiction novels I had written about humanity and the environment. I tried to get an idea of what it said exactly but my eyes kept drooping as if I were tired and I couldn’t open them. I would then try to read it again and the same thing would happen before I could finish the paragraph. I do remember reading about how I mentioned in the article how my friends in Australia were the most inspirational and how much I missed them and I can’t wait to come back and visit.

So I told Joan in my dream that I thought this was a divine message and she replied that it was mostly likely from the underworld. Then suddenly I saw a giant eye peering at me through the ceiling. It was God’s eye. He called my name several times. It felt an almighty presence and I knew it was God. God then said to me. “Wake up! Now! Now! Now!”

When I woke up again I was in the same living room and Joan was shouting the same thing at me repeatedly. But this time she had turned into Lisa Simpson. I then saw a fatter version of her in a purple yelling at someone on the couch. I am not sure who it is.

I woke up again in my room and I picked up a baby. It was wrapped in a purple blanket and I shouted at it “Wake up! Now! Now! Now!” I then became the baby and I saw my eye looking at me.

Then if that wasn’t strange enough I was then in the Song of the Superheroes universe and Officer Octogenarian was sleeping in the front seat of the police car and Mrs. Lachlan's Mum in the back seat yelled at him to: “Wake up! Now! Now! Now! He then shot a hole in the roof because she had startled him. Then oddly enough there was a laugh track like in the sitcoms, and mysteriously though the hole in the police car was God’s eye again looking at me.

It are was strange. I wonder what it means.

Global Warming: Its a Matter of Our Survival

From reading Amy’s blog, I see she has a strong passion for indigenous rights. And although it’s hard to agree with everything said, I have respect for her. We need people to campaign and take an interest in important issues in this world.

As for me, I have a growing interest in environmental issues, particularly global warming.
Greenpeace, environmentalists, conservationists, preservationists are groups of people I have great respect for. They might be seen as crazy anti-human, anti-progress tree hugging weirdoes. They tend to go to extremes, but someone has to be brave enough do it. One may say I am turning into a greenie. Of course I’m not going to tie myself to tree or join an anti whaling expedition, but I do agree the planet is dying and it needs my help even if I am just one person.

Global warming is an issue that has made its way into the news on frequent basis. Scientists warn its global issue that affects the lives of everyone and everything who call Earth their home.

Canadian Environmentalist and geneticist David Suzuki in his book It’s a Matter of our Survival, says in the world is not infinite as we may believe, but it is actually finite. Humanity has this ideal that they can fix nature and take more than it gives back believing the Earth will replenish itself magically. When really were causing more harm than good. Nothing in our evolutionary experience or social conditions prepares us for the limits of a finite world.

Suzuki compares global warming to the phenomenon biologists call “boiled frog syndrome.” Basically if they put a frog in a pot of water and gradually increase the temperature of the water from 20 degrees C to 30 degrees to 40 degrees to 90 degrees, the frog would sit there unaffected, but when the water boils at 100 degrees, the frog would die. Environmentalists and scientists often use this example as a metaphor for the human situation. We are literally heating up the world with out recognizing the danger. Scientists’ warnings go unheeded. By seeing the world as infinite rather than finite we may not be aware that our local actions have global consequences.

Because the frog has no evolutionary experience with boiling water he is unable to see it as dangerous. Just like the boiled frog our senses are not attuned to the warnings of imminent danger. We don’t feel the acidy of the rain, feel the ultra violet radiation seeping through the ozone hole, taste the toxins in our food and water, or feel the heat of global warming. Just like the frog we feel the heat as gradual, therefore endurable.

Scientists constantly warn us that a five degree rise in temperature will mean the end of life on this planet as we know it. Imagine a world of famine, disease, rising sea levels, severe storms. It is not a science fiction movie, but a reality. It’s already happening and it might too late. We all share the same air, the same ocean the same home, yet we don’t seem to understand the dangers of what we are doing.

The plight of this situation may also scare others who feel there is nothing we can do to stop what is happening, but the truth is there is. Suzuki says if we start locally it works globally. Ideally if we all do something small it becomes bigger.

For me I recycle when I can and even rescue cans, bottles thrown into the rubbish bin my flatmates. They tend to think I’m a bit strange because of it. My mom composts green waste for her plants. If you have any clothes, or items you need or like anymore you can donate to the local second hand shop or sell it at garage sale. My grandma always said that “some else’s junk is another’s treasure.” It uses more energy to make something new. Conserve energy! Why have your computer or your TV on all day if you’re not going to use or watch it? Walk to the corner store instead of driving up the street. Take public transit if applicable. It’s your choice, but I believe it’s also your responsibility as a citizen of planet Earth.

Global Warming is an issue that is under constant debate. Whether you believe it is happening or not, it wouldn’t hurt to take care of the home we live and breathe of. I am under the belief that although human rights are immensely important, so is the environment. The Earth is like an island and if we deplete the elements that sustain us there is no human rights to fight for because humanity will extinct. Remember extinct is forever there is no going back.

P.S. This just in: Fergaria-Finbarton’s neighbouring island country Ferbaria-Purpleraria has just been covered in water due to rising sea levels and a severest most terrible cyclone every recorded.